Friday, March 31, 2006

Rugby Fixtures this Weekend.

Thank god for SKY+

How many will you watch?

Date Fixture Channel Competition
Fri 31 Newcastle v Connacht (7.30pm) SS2 7pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Chiefs v Highlanders (8.35am) SS3 8.30am Super 14
Sat 01 Leicester v Bath (12.30pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Toulouse v Leinster (3pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Bradford v Hull BBC1 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Munster v Perpignan (5.30pm) SS1 5.15pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Wigan v Wakefield BBC2 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sun 02 Biarritz v Sale Sharks (5pm) SS2 4.30pm Heineken Cup

Coooonts !!!!!!!!

Another year’s pay review has come and gone, and once again no bonus.

Bastard coooonts.

The only thing we get is a 2.1% pay rise, and at my measly salary that’s only £500 a year, which works out at £41.50 extra per month.

Bastard coooonts the lot of them.

I find out on Monday if my £5,000 training course has been approved, which would be something I suppose. However, I would rather have half the money in cash, which means both of us are happy. They save £2500 and I get some spending.

Bastard coooonts.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Stag Weekend.

One of the lads is off to Latvia for a stag weekend tomorrow. They are doing the usual stuff, drinking, strippers etc. However, they have also lined up going shooting; not your normal Shotgun, this is AK47 shooting.

Which is every schoolboys fantasy.

Lucky cooonts.

A Good Soldier.

Why all this uproar and commotion over ID cards. I personally think it’s a good idea, maybe it’s because I am a good soldier and do as I’m told. Maybe it’s because I am a mostly law abiding citizen, that doesn’t intend to be a burglar, rapist or murderer and therefore don’t mind the Government having my DNA on record.

I really can’t see all the fuss, what are people afraid of? It’s not big brother, it’s just makes sense, if it cut’s down NHS fraud, which is something like £32 billion a year, surely that money saved can be spent on health and education…

Come on people, if you’ve got nothing to hide then step up and get your finger prints taken.

If you don’t like it, there’s a plane every morning to Russia, Iraq or Afghanistan… You commie bastards…


If I wore these glasses all day at work, there would be alarm bells ringing.

They are all a bunch of boring geeky accountant nerds (at least most of them are)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

What the hell have I got to say?


I’ve had stuff to do at work recently, just spreadsheets, but it’s been nice to see the days fly by. Apart from that there is nothing to say.

I had a most enjoyable quiet night out with the wife on Monday; we had a quiet night in last night. We are watching “Red Eye” tonight and I’m watching “Doom” tomorrow night.

Saturday we are out with a load of people.

That is basically it.

There is a rumour that we will find out our bonus figures this Friday or lack of bonus figures as it turned out this time last year… cooonts.

That’s it really.

I was going to comment on these two articles, but I can’t be arsed.

Have a great rest of the weekend.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Thanks, but no thanks

It's my dads birthday this week, luckily (and very rarely for my family) he actually has a hobby which makes it reasonably easy to buy a present for him. He's a big angler, so it's either tackle or more likely a book or DVD. Seeing as how the shops on the Isle of Man are crap I thought I'd check out to see what they had on offer...

with all the recent trouble about browsing in work and e-mail shenanigans I thought there could be some risk but what the hell heh. No sooner has the page loaded when there's loud laughter from behind me (nosey bastards), top of my "Amazon Recommends" list was this little gem The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I'm guessing this is a whole book dedicated on how to say bend over?

How Amazon managed to pick that considering all I've ever ordered from them is techy books and gadgets I've got no bloody idea but can I get rid of it? This tinternet is a dangerous place and I still haven't bought my dad anything.

Mum’s Day

It was a funny old weekend; I went to bed on Saturday Night complaining to my incredibly sexy wife that I felt as if the weekend had been a dead loss and that I hadn’t done anything. The only highlight up to that point was watching the incredibly thrilling Sale Shark’s vs. London Irish game, what a cracker to say the least.

However, all that changed on Mummy’s day. I got up early and waited for the kids to get up. When they finally decided to leave their pits, we began the breakfast feast for Princess. The tray was festooned with a Bacon & Mushroom toasty, OJ, Tea, Flowers, Cards and gifts.

