Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Money For Nothing

Last night, the popular TV Program 'Tonight with Trevor McDonald' was championing the cause of these poor unfortunates who have lost a fortune due to the Banks providing Equity 'scams' in the 90s.

For example; one chappie took £2 from Barclays and now owes them £5million. Or something.

It all tugs at the heart strings and all, but to be honest, it's the usual run of greedy, whinging bastards who thought they were onto a free lunch.

Consider the following conversation
Greedy Whinging Old Bastard: Hello, Mr Bank. I'd like some money
Facist Financial Corporation: Er, sure. How much?
Whinger: I'd like £20,000 now. And then you pay me £400 every month for the rest of my life
Facist: Ok....how much were you thinking of repaying us each month?
Whinger: Nothing. Zip. Nada. Bugger all.
Facist: I see. So we give you £20,000 now and (assuming you live another 20 years) a further £96,000 and you don't repay us anything?
Whinger: Correct.
Facist: Er....
Whinger: But I own a house. It's worth £100k
Facist: Hmm. How about this: sign 75% of it over to us. We'll let you live in it rent free for the rest of your life, guaranteed
Whinger: What if house prices go down as some people predict and I live another 30 years? You'll lose an absolute fortune. The interest on £20,000 alone will amount to tens of thousands.
Facist: WE'LL TAKE THE RISK. We're nice like that.
Whinger: Sounds good to me (you dumb bastards)
Facist: It's a deal

Whinger dies 4 years later (while driving the Lexus he bought for £20,000)

Whinger's children: The house is now worth £200k. And our beloved parent only got £20k from the bank. So basically, they've made a killing and we've lost our inheritance.

QED: Banks must be twats

1 comment:

No one Really said...

I concur with you Mikey: Banks are twats