Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Yet another person handed in their notice at work today, which makes three for the month.
If I had got my job, it would be four. I’m sure you all could have worked that out for yourselves….
Anyhoo, on the plus side, even less work for me, more leaving party’s to attend, and come Bonus time next March, I might even get something….
Though I doubt it.
The latest Version of the excellent Web Browser Firefox is now available.
Download it and see what the fuss is about, once you’ve tabbed and surfed, you may never open a new window again…..
It’s the Dog Bollocks.
The Cat’s pyjamas’
The Bee’s Knees
The Beetles Bonnet
Do you know what my favourite thing about Christmas is, apart from Christmas cake and Christmas pudding? Gluwein.
I love the smell and taste of it.
When I was in living in Germany on the Queens Service, on freezing frosty and snowy days, I would be walking down the main Deutsche Strasse, and there would be all these little carts all over the place. All you could smell is this sweet smelling aroma. It was heaven.
I might start my own Gluwein Cart in Strand Street…
Roll on Christmas
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Now before you get the wrong end of the stick I am not in any way saying Bullying is a good thing. Not at all, in fact, I hate bullies.
What I’m about to say is, is that Bullying has its place in the Armed Forces…
You cannot apply the same standards used in School’s and Civvy Street, to the Armed Forces. It just cannot be done. They are very different worlds, when it comes down to it, Army life is literally a matter of Life or Death, and you need to know everything there is to know about the person next to you. You have to have shared something, something more than an aptitude test. You have to know what their’s and your limits are.
So all I’m saying is, let them get on with it behind closed doors, if the individual involved doesn’t like it, then they can leave at any time they want.
Obviously, I am not advocating severe beatings, and life threatening situations, or racism. I am just saying the Army is tough, and they need tough people.
The British Army's ethos is very different from other European armies. In Germany, the culture within the army is of "citizens in uniform", a regime where long hair and other manifest signs of individualism are permitted.
Major Charles Hayman, editor of Jane's World Armies, say’s the difference in training culture in the British Army was reflected in its fighting ability.
"The training regime here is very, very different from what it is in the rest of Europe. In some countries, the training is very, very low standard. The soldiers are not fit for war. I have been appalled. There are very few armies that still train to fight a war. It has to be tough because wars are nasty and brutal. That sort of training is completely at odds with the sort of society we actually live in."
The British Army is the best fighting Force in the World, bar none….
They are that way, for a reason.
I actually went for a job interview yesterday. I was in two minds whether to apply for it in the first place, as it was a drop in wages, but at the last minute I thought, Why not? Let’s see what happens.
So I applied and got an interview. I think my interview technique is “special”, basically I didn’t really care if I got the job or not, and so was very very relaxed and made a lot of very funny jokes all the way through.
Anyhoo, the upshot was that although they liked me, I have no formal IT qualifications and so they went with a fella that did.
I was a little upset, as rejection isn’t nice, even if I wasn’t actually bothered about the job. It’s not great when people turn you down.
But what really got me depressed was the fact I was looking forward to a Month off Work being paid.
You see, in IT they tend to ask you to leave the premises as soon as you hand your notice in. Just in case you do something nasty to their system’s I suppose. However, if you were going to do that, you would do it and then hand your notice in.
Anyhoo, I was looking forward to telling the new employers that I would have to do 4 weeks notice, then being told by my current employer that I would have to leave immediately and that I would be paid my notice.
I would then have Merry Xmas off and start a new job in the New Year..
But the bastards didn’t want me….
I’m ashamed to say so, but I love this programme. At least I have really enjoyed it in the past. Unlike Big Brother, technically you know the people before the show starts and so you have an idea of who you are going to hope does well.
Plus it’s only on for an hour each night for 2 weeks.
Alas this year, there was no-one that I had any affinity for and so didn’t think I would like it as much. And therefore wasn’t looking forward to it as much.
But thanks to Ant & Dec and clever editing, I have once again fallen for it.
I hope Jimmy Osmond wins, with Carol Thatcher and Sid Owen as runners up. Jimmy is just such a nice fella, and Carol is a scream, and Sid is another stand up bloke. Did you see him doing the bungee thing getting the chest? Laugh? By Christ I did.
Although I can’t stand David Dickinson and Bobby Ball… they do my head in.
The only down to the show so far, is that we haven’t seen enough of Jenny Frost in her swimsuit or even topless….. Or Kimberly Davies naked… That’s what the show needs as the Celeb’s aren’t what you would call A list.
Whilst I have your attention, the only thing that get’s my goat is that they all seem to get pissed every night. Surely that’s not right? Isn’t it meant to be tough in there?
Friday, November 25, 2005
I have a friend (not really, more of a friend of a friend) who I rented my flat too. He defaulted one months rent, I suspected nasty things happening in the property gave him notice and he defaulted the final month (‘natch). After paying off the utility bills he finally ended up owing me over £1200. After being ‘managed’ for a few months, lots of promises to pay, standing orders yada, yada, yada, he has disappeared from the radar and I am still without a cent.
Ok – so far so obvious. Valuable lesson this late in life etc, and the debt will not be going away (whatever excuses I hear from third parties). I don’t work so that some prick spends my cash.
However, met with a couple of mates for a lunchtime munch and the subject came up. All I need was to have a good old rant and rage and see a few nodding heads and grunts of "Thats terrible" "I know what you mean" "Poor you" etc etc. Instead, (and you know it’s going to be patronising when you hear the words ‘If I can be Devil’s Advocate’) I get a lecture of what you should do and why you shouldn't let it bother you - - and yes it’s crap what he’s done and proceed to give smugly opinions!!!
I mean - for Gods sake - just listen and agree and join in!! Lets rip the world to shreds, pour a few beers down, dust ourselves off and go about our way - feeling more justified dignified and quelled!! Jeepers!