The children then fawned over Mum for the next hour or so, which was nice for her. We then got ready and picked up my Mum before heading off to the restaurant for a three-course feast. Daniel was impeccably well behaved and also ate everything on his plate. My roast dinner didn’t have a roast potato like everyone else, which I mentioned in passing to a waitress, she then reappeared a couple of mins later with a bowl full of them… Result!

Needless to say after three courses including about 7 large roasties I was stuffed….

We also finished the night off with a couple of bottles of Bubbly.

So all in all Sunday made the weekend.

I hope all you Mum’s out there got exactly what you deserve.

Friday, March 24, 2006


Let me start by stating I’m trying REALLY hard not to spend money today. I have just received an email from Sky, offering me first choice on the new SKY HD service. This is a limited service to start with and that it is on a first come first serve basis.

I can get Sky HD before you general Public type people can get it because I signed up as an interested party months and months ago.

The only problem is money…..

It’s £299 for the new box. That for those who don’t know me, is exactly £299 more than I have available to spend and coincidently exactly £299 more than I have in our savings account.

I did mention that it’s bonus time at the end of this month, and IF by some miracle I get a bonus of £1500. I shall treat myself for putting up with this place by purchasing said HD service. Otherwise I shall have to wait for next year, as I will definitely be getting it for the Rugby World Cup.

But if anyone has a spare £299 and wants to put it to a worthy cause, please contact me immediately.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


I was chatting on MSN this morning and found myself using the phrase "he could always kip down" meaning "he could go to sleep".

Now, in my tenure in Canada I have adapted. Being of high intellect, I am able to speak Canadianese. It's like English but with far fewer words and no slang (apart from adding 'eh' to everything).

But Shirley (being a woman) struggles. An example:

Our car was getting fixed, so Shirley rang a friend and asked if she could "bum a lift". There are so many reasons a Canadian wouldn't understand this not least of which is that Shirley has a manx/yorkshire accent.

So, not unexpectedly, her friend didn't understand.

At which point, Shirley's brilliant strategy for dealing with the vocab. limited Canadians kicks in. She just speaks slower and louder.

"CAN - I - BUM - A - LIFT"

It's hysterical.

Before they die, everyone should see the look of total confusion on a Canucks face with Shirley shouting the following:

"WIND - YOUR - NECK - IN" (i.e. calmn down)
"SHE'S - POTS - FOR - RAGS" (i.e. she's mentally deranged)
"CHIPS - AND - MUSHY - PEAS - PLEASE" (no known translation)

Sometimes, she finishes her bizarre phrase as though it will become self explanatory. For example, if someones pant leg didn't meet their shoe (thereby revealing sock):

"Put jam on shoes" says Shirley
"Ugh?" replies the Canadian
"(sigh) Put some jam on your shoes and invite your trousers down for tea" she says, somehow explaining all.
"Ugh?" repeats the Canadian

But I will give her credit. She decided early on to remain true to her heritage and remains uncompromised. Me? I'm a total sell out. That's it for now, I gotta put out the trash, eh!

Great Night Out

Well the call went out and all the lads responded. So for once, the wife stayed in and I went out. For some reason it was actually heaving with people in the Pub, but we had a great time. We drank beer, and talked up the old times as if they were the good old days. We spent hours taking the piss out of each other, which is a bloke’s favourite past time. We talked of Ferengi’s, Halitosis, Hairy Backs and Tomb Stones. It was a hoot.

I also found out to my disbelief that I am in fact a Communist at heart… Who would have thought?

I also showed the wife how to come home; you should come home” Drunk & Sleepy”, not as she does, “Drunk & Horny”.

It turns out whilst I was out, she was on the phone to her cousin (who lives virtually at the bottom of the road) for 2.5 hours??? Two and half hours on the phone WTF?? What do you talk about for that long? Chicks Eh!

Great Night indeed and I look for to the Official Congrats to Steve & Yvonne drinks soon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

A Glorious Day!

