Thursday, August 17, 2006

It's finally happened...

I was in the shower this morning, and I grabbed a bottle in order to wash my hair.

Through the spray of lukewarm water emitted by our shower, I read the details on the bottle in my hand; triglycerides, double-shine(tm), polynutrients, aloe vera, 10% extra, etc

But the keyword I was looking for was missing. I don't give a sh!t about your marketing buzzwords, is this SHAMPOO or CONDITIONER? Didn't actually say it anywhere.

I hate marketing people. So full of sh!te. They should all be lined up, bummed by a gorilla, set on fire and then killed. In that order.

You see, a marketing person wouldn't understand the significance of the order. There's no point killing them first, they wouldn't feel the rest of it. Equally, you can't set them on fire before being bummed as that's cruel to the gorilla.

Marketing people would say, "well, I think we should keep the gorilla for the finale to make sure our demographic sits through the advertisement breaks" or "what colour fur should the gorilla have?" or "can we get Janet Jackson to sing during the pyrotechnics?" - all total irrelavent piffle.

And another thing (before I get loads of hate mail for this posting):

Many will claim that it's very simple; the Conditioner bottle stands on it's lid, which is how you tell the difference - unless you happen to be my wife, in which case ALL the bottles get stood on their lid.


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