And so another late in life hits me square on the noggin!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
My god what a little beauty this function is. Basically you can a have a huge load of text, and then all you do is select all the text, and then choose AutoSummarize from the Tools drop down menu.
You then choose how you want the summarization, i.e. a single paragraph at the start, or highlighted sentences etc.
Then you choose want percentage of the whole text you want summarizing, and you can even move the little slide bar back and forth.
It’s cooler than a Paris Hilton Nude Sex Tape. Honest.
But about as useful, in the real world.
If anyone else knows of cool tips and tricks and functions in MS Office 2003, please give me a shout.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Forget the starving kids in Africa, or the homeless people in Pakistan, at least for a while.
It’s time that we thought about “Charity Begins at Home”.
It fact my home.
As you know from previous post, I want/need/require a new HD TV to enjoy the next generation of High Definition Gaming on my Xbox 360.
I am also a big movie fan and will really enjoy watching the latest Block Busters on a huge HDTV.
I have after much thought and careful consideration, settled on the Panasonic TH-37PV500CAB.
I have gone for this model for the following reasons:
- It looks sexy as hell
- Plasma screens work best in low light (i.e. my living room)
- Plasma screens are better at showing motion on the screen (i.e. fast moving games, movies and sport)
- Plasma screens are much better at producing dark images (i.e. we watch a lot of horror/scary movies which are generally dark in nature)
So that settled, I just need to find £2500 to purchase my dream TV.
That’s where you lot come in, I am hoping to get you to sponsor my TV. It has a resolution of 737,280 pixels. If I can get Two Thousand people at £295, you all get 295 pixels of my new TV. That’s just a pound a pixel, what a bargain.
Each month you’ll receive an email of the DVD’s I’ve watched, and the Xbox games I’ve played, and up to 3 pictures of various Rugby games that have been viewed.
So please email me with you bank account details.
Give till it Hurts…
My Gypsy Brother and his wife live one day to the next, or so it appears to the casual outsider.
They both are sales people of great renown in their particular field. They flit from Job to Job on what seems an almost daily basis. Not only from Job to Job, but often from Country to Country.
Everywhere they lay their hat; we keep thinking that is brilliant, as we’ll book the flights for the next holiday and then just stay with them.
On paper in sounds that simple, a cheap holiday every year…..
In reality, it is a lot different.
He rings up and say’s that they’ve moved Jobs and are no working in Paris. We then think right, that’s where next Summer’s holiday is. If we book now, we’ll get cheap flights.
Two months later, he ring’s up and say’s, “You haven’t booked those flight’s have you?” “Why?” I enquire. “We’ll we have moved jobs again and are now in Spain….
So where is he next? Bali, Indonesia.
Do you know how much for flights for 2 Adults, 3 kids return to Bali, from Ronaldsway, Isle of Man?
Therefore, I could book the flights (if I had the money) and by the time we get there, he’ll be in Dubai….
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
That wasn't much of a rant really was it? Well......i've just had a bastard stinker of a day in work, and i'm pissed, If I had a cat it would be dead, luckily enough we only have fish and not even i'm stupid enough to kick the 120 litre fish tank in our front room.
I work in an office, it's quite a big office (about 15 people in my immediate area). Of these 15 or so people only I and myself do my work (one of my work buddies covers when i'm not there, but only when i'm not there). My work MUST be done all day, every day. Most other people have shared work. Work is split into four seperate areas (accounts, payables, receivables, payroll), I do bits of the first 3 ONLY, anything that falls under those three headings and i'm quite flexible. There are about 10 people who do payroll, 4 of those doing nothing else but payroll. They are a dedicated payroll team. Hope this all makes sense, me on my own doing my work with all these other people providing cover for each other doing payroll. I have nothing personally against any of the people in my office, really I haven't, professionaly, thats a different matter...
So today the boss grabs a chair and pulls up to my desk. I know enough to know i'm about to be asked to do something else, again. At this point I should add that i'm always busy, at least 40 hours a week busy. Some days I don't get time to have a shit. Anyway, he is working on "optimizing" a work process and needs me to do something. Already i'm a bit pissed, at this point I should mention that most (not all) of the other people in my office are not that busy (yes, I know everybody says that, but seriously these girls are reading magazines and talking at least half the day). He can see i'm getting annoyed so decides to put me out of my misery "What we (I) want you to do is go up the road pack up the payslips and post them out directly rather than have the post office do it". Hmmm, this sounds very much like payroll i'm thinking (the word payslip was the givaway). In fact, sod thinking, I ask "Why not get some of these other lazy gits get of their asses and do it?" Of course they are far too busy to be burdened with extra work, funnily enough no matter how many magazines they read, how much of the day they spend gossiping, they are always too busy to do anything other than count their beans. I do feel sorry for the boss in a funny sort of way, he only needs to mention to one of the girls about doing something different (not even extra) and you would think that he has just asked them to pleasure themselves on a traffic cone for the entertainment of the office by the response he gets. After a few more questions the truth finally comes out, the reason I'm needed to do this is because there are a lot of pay slips (about 30 kilos), in a sack that needs moving from one office to another. It would take 3 women to carry this (so i'm told). So thats it then, i'm being penalised for being a man, who the hell do I complain to? Bloody women and their equal opportunities, there is no work in the office that i'm not capable of doing, yet they can be selective because they are all delicate little flowers. What a load of bollacks, pay cuts for the lot of them I say.
Seriously though, i'm a little mixed up here. I get paid a fair wage and it is in my nature to work hard for my employer. I could do it. On the other hand EVERYBODY else in the office gets paid more than me (by virtue of the fact they have hung around for 15 years, none are even remotely qualified) and is doing sweet FA most of the time, so why should I lower myself to doing yet another shitty job because they can't be bothered? Hopefully i'll have calmed down enough by tomorrow to have come up with a reasoned argument. My initial thought is that I should do it, get a back injury (very hard to disprove) and have a few weeks/months of sick catching up on my own website stuff. Now if only I was that dishonest!