It’s as sunny as a sunny thing on Sunny Day today on the Jewel in the Irish Sea (aka The Rock).

I’m in a good mood as well, must have something to do with the Sunshine.

I’m out with the lads tonight, just for a few drinks and a chat. It should be a laugh.

I’ve also been reading other people’s blogs this morning (nothing new there then), but it does surprise me how good at writing some of them are, or at least how well written they are and the thoughts they get across. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of Blogs out there (or out here as it were).

Diary Blogs: I had chips and Red Wine last night and watched TV.

The Other Type: I can’t really think of a single word to describe them, but they leave you thinking about what they said. They are not telling you what they have done in the last 24 hours, but are telling you either a little about themselves or a little about the way they think.

Obviously this blog is most ramblings and more of a Diary blog, apart from when Mikey has his idle musing, or Paul goes off on one of his Rants…

That’s it really, I off to do a bit of work, once I’ve made a cup of tea and finished reading Skysports Rugby and the AV Forum.

Have a nice midweek day.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Blast from the Past

As I came out of the Gym at lunch time, some fella was just walking past. We both briefly looked at each other and then carried on our separate ways.

It wasn’t till I was around the corner that it sunk in who it was. It was an old friend that I haven’t seen since I was a Primary School, some 28 years ago (I’m trying not to think how old that statement makes me feel).

Anyway, luckily living on the Rock, there is nothing sacred, and 15 mins later I had it confirmed that he was living back on the Island, where he worked and his email address.

So we are going out for a drink next week to catch up on old times… I think I’ll bring Ady along, as after 30 mins of catching up, we’ll have nothing to say.

So for those out there who remember Mr John Melia, who was once listed as one of the Top Ten Most Eligible Bachelors in London, we are going for a drink if you wish to tag along.

He also made me promise not to tell Barry where he was… So hush hush Bro.

To sleep, perchance to Dream

Or as Keats puts it:
O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,--
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.

Could I sleep last night? Could I bollocks… I tried turning off the light at 11:45pm, but by 1.30am I was still looking at the clock and trying to find a comfortable position. So bollocks this, I thought, and I popped downstairs to watch TV.

I watched the Gadget show first, and entered their competition to win £4000 worth of cool gadgets. Then I watched some Babecast XXX, and a little TV Girls Live. Actually I watched “Planet Earth”, but that doesn’t sound as Heterosexual as the naked chicks programs.

Anyhoo, I eventually wandered back up to bed at 3.30am and struggled to find sleep. I think it was around 4.00am the last time I looked at the clock. That is, till the alarm went off at 7.30am.

I hate sleep… it’s an elusive mistress.

That's not snow...

In response to the snowy pics posted on this very blog a few days back, I thought I'd show you what snow is really like. This was taken last night.

We don't measure it in centimetres, we measure in feet.

Real Age

My actual age is 37.7
My 'real age' is 36.7

Basically, I eat sod all fruit and veg and ride a bicycle without a helmet. Sue me.

And I need to lose a bit of weight. Oh, and drink more alcohol!

Monday, March 20, 2006

My “Real Age”

I have just done this online test ( to see how old I really am, after being called, “Old & Haggard” by my nearest and dearest.

Congratulations! You've completed the test!

Your age is: 39.1
Your 'real age' is: 37.9, but you could be younger!
Difference: -1.2

Your Personalized Recommendations
What can you do to start growing younger? Read the personal recommendations and benefits below to see how simple choices can affect your rate of aging.

Sleep is an important way in which the body regulates itself. Although you may be getting the right amount of sleep, getting too little can be stressful to your body. You might try going to sleep a little earlier and sticking to this same regular sleep schedule every day.

Flossing is the most important thing you can do to prevent periodontal disease and needless aging.

For most people, moderate alcohol consumption (1/2 - 1 units a day) slows the aging process. Drinking more than that makes your 'real age' older.

Ideally, you should be eating 5-6 servings of vegetables every day. A diet high in vegetables is not only a diet high in vitamins and nutrients, but also fibre. Maximize the anti-aging properties of antioxidants by increasing your vegetable intake.

