Wednesday, January 23, 2008

2 Things That Have Really Pissed Me Off Already Today

1. The number of Ambulances/Police that go flying past our house between 7:30 and 8:00. I don't know what it is about people who live in the south of the Isle of Man but they all seem fucking incapable of using roads. They're either crashing into each other, trees, running somebody over or being run over. At least 3 times each and every fucking week we have the full lights and sirens convoy heading south to rescue yet another thick as fuck shit for brains. It's not like the roads in that part of the island are any worse than anywhere else, for fucks sake compared to the mountain road that drive should be a walk in the park, yet most mornings some idiot crashes. When I rule the world the first thing I'm going to do is rip up all the roads south of the Mount Murray and turn them into cycle paths. People from Castletown, Port Erin, Port St Mary can't be trusted with roads and cars so lets see how they get on with bikes. No doubt they'll still be crashing but with any luck it will be at such a low speed that they won't need a trip to hospital.

2. Lollypop Men/Women/Weirdos/Aliens that jump out in the middle of the road like day-glo ninjs to help grown people cross. I've got nothing against lollypop people, it's actually quite reassuring as a parent to know that they are there by most schools to help your kids cross the road. What I don't understand though is why they feel the need to help adults? If one offered to help me I'd take it as an insult "What, you think I can't cross a road by myself?" If you're the sort of grown person that goes and stands next to the lollypop person waiting to be crossed then you need fucking shooting. If by a certain age you are incapable of crossing a road on your own then being put down and getting you out of the gene pool as soon as possible is the only solution.

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