I hate choice. It’s just too hard. It doesn’t make life simple.
Take my new TV, I have decided that come the New Year Sales I’m off to purchase a new HDTV to welcome in the New Year and be ready for the digital revolution. i.e. HD TV and Xbox 360 HD gaming.
So after extensive research on the Internet, I found the perfect TV for me.
The Panasonic TH-37PV500CAB, and what a beauty it is.
So yesterday, on my day off I visited the local Electrical shop to have a close look at my new baby.
Then what do I see, but a really good picture on the TV next to it.
Which turns out to be a Toshiba 37WLT58?
The Toshiba LCD, has a slightly shaper look than the Panasonic Plasma, but the Panasonic picture looks a “richer” in colour, if you know what I mean.
So I need advice on which to buy.
Picture Quality Rich & Colourful
Connections 1 x HDMI, 1 x PC/RGB, 3 x Scart
Looks/Aesthetics Not Good
Picture Quality Very Sharp
Connections 2 x HDMI,1 x PC/RGB, 3 x Scart
My first or initial choice was the Panasonic, which looks fantastic, with a rich and colourful picture. However, it costs an extra thousand, and only has one HDMI interface. All reviews say it’s the dog’s bollocks.
The new challenger is the LCD Toshiba, very sharp picture, is a grand cheaper, has an extra HDMI connection, but aesthetically speaking is relatively Ugly. No reviews out there yet,
I think I shall ignore the cost, as you can’t put a price on a good TV. I shall also ignore the Picture Quality as they both bring something to the Party. It therefore goes down to Aesthetics and connections (i.e. Future proof). Do I need 2 HDMI connections? I deffo need one for SKY HDTV, but then surely I’ll need one for HD DVD/ Blue Ray when they/it comes out…..
So which one…. I know which one I think I’m getting, but your input would be valuable.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Or is Mesothelioma a horrible skin condition?
Anyhoo - just thought I'd tap a response as it's been ages since the Manx Lads heard from me.
Fantasy Sex Books.
Not books on virtual sex, but fantasy books with Hero’s, Dark Magic, Ogre’s etc, but that have some steamy erotic parts.
We have only ever come across one such novel that had a Two Phallused Lizard taking a Witch in the doggy position (no really….), doing his own type of DP.
I’m sure it was integral to the plot at the time, and I look forward with amused interest as to how Peter Jackson will bring it to the big screen.
Anyway, it was just a thought.
I have my yearly work Appraisal on Tuesday, I say yearly but this is in fact the first “yearly” Appraisal I’ve had in the 2 ½ years I’ve been here.
What a load of bollocks.
I have a 14 page Self Appraisal form to complete before I sit down with the MD.
Fourteen Pages of Objectives, Competency Ratings (I have to rate myself on 11 different things, what on earth do thing think I’m going to give myself, derrr. I’ve ticked the top box on all of them), forthcoming Objectives etc…
It’s just all bollocks, total shitte, I don’t have the time for this, actually I have nothing but time, but I certainly don’t need this shit.
I hate these things, it’s HR gone mad.
Roll on Tuesday when I sit in front of my MD and just nod and grunt at whatever he says….
Is everyone still using today’s word: Mesothelioma
Come on say it after me: Mesothelioma, Mesothelioma, Mesothelioma.
That is all
“Apparently” if you stick a load of women on a Desert Island their monthly Lunar bleeding will synchronise. Apparently. So they say.
Well the same thing works with the more advance gender, the Male of the species. I work in an office with 20 lads, and I believe the same has happened to us.
Every day between 10.00 and 10.30, it is like a Ghost Town in the office. All the fella’s toddle off to do their morning business, i.e. take a Dump, or to be more refined, “Drop the Kids off at the Pool”.
Perhaps I should get a grant and study this phenomenon, mind you the “smell” (if in fact that is a strong enough word to describe it) that comes from the Ablution area, is not for the faint hearted, or weak kneed.
I shall end with the word of today: Mesothelioma
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Apparently they had the world in the palm of their hands. This time next year, we’ll all be millionaires. The product was good it’s it way. Good enough to get the initial investment.
So what did they do then with this money?
Why they decided not to “finish” the core technology and decided it’ll do. Then they employed a workforce of hundreds, 99% of which were Managers, Salesmen & Project Managers.
Which left 2/3 people in the good old Manx company to do the actual work.
Once this was in place, the Sales Team went out, not knowing what the actual technology was, and sold everything. They then came back and told the engineers what they had sold, and that it had to be ready “a week on Tuesday”.
Plus when I said “SOLD”, they didn’t actually ever make any money, well they did, as they were on £60,000 a year, but they didn’t actual generate any income I should say.
After 2/3 years of “Jam Tomorrow”, and each month yet another highly paid Manager being paid off, it was left to a hand full of core people, in a run down Victorian Townhouse to be left without being paid for 6 months.
Till one dark night, after a Coroners’ Asset seizing order had been served, a white van turned up to “spirit” the assets away.
The so called founder and MD or CEO was no where to been seen. You could find him, if you could be arsed to walk up the road, in his £500,000 cash paid Mansion, with his £50,000 car outside, but who could be bothered.
Up roar was heard in high places about Government money going missing, ONE MILLION QUID, whispers of the Fraud Squad being called in.
Meanwhile, the core workers, still never got paid, still never ever received any kind of apology for the shit they were put in.
The MD still walks around getting Government grants, and sleeps soundly, all be it, next to the Ugliest and Hairiest Woman on the Isle of Man.
Bitter Me….. Of course.
