It looks like Spring has actually arrived today, all of the signs are there. It's not the obvious ones I look out for though, you can ignore the sound of lawn-mowers, the sight of Swallows dancing merrily in the air, the one thing that signals spring to me is the start of the great Chav mating ritual.
Throughout every council estate in the land people start to gather at front doors, a cup of tea and fag for the lady, can of Carling for the boys, Stella I'll-Twat-Ya for the men and not forgetting the Blue Wicked for the young uns. Good on them, without this annual ceremony how else would affairs start between neighbours and the 13 year old from next door get pregnant? It's one of the last great British institutions and I think we should all fight to protect it.
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