Besides being a good source of protein and vitamins, fish contains omega-3 fatty acids, which reduce triglyceride levels in the blood and slow aging of the arteries. Be sure to eat at least 2 servings of non-fried fish per week for optimal health benefits.

A Woman Who Reads!

One morning a husband returns to his lake cabin after several
hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors
out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book, enjoying the
peace and quiet.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.

Why oh Why Would I Want to?

Go Out that is.

My wife is always complaining that I never go out and give her a night to herself. She is good enough, to go out with the girls at least once a week to allow me some alone time, but I never reciprocate and allow her the same luxury.

But why would I want to go out.

At home, I have an extremely comfortable sofa, my house is very warm and welcoming. I have a nice 37” HD TV, Broadband, Xbox 360, Sky +, DVD’s galore and a fridge full of beer and wine.
It seems to me that there is no reason to go out? I’ve been out and done that, but you can’t beat home, a real home and that’s what I have.

However, there is one reason, Mates (Friends, Pals, Buddies, Chums, Comrades, Besties).

You can’t invest enough time in your friends. They are there (if they are not, then they are not really mates) when you need them. When times are bad or girlfriends are as crazy as a bag of cats, it’s mates that keep you sane. Girlfriends come and go, but mates are there for the long haul.

So I have decided to make more of an effort and get out with the Lads every couple of weeks. Email is not enough any more, neither is interaction via the medium of Blog.

I need real life, sit down, beer in one hand and talk bollocks for 4 hours, sort of interaction.

So the call has gone out and I am awaiting a response.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

The Great Height Conspiracy

Have you ever noticed that we are all, in fact, pretty much the same height?

Although we often describe somebody as 'short' or 'tall' there's not really much difference. A short man would be, say, 5'4 whereas a tall man would be 6'1. That's only a 10% difference. Hardly a drop in the ocean, it's not as if tall people are triple the height of short people.

In fact, visitors from outer-space might consider us all to be the same size. They might be gobsmacked (or the equivalent alien jargon) by our entire culture which is centred around height. They'd say "but you're all pretty much the same height, we'd need very high precision measuring devices to tell the difference" or "gak spp'j cwk taaaak".

You get my point.

Of course there are anomalies. Some examples follow:

1. Really tall black people
2. Children
3. People lying down

And, on a side note, although there are extra-large and extra-small sizes, there is no extra-medium. Now that is pure discrimination.

I think you'll all agree, free porn rules!


Friday, March 17, 2006

The Weekend Cometh.

Highlight of the week was being told I looked “Old and Haggard”… Which is a right confidence builder. Still I picked my self up and told myself not to listen to that person, after all what did she know? We’ve only been together 6 years…

Today is Friday and I’ve spent all morning watching the Rugby 7’s from the Commonwealth Games, live on the BBC website. Which is definitely better than working? Not that I have any work to do, well I actually do have work to do, but I can’t do it as I’m watching the Rugby 7’s from the Commonwealth Games, live on the BBC website.

Nothing special planned for the weekend, just another slow one.

Apart from the last weekend of the Six Nations.

That’s it really; I hope Ady had a good weekend in Amsterdam. I hope Paulie B has a great weekend with his family. I hope Mike and his troop are busy packing in preparation for the imminent return to the Rock from the Outback.

I hope all of your wishes bar one comes true.

Later Days

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hunting Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Americans are Dumb

And I can back it up.

I was in Wendy's yesterday. You don't have that in Grand Britain. However, you may have heard the news story where a woman found a severed finger in her chilli and tried to sue them. Turns out it was a hoax.

But Wendy's sales took a huge nose dive due entirely to this incident.

Which got me wondering: did your average North American believe that it was now Wendy's corporate policy to put emancipated digits in their mexican-style minced beef?

Consider the scene:
Randy: "Let's grab us some chow at Wendy's"
Brock: "Hey, no way dude. Dontcha know they is putting fingers in all their food now?"
Randy: "Hell no! Let's go punch a cow instead"
Brock: "Cool!"

Whereas, back home, someone working at McDonalds reportedly ejaculated into the food. Did that stop us eating at the Golden M?