And the best thing is, they are all FREE…as my younger/older brother often says, “You can’t beat free!”
In fact check out all the cool Google stuff at these two sites
Anyhoo, back to the post.
Google’s latest free cool thing is a Website Analysis Tool. Did I mention it's free, as long as you have a Gmail account?
You sign up, and then copy and paste about 5 lines of java script onto your website.
Then you can log in and see all sorts of cool graphs and things… Actually it was all Greek to me; expect that the part that says 76.19% of all visitors to this site use IE and the rest use Firefox. You can even see graphs to show what Screen Resolution people use when viewing the site.
In case you were wondering:
- 1024x7687 76.19%
- 1280x1024 19.05%
- 800x600 4.76%
Anyhoo, sign up and join the fun. If you need a Gmail account just shout
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
We had a problem on this blog, in that it appeared fine in Mozilla Firefox, but in IE (Microsoft Internet Explorer) it didn’t.
What it did was push the right hand column all the way to the bottom of the page.
Do you know what it was?? Do you.
Now this is after the Web Page Professional amongst us, who literally had his own Web Design Company, blamed me and my posts, as I use the Blogger Word Plugin.
Well the problem was…… Width.
A couple of the Posts… (not mine) had extremely long URL’s in them that were technically longer than the allowed width. Firefox handled this but IE didn’t. As they were one long string, IE couldn’t wrap them, so it made the Right Hand Column start after them.
I simply, hid the lengthy URL behind a Hyperlink and everything is fine.
Yeah Me !
I have just been to the Sarnie shop to get a bite to eat. There were only two of us in the queue and the fella in front was being served.
There are 4 girls that work in the shop, and I am on saying hello terms with a couple of them, so I thought I’d be in and out in no time….
Was I bollocks?
The three other girls were stood out the back, but in plain view chatting, leaving the one girl to serve.
They even walked past a couple of times and said Hello, but then just carried on to the backroom chatting…
God I was steaming angry….
It just get’s my goat.
I was greeted with "Hi, how may I help you?". So far, so good.
I replied with "Yes, I was wondering if you sold replacement tweeters?"
Now I've had plenty of issues with Canadians not understanding plain English; you cannot believe how careful I am with my enunciation.
"Er, could you repeat that?" came his response.
I was in no hurry, so I repeated my question, a little slower this time.
"Er, tell you what, I'll put you through to the Warranty department" [click]
Warranty department I think. What the? But what the hell, phone calls are free in Kanadia.
Two minutes of awful music later
"Hi, how can I help you?" came a jolly Canadian voice.
I thought about my original question. Maybe it was too convoluted.
I went simple with "Do you sell replacement tweeters?"
"Tweeters?" he challenged.
"Er...yes" came my rejoinder.
"Er, I don't know what you mean" he said, clearly in some confusion.
"Tweeters. They go in speakers" I said calmly.
"No, I'm sorry, I don't think we carry those, have you tried Radio Shack (Tandy)?"
"Gaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp" I said, hoping against the odds this was his native tongue and might mean something to him.
Unreal. No, it really is amazing. Remember my blog entry about the guy in the Stationery store who offered to put Letter size paper in his fancy photocopier and reduce it to A4? Nice trick.
You can say what you like about the guys in Colebourns. They probably know 10% more about the audio world than a goat. In Candanda, the goats get the management positions.
p.s. The Canadian word for Tweeter is.....you guessed it....Tweeter.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
My voice shall be heard.
In closing, I found this humorous and prophetic warning to all those Dot Com Millionaire wanabies that write on this Blog.
And finally, an FAQ on Guinness, that everyone should read at least once.
I can’t wait to try the “Golden Cream”.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Anyhoo, my lesson...has anybody realised that we are in fact ALL driving incorrectly? We should be looking anywehere other than the direction in which we are travelling for most of the time and it is illegal go down a gear. You are supposed to coast to any form of junction in top gear with that clutch pedal firmly on the floor, WTF!
To be fair it all started of well, "You just drive around Mr B, we'll have a chat and i'll let you know what you should be doing?". OK with me, then, the first roundabout (this is a manx roundabout, otherwise known as a blob of white paint in the road), "left shoulder check", "left mirror", "mirror","what's coming from the right","left shoulder check, JUST A GLANCE", "mirror", at this point i'm ready for throwing up. For christs sake all I want to do is carry on straight ahead, I can see there is nothing coming from the right. I'm that busy looking in every other direction than that in which i'm heading that I almost rear end some poor sod in front of me. "How's about I just get us through here without hitting anything and then you tell me what I did wrong?", this was not put acrosss as a question at the time, I was feeling sick. "What would have happened if there would have been a bike on your left?" , obvisouly I would have seen it and he would have seen me, in fact if HE would have hit ME after I had signalled then i would assume he would have been in the wrong. Either way I would not have to check my mirrors 8 bastard times and risk hitting the car in front. If everybody just keeps an eye on what is in front of them then surely we would all be fine?
Once I got used to driving whilst looking in any direction other than forwards (I felt at times I was steering using the force) things settled down. After all I thought it's not my car and i'm not responsible so if I hit anybody your man next to me is firmly to blame. I trundled around just on the speed limit holding up queues of traffic and generally driving in a way that would have driven me mad in the past. I apologise both for Saturday and in advance for any further lessons I have to anybody else who happens to be on the road. I really really really don't want to have to drive like this but it is I am told the only way to pass the test. The end result of my 2 hour neck twisting endurance exercise was that I can drive fine and that I should be in for my test asap. I can't wait, once passed I can actually get back to driving, not bullshit learner driving, but proper real driving.
Once again, aoplogies to anybody stuck behind me on Saturday!!!
God (not that I believe in him but so the saying goes) gave us TWO ears and only ONE mouth.
Which means we should spend twice as much time listening, than talking?
