Thursday, September 29, 2011


There have been quite a few polls done in Germany recently to try and ascertain what the general view is on Germany increasing its contribution to the European bail out fund. The average* result has been somewhere between 60% and 70% of Germans don't want to put more money in the pot to prop up corrupt bullshitting governments.

The vote in the German parliament was a slightly different matter:- 523 in favour, 85 against, 3 abstained

Remember that those people voting have been voted in to REPRESENT THE GERMAN PEOPLE in a democratic way. This is the democracy that everybody is so proud off and that Americans get so uppity about every time a country veers away from its path? Ask yourself who is answering to who?

And in related news it's election day on the Isle of Man, we stand on the edge of a cliff and the only thing stopping us falling is if people can be brave enough to vote for ideas and policies and not their "mate" or somebody whose helped a "mate". Basically we're screwed.

*from what I've seen

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Working From Home Is Like Living In Space

....nobody can hear you scream!

And on that note I'm off to find something better to do today than looking at this stupid fucking screen.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Fat Bastard

As we get older we all like to think that were ageing well don't we? I know I do, for somebody in their 30's I'm no Ryan Giggs but I'm doing alright (I'm not chasing reality stars half my age like a dog with 2 dicks so I figure a little bit of slide is OK). I'm not a massive eater, or a big drinker, my body fat percentage is around the 17% mark, not great but good enough...and this is how I see myself...middle of the road.

It's amazing how what we perceive and what others see can be so different though. A bit like when you're looking at photographs and don't even recognise yourself, "Who the fuck is that mong?" It's not very often we get a totally unbiased view of what we're really like but today I got a beauty.

In the gym class and the instructor decides were going to do some intervals on a treadmill. She's looking at each of her budding students with a sincere intensity, determined to pick the level that she thinks will really push each and every one of us. It comes to my turn..."TEN!" Ten what? 10 kph, that's the running speed which she HONESTLY thinks is going to push me. 10kph for 30 seconds. To be fair at the time I didn't know if this was good or bad but during the warm-up I became obsessed with doing some mental arithmetic. Back in the day I'd do an average 200m in about 25-26 seconds but lets say I lope around in 30 seconds, we've got to allow for some ageing here. That means 400 metres in a minute (still slow) or 5 minutes to do 2000 metres. That's 12 kilometers in 30 minutes or 24kph. And the perception is I'll struggle at 10, remember it's only for 30 seconds. Really? Really fucking really? Do I really look that fat that people think I'm incapable of moving quicker than 10kph in short bursts? Fuck de fuckidy hell.

Anyway I did it, I set it at 10 and I ran. I say ran, it was more of a slouching shuffle, I was tempted to stick it up to 20 just to make the point, to who I'm not sure, but in the end I thought bollocks to it and ran at 10. But that's not the point, people think I'm fat! I'm off to eat a family sized fruit and nut then cry.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Manx Economy - For Simple People

I've been doing everything I can to avoid the local media in the run up to the Manx general election, there's only so many regurgitated press releases I can take. But now it's started to find its way into the national press I have caught a few bits and pieces and it amazes me how little understanding there actually is of the current situation on the Isle of Man. Here's my simple guide for simple me. Think of the island as a home:-

In the good old days our home had a family income of £30,000 a year, this was very good, our little family was very happy. Of this £30k we spent about £27k on living and the rest went into a savings account. Aren't we good?

Then the world changed, we all had to take a pay cut and the family income dropped from £30,000 a year to about £20,000 a year. Bad? Yes. But not the end of the world because we could tighten our belts, we could reduce that £27,000 that we spend and besides we had £40,000 in our savings account. No need to panic, or so you'd think?

However when the times were good we weren't spending our money on one off things, like a nice big TV :) Instead we decided to commit our self to long term payments, we hired a cook, a cleaner and a gardener, it's not like a house our size really needed them but hell the money was there so why not? They were our friends and they needed jobs. We put them on generous contracts content that the world would never change. Whilst we were at it we decided to have an extension built and borrowed the money to do this. A bigger mortgage, no problem for us because the world would never change? In the end when all was added up of that £27,000 we were spending each year almost all of it was monthly direct debits that we just can't get out of easily. We are committed. OK so we might be coming up short but we STILL have our savings of £40,000 to see us through the tough times, who knows, maybe we'll get a pay rise in the next few years? Maybe.

Except, and this is the real bugger, we might have £40,000 in our savings account now but we also owe £60,000 on our mortgage. We forgot about that, and the interest rate on our mortgage means that the amount we owe is getting bigger each year!

So what do we do? Do we sack our friends and not only risk upsetting them but also being taken to court? Do we go to our boss and ask for a pay rise, in a competitive market where other people are prepared to do our jobs for less than us? We might find ourselves getting let go? There is no easy answer, just a massive fucking mess. It's not that we didn't save money, it's that we spent too much and that's a really horrible habit to break.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Three Coats

How the fuck is it even possible for somebody who only goes out at most half a dozen times a year to lose THREE coats by the beginning of September?