Of course not. How absurd!

Firstly: how many times can someone jerk off in a day? It's not as if he can even cover 1% of the daily output of said franchise. And secondly, just don't order anything with mayo on it.


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

What’s Going On?

Not a lot at the moment, I started the week full of gusto thinking I would knuckle down and do loads at work. Then I realised that I only had a couple of things pencilled in, and that they didn’t have to be done till September.

So my bubble burst and I have sat at my desk, dejected for the last 3 days. My only highlight of the week is betting £3 each day on the Cheltenham Races. So far I have won £6.21 from a £2.80 bet.

My bets for today, a grand total of £3, all of which are 30p each way.

Mr Nosie (although most people go for Denman)
Darkness (although most people go for Commercial Flyer)
Fota Island (although most people go for Kauto Star)
Fair Question

In other news, the Manx DHSS are out to get me! That’s official. I can’t go into why I make this statement, but needless to say it is true. Coonts.

All of the family birthdays are out of the way till August.

It’s Pay Review month, so in the next 2 weeks I’ll find out my pay rise and bonus. I didn’t get one last year, and have brought it up at every opportunity given. I hope I have worn them down, into giving me one! (ou er misses)

That it really, I’ve be playing Halo tonight around 9.00pm, anyone out there can join in, send me a Friend invite. Kingster IOM is my Gamertag

There are another 3 people with author rights to this blog, but they are conspicuous by their absence. I’m sure our Canadian Manxie has some thoughts or stories to tell us.

That’s it, how are you all doing?

Jaffa Cakes: Biscuit or Cake?

The source of one of the most complex conundrums ever to challenge mankind:
Is it a cake or is it a biscuit?
These small circular sponges topped with chocolate and squidgy orange stuff have been the subject of much debate over the years. Even the British government has become embroiled in this web of snack-related intrigue. At present, the Jaffa Cake is classified as a cake but the British government is attempting to get it reclassified as a biscuit. This would mean it would come under a higher tax bracket, as biscuits are not as perishable as cakes, or something technical like that.
It is not clear how much more expensive the Jaffa Cake would become should this proposal go through Parliament, but it's possible they could move from the realms of 'everyday favourite' to become more a much more exclusive item. In which case, they could end up being treated similarly to fine wines, so that in the future, small groups of Jaffa Cake connoisseurs might be found in darkened cellars discussing texture, nose, and full-bodied flavour.

Monday, March 13, 2006


I was walking through the street at lunch time and I had a quick look in Game. They have brought out Lemmings for the PSP. I used to really love Lemmings way back on the Mega Drive. I spent hours on it as I love puzzle games.

I was sorely tempted to buy it, but technically the PSP is my son’s so I would have full access to it.

Then reading this review on the Tin Ter Net suggested that my nostalgia may be addling my brain.

And so here is the FREE online version of the original game.


The Weekend that Was

Since our cooker had been on the blink (where on earth does that saying come from?), I didn’t have a chance to cook my eye-catching wife a meal for her birthday on Monday. As it was eventually fixed Thursday and Friday was the first night without all the kids, I made up for it then, and let her cook me a meal. A most romantic evening it turned out, although the two bottles of white wine didn’t do me any favours in the morning.

Saturday we all hung round waiting for the birthday boy to turn up from his Dads. He was only in the house 2 mins, before he was off to one of his clubs. So the actual birthday was something of a damp squid…..

Sunday it was an awful day weather wise, which actually played into our hands. We decided to go bowling and didn’t book a lane, but because of all the snow, half the people didn’t turn up for the Junior League that was on. This meant we were able to get a lane after all. A quick pub lunch followed, and then the birthday boy shot off back to his dad’s…. Poor Mum.

That was it…

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bird Flu

Let us see what have I done at work today?

Well last night I downloaded the latest Game Demo from Xbox Live (The Outfit), but it wouldn’t work, anyhoo, so I surfed around my favourite Forum and found the answer to make it work.

Then the MD’s PA brought her son’s Nintendogs game in, as she could not get it working. Therefore, I surfed my favourite forum and found the answer. I then spent the next 30 mins training a virtual dog, called Charlie, his name and how to sit.