However, he also gave us 10 fingers, which means, we are 10 times more likely to upset someone when we type something, then when we speak it.
I am returning to my silent persona, I shall no longer Blog and but I shall continue to read and keep my opinions to myself.
Good Bye once again.
In closing may I add in my defence?
Primary Characteristics of Aquarians
Positive Personality Traits
* Independent and intellectual
* Loyal and honest
* Original and inventive
* Can be intractable and contrary
* Can be unemotional/cold and detached
* Sometimes perverse and/or unpredictable
That is all.
Why oh why do I fucking bother?
I think one thing, people read what I think, and end up with either;
- A totally fucked up point of view on what I was trying to say.
- Taking parts out of contest, instead of looking at the whole thing as a complete picture.
- Putting their own personal bias/feelings/experience on my writing and then claiming that’s what I meant in the first place.
If you want your own opinion to be heard, write it yourself. Read mind and then forget it, it’s not meant to be earth shattering, or life changing. It’s just stuff. Not manna from the Gods. It’s drivel, time wasting poppycock.
I am just writing down shit to make the day go by, until it’s time to go home. I’m not trying to enlighten or even entertain. I am just wasting time…
And yes I am aware of the irony, that by typing this out and posting it, and am adding more fuel to the fire, and that people will take this the wrong way.
I live in a happy place 90% of the time, inside my head is a fun, and carefree world. I like it there; it is an innocent and untroubled nirvana. Just leave me to my happy thoughts, please.
So can everyone, leave me alone. PLEASE.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Every time I take a few days off sick, they send me an Absence form to complete and return. To date (2.5 years) I have failed to fill it in and return it, and have just deleted the email. I looked up on the company records how many official sick days I’ve had, and the answer is ZERO.
I can remember at least 6 I’ve had this year alone, so why on earth would I want to complete one of those sick forms? It’s official once those are returned they are put on your record…
My advice, don’t put anything is writing..
I have always been a huge believer in Fate, what will be will be.
I have never worried about the future as I can’t change my own destiny. There are probably two reasons for this; firstly it absolves me from any responsibility for my life or actions.
Secondly, most probably because I read too many Fantasy books. The one common theme in all these books is that the main character’s are all born for a reason, a path that they alone must follow to some greater good. That’s me that is, I am travelling a path that will take me to where I need to be, at the time I am meant to be there, and I should just sit back at enjoy the ride, and let life provide along the way.
To this end, as I said, I have never worried about the future at all, so much so I don’t even have a pension plan or savings. I did have a little thought the other day when I mentioned to the lads about cashing in my Endowment Policies for some Christmas cash, that perhaps I should start thinking about my family, my wife and children’s future, and then I remembered the story of what keeps my belief in fate rock solid.
Now my ex-wife and I never got on, literally never, we argued constantly and violently and more often than not at the bare minimum just ignored each other. We seldom had sex, why would I want to touch that skanky bitch.
Anyhoo, stay together we did, and a baby girl was born, McKenzie Gemma on the 10th June 2002, unfortunately she had an ill-formed heart and she was rushed to Alder Hey’s Childrens Hospital and had open heart surgery when she was 5 days old. Sadly, she never recovered and died in our arms, 6 days later after we agreed to stop her life support.
We argued even more after that, and yet, another child was born, Callum Robert.
Something like 3 or 4 months after he was born we finally spilt up and since then I have married a wonderful person and everyday with her is a blessing. The point is my ex and I hated each other, yet fate conspired to keep us together long enough to produce a child. I firmly believe there was a reason for that union, maybe Callum will grow up to score the winning try in the Rugby World Cup 2018, or maybe his grand child will eventually cure cancer. Who knows? I just know, it was all for a reason.
You might think I am mad, but who cares? That’s why I trundle through life, just going where the flow takes me, not worrying about anything. Only half listening to my mates get rich schemes, no ambition, no problems. Happy as Larry.
What goes around comes around.
Be nice to people, and it will come back to you eventually. I have had some low points, Gemma, and some extremely high points, Callum, Daniel & my Wife. All I know, is that what will be, will be.
Some might even call it my religion.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Excellent movie – thoroughly enjoyable piece of rough’n’ready sci-fi entertainment. Punching all the right buttons with humour, action, women with guns (and axes), space battles, nasty baddies, nastier goodies, snappy dialogue and gettable storyline.
Although a big budget affair, some scenes did seem to ‘leap’ where a little padding and explanatory ‘cut-to’s’ were called for. And they tried to slip in a few alterno-words to up it’s scifinessness. Small quibbles, though, from a thoroughly enjoyable film from Ross Whedon. Who, it has to be said, likes his chicks to fight in a dirty, slinky, bendy way. Some manly laugh out loud bits and some girly scream shocks.
It’s a Manx Lads double thumbs up recommendation from the rock.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
It’s impossible, I have tried under the following;
And all sorts of things, but I can’t find them anywhere.
I know where two Cobblers are in the Street, and one would assume they would have a phone.
So why aren’t they in the Yellow Pages.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
However, I have just been online and downloaded some movies showing the power of this new console (Ridge Racer and Amped). And to be honest, they just look like standard Xbox fare/fair/faire/fayre?
It's not looking promising.
On the plus side, at least we don't live in France.
Once upon a time, the only superpower in the world invaded one of the little rubbish countries (i.e. Afghanistan).
And one summer evening the Special Forces of this superpower surrounded a camp of scummy arabs and (when those arabs wouldn't jolly well surrender) they called in Artillery for a bit and then moved in.
In the ensuing melee, a very naughty 14 year old boy shot and killed a member of these 'very' Special Forces. The boy was himself shot (twice in the chest and lost an eye) but survived. However, that was his own fault for being in the country in which his family lived.
