20 Unknown or Obscure facts about me, Mikey

Firstly, in response to Paul and Paul (and not you other buggers) here is my partially complete list.

1. I love to talk about myself


2. I don't think there's any down side to masturbation. Apart from cleaning up.


3. I like walking in public listening to instrumental music on headphones, it's like being in a movie.


4. My entire life is just a performance I put on to entertain Shirley.


5. I dream about my (dead) father quite often


6. Having children was my prime directive. I've done that. Technically, I'm finished with life, this is all a bonus now.


7. I wish I could get the music I compose in my head onto my instruments.


8. I don't like cheese. Unless it's cooked.


9. My hard disk is the tidiest part of my life


10. I think I look gorgeous when I look in the mirror.


11. I think I look like a mutant freak in photographs.


12. My pet hates are cheap sellotape and cheap toilet paper. I hate things that won't tear cleanly.


13. I think Everyone could be good in bed if they just put in the effort. It's not rocket science.


14. I have been killed twice in dreams.


15. I like to give people enough rope to hang themselves. I'm very patient like that.


16. I'm good at most things. But don't particularly excel at anything. Apart from Excel (that's not actually true)


17. If one of my daughters fell out of a plane (who knows how these things happen) I would jump out after her. I wouldn't want her to be on her own.


18. I think running the country is probably quite difficult. I have no interest in doing it. Or organising a charity event.


19. I think God exists. But he doesn't give a shit one way or the other whether I praise him or not. He's moved on.


20. I think I could win Fear Factor. Even the tasks that appeal to my fears (like electric eels) would be no problem. Being brave on TV isn't that difficult. Being brave when no-one will ever know is much harder.


21. I'm very competitive. I now have more items that either of the Pauls.