I then read more of my favourite forum, regarding 37WLT58 HD LCD TV, SKY HD and a couple of more threads. I quick peek at a PSP forum, and the odd glance at Donna’s blog to see if she had updated. I rang the wife as well.

Which brings me up to 11.34, hardly worth starting any work now, as I’m off to the Gym at 12.30.

As for this afternoon, I have one job. I have to take a picture of the MD’s desk as it’s “unsuitable” and he wants a new one…

Roll on the weekend..

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Done it!

Since my feet were soaking from walking to work this morning, I finally went out and bought a new pair of Shoes. Not exactly the finest Italian Leather, nor are they some designer label, but they do exactly what they say on the box (actually they don’t give you a box, they just throw them in a bag).

Anyhoo for a bargain of £6.99 I now have dry feet again…. Bring on the rain.

Other news.

Since starting work in a Chemist and being in constant contact with the ill and unhealthy, my strikingly beautiful and sexy wife has felt nothing but poorly. Still I hope she is well enough to meet the girls tonight, a glass of red Wine should help her immune system.

Other news.

I was going to say something about this Story. But where do I start without being labeled a bigot, chauvinist or worse a rapist. However, it states that man should get written consent (virtually saying that) before bedding a wench. If she is too drunk and consent’s at the time but then in the morning when she wakes up and is so embarrassed/ashamed of what she has done (even if it was consensual at the time) she can charge the man with rape….

Don’t get me wrong, I would not want any woman raped, and if they are they should have the full backing of the law and of course the rapist should have his bit’s bitten off by a rabid dog.

But how does this new law work? How do you determine, when no doubt you are in a state as well, that the woman is saying yes and is all over you, that come morning and the tequila is wearing off that she wont change her mind…..

I just don’t think this law is the right way forward.

Thank GOD I am married and have it on tap and don’t have to worry about all this single stuff.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

There’s a Hole in My Shoe that is letting in Water

I know I go on and on about it, but my feet a soaking wet… I really must bite the bullet and buy some new shoes… for crying out loud it’s only £12.

I hate buying shoes…

Snow Pic's

Monday, March 06, 2006

Snow, Beer & Hot Food

I had a fantastic weekend, starting on Friday when we just all sat round the TV, eating and talking (myself, the wife and the 3 kids). Nothing special it just felt really “family”, which I am a big sucker for.

Although I couldn’t sleep and was up at 5.50, there was a big bonus to start the day, as Ady has already stated it SNOWED, not a couple of centimeters but inches of pure white powdered FUN. Initially the kids wouldn’t go out and help me build snowmen, but eventually they gave in. We had a great time, and although there were a few (actually lots) of tears at various points in the snowball fights, I can honestly say it was the best morning ever.

I also managed to watch a fair bit of Rugby, and then once the children were all dropped off at various relatives we had my wife’s birthday night out to enjoy. A couple of drinks at a very relaxing bar, and then on for an Indian, was the order of the night. Not really knowing my way around an Indian Menu, I just picked the first thing that I came across; as it was everyone was just sharing the meals.

Then it was off to the local Disco, which I have been informed is now called a Club. Anyhoo at said Dicso Club, Steve & I were straight up on the floor and showing the young pups how to move. It wasn’t long before a hen party were up and trying to get our attention.

Basically it was a great night and a Big Up to all of those that turned up, especially Paulie B & S as it was their first night out with us lot (I hope they’ll join us again) and for Timmy D for making the effort in his Pink Shirt. Good to see you again fella.

Sunday was very relaxing.

On an aside I’ve just had my Work Staff Appraisal and here are the comments from my Senior Manager.
“A solid appraisal and reflects the excellent (often undetected) work Paul performs.”

I actually thought I sat around all day reading website’s and blog’s?? Who knew I was such a benefit to the Company. I might ask for a pay rise.

Who am de Man?

I was reading an article on the web about one of the Producers of the film “Crash” suing the Academy Awards people, and at the every end there was a quote from a Film Critic stating he had heard more people talking about voting for “Crash” than the bookies favourite “Brokeback Mountain”.