He was captured, imprisoned, refused legal council and mis-treated until he recently turned 18. Now, he's being tried as a War Criminal.
To add icing to the cake, the family of the Special Forces guy are suing the boys family. Why not, they're probably related to a rich arab somewhere along the line.
And they say Justice is dead?
However, there is a silver lining. As this boy was born in Canada and is therefore a Canadian citizen, our government has stepped in and....oh, who am I kidding? We've done nothing.
Look at these articles
Monday, November 07, 2005
I recommend you leave this place and head over immediately.
Mind you I’ve only read the last 3 entries and they were good, so good knows what the rest is like.
Come back and tell if you want.
Please Note: That I am not really interested in your thoughts, and seldom read the comments…..
I am slowly going crazy, I feel very much like Jack Nicholson in the Shinning, slowly going mad…. My whole day is spent looking busy, whereas I am just endlessly surfing the net.
It’s got to the state that I don’t even take in what I am reading. My eyes move left to right, and work their way down the page, but nothing goes in.
Plus, I am freezing….
My throat is killing me….
My back is aching……
I just want to go home..
FOR FUCK SAKE, I HATE MY JOB !!!
I can help nurse my poorly son, who also has a dose of Avian Influenza; obviously, none of the Women in the house (i.e. the wife) are affected as it only attacks complex highly developed organisms.
I do also have a very sore back, which is another reason to take a couple of days off.
Song Long Suckers…..
1 I have a restless nature but do crave to settle.
2 I am both a cat person and a dog person
3 I don’t have many good honest friends
4 And the friends I do have I am unworthy of
5 I’ve had over 20 jobs
6 My middle name is Schofield
7 Whilst I do like children, I have no kids or wife of my own. Therefore family is not a focus for me.
8 And you know what, I have no focus for life
9 I like writing, but am an unpublished wannabe
10 I am colourblind (slight)
11 I have seven tattoos
12 I’m a Sagittarius – and spookily predictable
13 My number one fave film is ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’
14 I’m clumsy. Both in word and act.
15 My first car was a Triumph Toledo
16 My last meal will consist of Goulash Soup starter, cheese-stuffed chicken w/ mashed potatoes, peas, gravy main course, and rice pudding with the skin left on for finshers.
17 I am a hopeless romantic, believe in love at first sight, but am learning to take that second look
18 I like the Trebuchet font
19 I keep giving ‘my stuff’ away.
20 I have two jokes that I come out with every Christmas. The same jokes. Every year. Without fail.
It’s popping in to kiss them goodnight when they are fast asleep.
When you see them lying there fast a bo bo’s, all innocent and sweet. You always (well I do) get a little lump in your throat.
Must be something to do with the fact that, you made that person (at least did all the hard work), and that, touch wood, up to now you are doing a pretty good job of keeping them safe, happy and healthy.
Big Up to all those caring parents out there.
And all those “parents” that hurt abuse or neglect their children, well hanging is too good for them.
Friday, November 04, 2005
With the impending arrival of my new Xbox 360 I needed a bigger model anyway to act as a media store for all my streaming media, that’s how I justified the destruction to myself. Seems a bit of a thin excuse now. One e-mail later and Paul was only on the job a few hours until I had a list of online shops selling bargain hard drives. After some hard thought, weighing up the pros and cons of each, I settled on.......the cheapest (by a whole £3). So I spend 15 minutes filling in forms, registering an account, confirming my account, verifying my order until eventually i get to the final part of my order to be greeted by something along the lines of:-
"You live in the Isle of Man; we're going to shaft you with postage, that'll be £20 extra please".
I'm a bit annoyed but figure what the hell I've got this far, at least with costly courier delivery it will be here in a day or two (3 at the very worst)? How wrong was I?
£28 BASTARD POSTAGE, NOW OVER ONE WEEK LATER AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR ANY SIGN OF MY VALUABLE PACKAGE! WANKERS.
Basically for those that don’t like ironing, you wack your wet shirt on the frame and it dry’s and irons the shirt in one go in a couple of minutes.
Excellent use of technology, however, the grand will be better spent on my new TV.
Did I mention my new TV?
I personally use it and enjoy it a lot more than IE. I particularly like the tabs option of opening new pages, it so much cleaner and easier to follow.
Apparently it is so good an idea that Microsoft have put “open in tabs” in the next IE version, IE 7.
Another thing with Firefox is the themes. Not that I really use it, but you can download loads of different skins to make you Browser look different. Or of course you can create your own skins as it is an open source application.
You can also get loads of Plugins that do various wonderful and exciting things. The only I use is a Weather Bar to show me the weather forecast for next five days… why I need it, I have no idea. This is the Isle of Man; it’s going to be rainy. I might as well just use permanent marker on my screen and draw rain clouds.
Anyhoo, my Doctor is the nicest man ever. I shit you not. He is a real old time Gent. An extremely affable chap. I always enjoy going to see him, no matter what the complaint.
However, there were a couple of things that really wound me up at today’s appointment. One wasn’t actually his fault, but the other was.
You see, computer keyboards are touch sensitive. You only have to brush them really to register you requested alpha or numerical symbol. My Doctor in his zeal to get my symptoms’ down on his system was banging each key as if he was at a Fair Ground Test your Strength machine. The force of each downward stroke was enough to break the back of the hardiest pack animal.
That was my first irritant. The second I suppose was out of his control.
Someone had scanned in the results of my last blood test at a wonky angle….
So when he pulled up the results on his system they were off by at least 30 Degrees. They were skew whiff. Isn’t that just so annoying? So there we are looking at this image and he didn’t seem fazed at all. I was screaming inside my head, “No, they aren’t straight. Delete the image and get them to scan it in properly, How can we read the content when we are fixated at the jaunty angle of the image.”
