Monday, December 22, 2008

Thank Fuck For That

Daughter does ballroom dancing. Wife is a huge ballroom fan. Queue 3 months of having that uber shite Strictly program on TV every single bastard night.

In a bit of parent child bonding I sat through the final on Saturday night and there were a few things I noticed.

1. The winner, Tom Somebody. What a smug twat. No really, I don't think I've ever seen anybody more smug. He couldn't have been smugger if he'd been born in the small town of Smugville in the county of Smugden in the country of Smugmania. Not only that but he was by far the worst dancer (I assume that is at least part of this program?). I have it on good authority that at least 3 of the girls and another one of the lads were significantly better than him throughout the whole thing. Certainly on the night the 2 girls seemed to be much better than Mr Smug. The judges and the experts around me said so. What the hell did the voting female public see in him? I understand that he doesn't have a competing vagina and that automatically makes him a vote for any girl 20-30 years old but seriously, come on?! Is it really that hard to vote for another girl?

2. Fred and Ginge. How many references can you have to Fred and Ginger in one program, surely Saturday night set some sort of record? It turns out that Tom The Twat has always wanted to be like Fred Astaire. He's also been dance trained. I'm beginning to smell something funny here.

3. Finally it all becomes clear. Mr Smug is actually an unemployed BBC actor, Strictly Shite seems to be on its last legs. The BBC will be looking for a new dance orientated Saturday night program soon (seeing as how it's the only program in their books with any viewer rating). Who better to host it than the UK's very own new Fred Astaire who also just happens to have just won Strictly? It could only possibly be better if he'd just got married (which got no coverage right, wasn't even mentioned?), a good wholesome Saturday night TV presenter. We give you, Mr Tom Chambers.

4. From looking at Lisa's partners face I'd say he worked this out a bit quicker than me. He looks like he could handle himself (for a puffy dancer), hopefully he'll man up and go and knock the crap out of Mr Tom "Smug" Chambers for wasting months of his life teaching somebody to dance who had no chance of winning because the BBC already knew who was going to win from day one. The only chance the judges had to put a spanner in the works the bosses just by-passed the dance off. Nice and subtle boys.

So that was about it. Basically another reality show of rigging and bullshit designed to do nothing more that rape people for phone money. 3 months of it. Even worse we'll now be seeing that smug fucker on every BBC program that they have the opportunity to put him on. Yet another reason not to pay a license fee.

Edit - And just to show how humble in winning the man is:-

"Chambers meanwhile believes he won because he was more of an entertainer than a dancer."

Ahh, so blubbering every 30 seconds about how lucky you are to be married is now entertainment you fucktard? No you smarmy waste of oxygen you won because MOST women don't like other women.

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