Friday, May 25, 2007

Bring it on!

Looks like there are exciting times ahead for the Manx Lads, and I'm not talking about the large influx of hairy ladies due for the TT. Today is the last day of "9 to 5" work for 2 more members of this blog. So a quick count on the fingers reveals that on..tw..none of us have what you'd call a normal job.

Mikey walks away from a very well paid, interesting job doing something that he loves to earn a pittance as a self employed fool. Well I think the first part was true anyway. He'll be fine and no doubt raking the cash in in no time.

Kingster leaves the exciting and very busy life of IT Management within the dodgy captive insurance market to go and do something more meaningful like joining a one-man-band IT company. Again there is no doubt at all that after the clients get to know him he'll soon be the talk of the town and surely making a mint.

So that's it lads, heads up, shit or bust, best foot forward, no retreat, no surrender, THIS IS SPARTA (All be it a much wetter Sparta, with no food in the shops, god bless the TT!)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Are the British media the worst in the world?

First of all I'd like to say that I'd like nothing more than to have that little girl returned back to her mum and dad unharmed, that's what everybody wants right? I'm not going go on about what I think of her parents parenting skills, enough to say that I've never left a young child in my care alone whilst I left a building for 5 minutes ,let alone going out to dinner. We should be able to do lots of things in life but pretending the the multi-tude of sick fuckers out there don't exist is at best ignorant.

However, ignoring the fact that we would all like to see her brought home, the whole thing has been turned into a great big sickening media circus. GMTV and the newspapers must have been rubbing their hands when the news broke as they all jumped on the me-too band-wagon and rushed to Portugal. "OUR reporter live from Portugal...", how many times have you heard that in the last 3 weeks? You can tell it's the British media as well:-

Of course the foreign Police are shit compared to us
Of course the foreign Police are withholding information by not giving us our headlines
Of course anyone even mentioned is guilty
Of course "WE" fingered the "guilty" parties
Of course we need to hear a different story every day from some obscure friend or relative who in reality has probably spoke to the family once in the past 4 years

And what the British media start we all follow. Posters everywhere, official and unofficial websites, A CHARITY, ASCII Images of Maddy on all over MySpace with "Click Me" To Bring Maddy Home buttons (How do people think that a picture made up of numbers and letters is going to help?). Where the hell does it all end, luckily the parents had some free tips this morning as Max Clifford was on with some advice on how to manage their marketing campaign. I'm assuming we'll be able to get "Bring Her Home" brand toilet paper soon so that we can't take a dump without thinking how lucky we are. Why, why, why? Pray if that is your inclination, hope for all hopes that she is found or returned safe but enough is enough. The parents will do everything to find their daughter, as we would, but in the end it's out of our and their control, not that the British media will ever let you think that.

Whilst you are all bowed down having some words with the almighty one you might want to spare a word or two for the family of these two. Sick things are being done all over the world, all of the time. My thoughts today are going to be with the hundreds of children kidnapped every week, with the thousands of people brutally murdered every day. I hope the British media wont mind me having one day not thinking about Maddy.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Leaving Drinks

It’s my leaving do tonight, and I’m apprehensively looking forward to it. In one way, going out drinking is always good, but I tend to get drunk very quickly and then lose control of my mouth, and good judgement.

At the very least I should have a decent Blog post come Monday.

Plus it will be nice to see how very popular I am at work. Since I handed in my notice, all I’ve been getting off everybody is “how are we going to cope without you”, I mean who is going to go on Pasty Run’s and change Light Bulb’s? These and many other mundane jobs are part of an IT Managers responsibility.

So if anyone reading this has nothing else on, you are more than welcome to join me @ Brendan O’Donnells Irish Pub on Castle Street, Douglas, Isle of Man from 5.00pm onwards.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Get paid to surf, are they serious?

I'm always on the look out for ways of making a dollar or 2 on the internet, some people would have you belive that is what I do for a living, it's no wonder I'm so bloody poor! Bill Gates I am not.

Anyway, just came across something that I thought was worth sharing, Agloco. It's a new startup that is going to pay you for surfing the internet! The idea is that the large social networks like UTube, MySpace are worth billions in advertising alone, but only to the company owners, not the people who actually provide the content! This new company is to be 100% user owned, in a nutshell you get shares in the company depending on how much time your surf, up to a maximum of 5 hours a month. The company makes it's money by serving PPC ads in the same way that Google pays AOL for using its ads. Any profit is then shared amongst the shareholders, you and me, woo hoo! There are also other ways of making money with it but I couldn't be arsed reading that far. You can join up by going to Agloco, it literally only takes a minute and is completely harmless.

The real trick is to get other users to sign-up, as the more users you refer the larger your share in the company becomes. Simple really. Once you've signed up you'll be given an url like
http://www.agloco.com/r/BBDW0343 which you can use to refer new users, just remember to change BBDW0343 with your referal code.

Just in case you're thinking this is some sort of joke, the same company tried something similar back in 1999-2000. Instead of shares they paid people directly and a quite few people made a shit load of money out of it. With social networking and the number of web users these days you've got very little to lose for 5 hours a month browsing with a little bar open at the bottom of your screen.

Right lads, I expect everybody to sign up so get to it.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Maybe we are Aliens?

Was on my favourite no.21 scum bus this morning, in order to block out the non-stop "fucking", "cunting", "wankering" and conversations on the "taste" of blow-jobs by the local 10 and 11 year olds I let my mind wander onto other things.

Life heh? What's it all about? I got thinking about us, not me personally but us, humans, mankind (and not the dodgy fat boy WWF bloke) . What the hell are we doing to this planet? Just by our actions to date we deserve nothing more than extinction, we don't fit in here at all.