If it isn’t a Right Angle, it’s a Wrong Angle…
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Because of this cost cutting exercise, I have actually put up with holes in the bottom of both my shoes. However, today, after working to work on yet another rainy Manx day, I am at my breaking point. I have suffered all day with completely wet socks. Moreover, as the day has worn on, they have more and more got on my nerves. I really do believe I am developing “trench foot”.
The only option I have is to send, £40 on another pair of shoes, which seems silly to me as the uppers are fine and it is just the holes in the soles that are the problem.
That is until I found this
I just have to squeeze it in the holes and then it sets solid.
They started of with Age of Empires, god knows who introduced me to it, but it probably was young Ady. I remember playing this for hours on Al’s PC in the house we shared (Timmy’s House).
Then came, as you would expect, Age of Empires II. Yet again hours and hours were taken up with this little Time Thief. A quick 30 mins, would see you look up as the birds are just waking up and people off to work…. WTF… You would say, I’ve only been on it for a few minutes, when in reality, hours and hours had passed.
Plus with the advent of widely available internet use, you could fight with people over the net, or as we did on various computers around the house on our own little network.
Both of these Age of Empire games are based on actual Historical events, but to break the mould, they next brought out Age of Mythology. Which was just as addictive and time consuming as the previous ones? At this stage I was married and would sneak up stairs at every available opportunity to play. With Armies of Minators pitted against hoards of Centaurs, what a rush.
And finally after playing AOM over and over again, we have the latest edition. Age of Empires III. And as of 12.05pm this afternoon I am the proud owner of said game. I have forewarned the wife and kids, that I shall not be available for the next week. I shall sate myself at the Altar of Empires. I shall command, build and destroy nations… I shall be immersed for hours on end…..
One final note, being bored at work, I decided to download the Demo version to play on my Work PC to pass the day. Now remember this is a DEMO. How big do you think the Demo is to download…. 426 MB…. ½ a Gig…. WTF.
For years I’ve lived a double life.
In the day I do my job,
I ride the bus,
Roll up my sleeves with the hoi polloi.
But at night I live a life of exhilaration,
Of missed heartbeats and adrenaline,
And, if the truth be known,
A life of dubious virtue.
I won’t deny I’ve been engaged in violence,
Even indulged in it.
I have maimed and killed adversaries,
And not merely in self defence.
I have exhibited disregard for life,
And savoured every moment.
You may not think it to look at me,
But I have commanded armies,
And conquered worlds.
And though in achieving these things
I have set morality aside,
I have no regrets.
For though I’ve led a double life
At least I can say,
I have lived.
VOIP is the latest thing, well maybe not the latest thing, but it is a thing that more and more people are getting interested in. Even my own company is looking at moving over to a VOIP telephone network.
I’m interested in it for two reasons
- It’s something new. I like new stuff, it’s interesting and well frankly it’s new.
- It’s something to spend money on. I also like spending money. It’s what money is for, and spending money on something new is, well it’s the Dog’s Bollocks.
So that’s why I’m interested in VOIP.
So what’s my next step? Well I need to decide who is going to get the pleasure of my business. As far as I can see the main contenders are:
Seems to be the main contender with over 50 million people world wide that have downloaded the software. I also know one work colleague that uses this system to call his relatives back in Ireland.
Another system that I seem to remember testing once over a software system I used to test. I also know one person that uses this system.
Then there are many, many others including but not limited to:
And of course you can also use applications such as MSN Messenger, which has the added bonus of being able to use Video links as well.
If you are really cunning, you can also talk via the Xbox Live service, and play Halo at the same time as you chat.
The second step is to buy the phone, which is easy and relatively cheap. The one I am interested is this Skype phone.
It just looks sexy.
So that’s the ISP, and hardware sorted, I already have the networking infrastructure in place, i.e. Broadband and a PC. All I need is some on to call…
And that’s where I get let down. I don’t know anyone in far away places. In fact I hate using the phone at the best of times. So that’s where my dream ends. I have the knowledge and money to make it a reality, but without friends and a desire to talk to them, it’s just not worth the effort.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
My work task was to find 3 or 4 pictures of Pam Anderson, not I hasten to add Pamela Anderson. Don’t ask, I know I didn’t.
So my work PC is now full to the brim of pictures of naked, semi clothed, bikini clad, short skirt Pammy, Pamela or Pam Anderson
Here are my two favourites. And that is favourites with a U for any yanks that happen across this site. As if that would happen.
- I love to talk about myself
- I don't think there's any down side to masturbation. Apart from cleaning up.
- I like walking in public listening to instrumental music on headphones, it's like being in a movie.
- My entire life is just a performance I put on to entertain Shirley.
- I dream about my (dead) father quite often
- Having children was my prime directive. I've done that. Technically, I'm finished with life, this is all a bonus now.
- I wish I could get the music I compose in my head onto my instruments.
- I don't like cheese. Unless it's cooked.
- My hard disk is the tidiest part of my life
- I think I look gorgeous when I look in the mirror.
- I think I look like a mutant freak in photographs.
- My pet hates are cheap sellotape and cheap toilet paper. I hate things that won't tear cleanly.
- I think Everyone could be good in bed if they just put in the effort. It's not rocket science.
- I have been killed twice in dreams.
- I like to give people enough rope to hang themselves. I'm very patient like that.
- I'm good at most things. But don't particularly excel at anything. Apart from Excel (that's not actually true)
- If one of my daughters fell out of a plane (who knows how these things happen) I would jump out after her. I wouldn't want her to be on her own.
- I think running the country is probably quite difficult. I have no interest in doing it. Or organising a charity event.
- I think God exists. But he doesn't give a shit one way or the other whether I praise him or not. He's moved on.
- I think I could win Fear Factor. Even the tasks that appeal to my fears (like electric eels) would be no problem. Being brave on TV isn't that difficult. Being brave when no-one will ever know is much harder.
