Friday, October 23, 2009

How To Rescue The Isle of Man From The VAT Shortfall

It's headless chicken time on the rock. Government finances have just been shafted by our bigger, tougher neighbour and now it's "tough times ahead". In all the doom and gloom though people are forgetting about one thing,no, not Investing - I'm talking about the internet.

The Department of Trade and Industry have got us all covered, so no need to panic people! You see all we need to do is setup home businesses doing thing like...I dunno maybe making homemade greetings cards or painting stones and then via the power of the portal we can sell them to people all around the world. Even people in France have the internet, crisis, we'll make a killing? The Isle of Man could become the cottage industry centre of the world, all powered by Venda, it will be awesome.

So for anyone who finds themselves in financial shit creek because of what's going on my advice is pickup some stones (we have plenty), buy some paint and get cracking. Tough times my ass, is all we need.

Friday, October 16, 2009

How Not To Deal With Debt Part 2

Do not spent £100 on a pillow. Even better, don't buy 2.

Monday, October 12, 2009

How Not To Deal With Debt

1. Do not borrow even more money, surely that's just common sense?

2. Do not start selling of what you've bought for a fraction of its value

Anybody want to copy Labour in?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Ukraine vs England - Not On TV

Ukraine vs England is on Saturday. The nation that invented the game, has the buzz from early World Cup qualification and is generally regarded as one of the most football mad countries in the world doesn't get to watch their national teams latest world cup qualifier live on TV? That's seriously screwed up. It's bad enough when only pay per view channels get to show the national team but to not show it at all? Mental.

What's even worse is if you want to watch the match online you're looking at a one of price of £4.99 up until Wednesday I think, and then a piss taking'ly marvelous £9.99 after that. £9.99 for a single online streamed game! So what will happen is that a load of people will either forget or pray that something will happen to show the game on TV and end up desperate on Saturday and pay £9.99. Except there is a flaw in the plan of the schemers behind this, the online bookie Bet365 also have the rights to show the game and signing up with them is free. So it may not be as good as watching it from the comfort of your sofa on a large TV but at least if you're having to watch it online you can do it for free, just sign up at Bet365.

Note:- I've just been contacted by the company running this game and have been asked to promote it - for a price. It looks like I've made a massive mistake here, it's not £9.99 they are going to charge but actually £11.99! Yes, el-ev-en pounds and 99 pence to watch Ukraine vs England online. Not in 3D, not in HD, not an actual ticket to the game but to watch the game streamed over the net. Jesus H Christ, anybody paying that is stupid, anybody paying that when Bet365 are showing the game for free is clearly a mental!

Monday, October 05, 2009

People Who Pick Up Dog Shit

Was on the bus this morning and as we were heading up the hill we happened to go past some woman walking her dog. That's not quite right, cos at that point she wasn't so much walking the dog as fondling its shit. What I'm wondering here is what is the correct response to this? On the bus it looked like 90% of people diverted their gaze to straight ahead and locked it that way. The other 10% continued to stare out the window at the lady playing play-dough with turd. What are you supposed to do?

I should point out that I applaud people who love their animals enough to walk around after them picking up crap. Its reason enough for me to never own a dog. It's certainly a lot better than the other filthy bastards who just leave their dogs to shit everywhere for us to walk in. The Isle of Man used to be some sort of dog shit capital but it has gotten much better, far from perfect but better. It's know...the whole picking up shit thing with your hands...with only a thin piece of plastic for protection. Doing it can't be great, watching somebody else isn't great either. Think I'll stick with being a diverter.