Lets startwith the environment, the environment changes, that's what it does. However evolution dictates that the animals adapt, change, hell we evolve to suite the environment around us. Not humans though, we in a unique style all of our own change the environment to suite ourselves. We don't like hills, flatten them! We need more water, flood everything in site. I bet the Dolphins and Monkeys didn't have a word for "destruction" until we came along. There are obviously much grander examples of how we alter the environment for our own gains, we ALL know about them.

Secondly, our children. Animals have this sort of automatic population control. Where the environment and cirumstances can not support a large population 2 things happen, the mortality rate increases and the birth rate drops. Animals start to think "Fuck me, I can't feed myself let alone a family, best not knock out any more kids then". Humans on the other hand seem to go the other way, there's no food so lets fuck like bunnies. Never mind how we feed, shelter, nurture them, that's somebody elses problem isn't it? Not only that but boredom is a viable excuse for it, are we all mental? Going back to the no.21 bus, a large percentage of those kids were born to (single) parents who have no way of supporting themselves let alone the kids they've unleashed on us all. We'll all make sure that they have a way and means to survive, no matter how much their own disregard for themselves and their kids. Our collective social consience wouldn't let it be any other way, the human race isn't about survival, it's about growth at any cost and that just doesn't sit with anything else on this planet. Well, other than one , bacteria, bacteria consumes it's host at all costs, eventualy bringing about the death of itself. So what are we, bacteria or aliens? Or alien bacteria?

Just a thought.

Friday, May 11, 2007

BBQ - the case against prior planning!

Me and the vivacious B have just bought a house in Douglas - a nice old towny-house (pluses include plenty of rooms for the girls, a 'cave' for me - downsides ' it's a cold, cold house, obviously haunted with the freezing patches that no amount of heat will warm). So to have everyone round to have a gander at the house, I arranged a BBQ so that friends and family could have a gander, chug some brewski's, throw a shrimp or two onna barbie. etc, etc.

So date was set - and as luck would have it the BBQ day fell on the sole rainy day of the glorious recent weather. So with a slight change of plans we had an indoor barbie, Burgers and hotdogs aplenty, enough pop and sweets to hype up the kids and keep them ticking over til the late hours, while the Barlows and the Fergie's and oursleves sat around, drinking our body weight in booze, and putting the world to rights.

It was a great day, despite (or maybe because of) the rainy weather. B having to retire early through drunken debauchery, whilst people started leaving (stumbling) out of the door around 11 pm. Thanks one and all who could make it - and for the next, which will be measles free (the King's), no outlaw troubles (the Rowe's), and not currently teching it up in India!(the Bullough's).

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Freedom!

Well, I did it.

I Jumped. I Leapt. I...er...hold on, let me start up my thesaurus....

...strangely, it suggested "shoot up"

Yes, I quit my job with no formal destination in mind and will soon be shooting up.

So I would like to take this opportunity to say "Mand ribber moot abnot".

In other news:
"Leapt" really is a funny looking word.
"Charity" isn't actually a swear word.

Internet Fame

Is there any bigger accolade than being chosen out of all the entries submitted, as the winner of the Steve Wright in the Afternoon’s “Webcam of the Day.”

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/wright/webcam.html

Well Done Paulie B….




Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Laughter: the best medicine*

*apart from medicine

Want to have a really good laugh?

Listen to a joke.

They make me laugh. Not all of them, but a lot of them. Usually, I laugh right at the end, but sometimes I think I know what the end is going to be before it gets there and I will laugh quite a bit before. (Note: I seldom laugh at the start)

Some jokes make me laugh more than others. I think it's just one of those things.


If jokes aren't your thing, but you'd still like to laugh; try drugs. Some are better than others. And some can really make you laugh - "how much" you ask? A lot.

Drugs are generally more expensive than jokes. Drugs can cost at least a pound. Some cost two. On the plus side, you can sell any of the drugs you don't use. Whereas a joke, if not used immediately, will just disappear into thin air.


I don't want you to think that these are the only two routes to laughter.

Tickling is great. In fact, I'd say for reliability and cost effectiveness, tickling is the way to go.

Tickling ALWAYS works. Even if you were being raped or slashed with a knife, if the culprit were to stop and give you a good rib-tickling, I bet you'd still laugh (even if still moaning with pain/anguish).

I bet a joke wouldn't work in that situation. Or even drugs.

Regards

Mike 'Malibu' Organiser

Dodgy Career Path No.2

Leading on from Paulie B’s post yesterday it lead me to try and think of all the jobs I’ve had.

Deckchair attendant Douglas Prom
Shop Assistant
Dishwasher
Toast Maker
Kitchen Porter
Starters Chef Assistant
Porter
Handy Man at Shaving brush Factory
Sprouts, Oranges, Carrots Packager
Army Air Corp Soldier
Outdoor Pursuits Instructor
Doorman (Many occasions)
Delivery Driver
Civil Servant (3 or 4 times)
Meat Packer in North Wales (8pm -8am)
Various IT jobs (far too many different employers to remember)
Landscape Gardener
Barman (on many occasions)
Brick Labourer
Security Company Director (IOMSA)

I’m sure there are a couple missing, but that’s the main ones.

I also once went for a Delivery Boy (I was 28 or so, so it was a stretch) job in Sydney Australia, but my plan to work without a work permit (I was too old to get one) didn’t exactly work. I told the Job centre I would bring it to the Interview, and I told the chick interviewing me that I had shown it to Job Centre. Anyway, she rang up to say I had the Job and could I bring the work permit with me on my first day… Doh!