- I'm very competitive. I now have more items that either of the Pauls.
- Two of my most hated words are “use to”. As in “I use to be able to do something”. That and “In the past”.
- I use the words in 1. far more than anybody else I know which really pisses me of a lot.
- I am a firm believer in respect. But only respect that is earned. For example by simply being older than me you will not get my respect. I know of plenty of people who are older than me whose idea of a hard days work is signing on down at job seekers. By having a point of view/wisdom/some quota of intelligence/respect for others (who deserve it) I will respect you. We are all born equal.
- I have been to an AA meeting. I was drunk and it was the low point of my life. I could not bring myself to feel any sympathy for the people there and so left having learnt a huge lesson in personal choice. My own personal choice was to control what I drank from that point onwards.
- I can be an absolute twat when drunk, I have grown to accept this and I don’t really wake up with the regrets anymore.
- My wife and my daughter are everything to me. I would sacrifice anything and everything in an instant to keep them happy and safe.
- I have worked my ass of in every job I have ever had from digging holes to photocopying and everything in between. All bosses take advantage of me to one degree or another.
- A Google search for my name puts me top of the list
- A MSN search for “Hotmail” puts my website in second place, only behind www.hotmail.com. Hotmail is in the top 10 most searched words in history. I have been learning about search engine optimisation for about a year.
- I would make a crap boss, my work ethic is too strong for most people and I would upset a lot of people. I know this but will always make some other excuse for not pushing myself into management.
- I have been successful in every interview I have ever had.
- I am easily capable of killing somebody, there would have to be real justification but I would not hesitate if needs be. Nor would I feel regret.
- My wife and my daughter are everything to me.
- I either get on very well with people or have no time for them, there is no middle ground.
- I sleep with my right eye half open but the eye ball floats up to give my eye a white look.
- I remember almost nothing of my childhood.
- I don’t believe in God, but believe in Aliens and Ghosts.
- I can’t sleep if someone is touching me. I could just be about to doze off, but if a stray foot or hand even brushes me, I come quickly awake.
- I love cleaning and throwing things out. It give’s me a tremendous buzz to see a once messy room clean.
- I cry at films and major sporting events. I wept like a baby when Sir Steve Redgrave won his 5th consecutive gold Medal in Sydney.
- My family mean everything to me.
- I have seen three of my children born and one die in my arms.
- I often think about what McKenzie Gemma King would be like today if she had lived.
- I really do not fear dying.
- I can’t wait to retire, I think about it every working day.
- Roller Coasters do not scare me at all. If they were dangerous, they wouldn’t let you on.
- I used to dream about being in a plane crash and living on a desert Island and surviving for years. I still do dream about it
- I can’t sing, but love to sing. I wish I had a good singing voice.
- I love to spend money on anything, but mainly electrical Equipment and Gadget’s.
- I rarely ever worry about money, as life will provide. If you borrow money, it’s the banks problems to try and get it back from you; not your problem to try and pay them back. They make Billions in profit, sod them.
- I am a great believer in Corporal punishment. I would bring the death penalty back for almost ALL offences. If people know they would be hanged for burglary etc, then I would think that 90% of them wouldn’t do it. The other 10% would then only have to do it once. It just makes plain sense to me.
- I think they should bring back national service. It would put the GREAT back into Great Britain and put some discipline into the younger generation.
- I ALWAYS blame the Parents. It is their fault there kids are rude, ill-disciplined yobs etc. Kids learn from their parent’s. It happens throughout the animal kingdom.
- I would do anything to go into space and be an astronaut.
Basically it creates a tool bar in word to allow you to post directly from Word in to your Blog.
So there you go.
This as they say is the first true test.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Which makes the fact that some people who were given an invite and had promised to turn up, didn’t, but I digress.
Anyhoo, even Paris Hilton and ex-Big Brother celebs couldn’t get in.
Those that had the grace and good fortune to turn up were, Paul, Max, Ady, Dave, Jayne, Steve, Yvonne, Paul, Suzanne, Mel, Tony, Mal and Jeanette, with only Mel staying sober.
Everyone really made the effort and all the costumes were excellent
The day actually started at 12.15 when Maxine & I started putting up all the Halloween decorations and setting the atmosphere. This was finally finished at 6.00pm, which allowed an hour to relax before getting into our costumes.
Of course, first to turn up was Ady in a fantastic Satan costume, he looked very impressive.
He appeared very tall and menacing. Here he is with me, I’m the Mummy
Then came the neighbours, Dave and Jayne. Dave had gone for a more debonair Devil, a sort of 00 satan. (ie. 007)
Jayne was actually wearing her daughters Halloween Dress, but don’t tell any one.
Then Paul and Suzanne made their grand entrance, Suzanne had followed the rest of the (or most of them anyway) and had gone for Witch, whilst Paul was a Mad Scientist.
Malcolm and Jeanette then arrived all the way from Peel, Mal as a Vampire and Jeanette as another Witch.
Steve & Yvonne also commuted from a great distance (Kirk Michael) and both looked stunning.
Yvonne as a Vampire Goth and Steve as a Vampire Cowboy (or something like that, I actually forget what he’s actually was).
And last but by no means least, Tony and Mel turned up, Tony as a Grand Mummy Monster and Mel as a Witch or something. Who knows.
That only left Maxine, my co host and beautiful wife. Maxine was a Spider Widow.
The party was soon jumping, actually everyone was just stood around drinking, but that was the idea of the evening anyway.
After a few hours of eating and drinking someone (Maxine) suggested Twister… I’ll save you the embarrassment of the pictures for that.
Anyhoo, there was lots of drink (including Thai Whiskey), much laughter and lots of merriment. No one remembers going home apart from Mel who was sober, and she left at 01.30am.
A great night and thanks for all those that turned up.