So I put a £4 on Crash @ 4-1, (all I had left on my Internet betting account) and I WON…..

Who said you can’t make money on the Internet.

PS. Happy Birthday Honey.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Snow - what is it good for?

Bringing the community together, that's what.

Was awoken by my girlfriends kids this morning (at ay em ridiculous) with the hushed glee that there was snow everywhere. And yep - a picture perfect scene of white frosting that clung to the trees and virginated everything in sight (only previously seen in movies). So we get bundled up to tackle the cold (the secret is in the layers) and we go out to build snowmen (the snow was too light - so didn't stick well) have snowball fights and sledding up and down the roads.

And so the families in the houses up and down the road slowly emerged in a colourful display of knitware, and enjoyed the shared occasion. Not since the Queens Coronation anniversary have so much of the community shared the community spirit. Snowball wars settled age old arguements about fence size and old and young bonded together as they never will again.

Aaaah. Bless.

So the Island was snowed in again. But this time it was a weekend and so people didn't need that excuse to stay off work - instead, for a scant few hours, we all pelted each other with snow and laughed it off afterwards.

Friday, March 03, 2006

I want one of those

Every boy’s childhood dream a remote control Shark… I kid you not!
Now if they can put Lasers on their “frickin heads”, we’re laughing.

What we are not laughing at, is standing in a public urinal trying desperately to open the Button Flies on your new jeans…. What a spack I felt. I just couldn’t the fuckers open and after a couple of mins I gave up and just pissed myself.  Actually I didn’t, I went to a cubicle and had to take my belt off first. Fucking cooonting jeans.

Other good news is that I fixed my Laptop last night and so saved all my data, alas it now means I can’t try and buy a new one. Bugger.

What else is there??

We are out tomorrow Night to celebrate my stunningly foxy wives’ birthday, and Steve “I haven’t a pot to piss in” Ward’s. After changing venue 6 or 7 times I haven’t a clue were we will eventually end up. As long as my wife is on one arm, and a pint in the other I’ll be a happy man.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thursday, March 02, 2006


It’s all about perspective. On the Isle of Man today it is snowing. A light drizzle, that’s has been going for most of the night. The Isle of Man has now come to stand still. There is bedlam on the roads, anarchy in the streets, a subtle (what a weird way to spell this sounding sword, why isn’t it spelt suttle? What that all about) mix of Mad Max 2 and Ice Age.

People that live 4 miles away from work (a vast distant in Manx terms) have refused to even chance coming to work because of the hazardous conditions. They are appalled that we would even suggest driving when there is almost an inch on snow on the roads….

This is the current Manx Weather state


Yet on the other side of the planet, is one of our homesick brethren, who pines for greener fields, has another perspective.

It’s -23°C there, with feet deep snow, and life goes on as normal. Everyone continues there daily 2 hour commute and children merrily go to school.

This is the current Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Weather

Of course that does not distract from the fact the place is a shit hole…

Come home soon yessir fella.


My laptop blew up last night. BANG! Actually it just died and refused to come back on.

Which could have a silver lining; it could be time to buy a new one. Except for bastard money. How come there’s not enough money to go round. Why on earth don’t they just print more? And why doesn’t the Government give everyone £1000 at the start of the year, a sort of prize for passing go? Coonts.

Any why can’t I be arsed to do any work? I had my staff appraisal last Thursday which got off to a good start, “So Paul, tell me exactly; What do you do?”…

Well if you are going to be sarky, you can shove your job up your arse, you cooonting fuck bastard twat.

Is what I screamed inside my head; in reality I externally verbalised some bullshit that seemed to appease him.

But they gave me a shit load of “projects” to do on the understanding that they would in return pay for my MSCA.

Did I mention my laptop blew up… coonts.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A Classic Oldie

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Fucking Lent

I decided to give up Tea for lent, as its one thing that I regularly have. In fact, at work, I have around 10 cups a day; this is mostly to give me something to do.

Well it is 11.20 and we’ve just had work pasties, and I would have killed for a nice brew to wash it down with.

Still another 39 days to go or so.