Saturday, December 30, 2006

Second Wii Injury

We’ve rack up the second Wii injury after an exceptional excellent evening out with our friends. There were loads of wine and laughs, and merriment. However, when everyone came back to ours, most of the evening is a blank, which is best as apparently I was doing a striptease, and showing off my arse.

Anyway, whilst demonstrating the Tennis, I managed to clout the wife right on the elbow, which has come up in a lovely huge bruise.

I know I keep going on about it, but the Wii has been an excellent addition to our family.

Happy New Year to one and all.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Hope that everybody got everything they wanted for Christmas, my sack was quite literally bursting, I must have been a very good boy? Unfortunately Santa couldn't track down a last minute Wii for me, the staff in Game won't even speak to me anymore, but from the sound of it that may be a good thing. The image of marital bliss being shattered as somebody is smacked in the face by a flying controller has in my stitches every time, thanks for that Donna! I haven't heard of any of the lads picking up any serious injuries yet, although that could be more to do with the age of them, do you still have the energy to throw yourself around as you approach and then pass 40?

Anyway looking forward to meeting some of you tonight for food, beer and the essential talking shite, for those of you who I don't see may I take this opportunity to wish you all the very best for a healthy, happy, successful and most excellent new year.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

First Wii Injury

Very quick post to let you know, we've had our very first Wii injury.

Whilst doing a particularly fine serve in Tennis against the wife, I managed to clout the heavy metal light in the living room. At the time I could have sworn I'd broken it.

Anyway, I'm ok.

I have to admit the Wii is excellent and loads of laughs. Best Christmas present ever.

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Last Post

Well my last post of the year, that is. From lunchtime today I shall be on holiday till the 8th Jan. A whole two weeks off, playing with the kids Christmas presents.

Monday night was my Mum’s 70th and we had a great time at the Casino. The food was excellent and although the ladies didn’t win on the Roulette table, my Mum did win the Christmas draw, £50 worth of Butcher’s vouchers.

Tuesday was Ady’s 40th Party. Excellent turn out for a great guy, although one particular friend didn’t turn up. If it was my Party I must admit it wouldn’t have bothered me, but I was slightly miffed that this person couldn’t even come down for 30 mins to show his face…. Still his loss.

Wednesday morning was spent playing Video games as was Wednesday evening, as was last night come  to think of it.

At 12.30 today we are all going to the Boardroom for drinks and open our Secret Santa’s… mine’s a bottle of alcohol as I’ve had a good feel of the present already. Then it off to Bar George for a meal and more drink and see how many of my work colleagues I can upset.

That’s it really, I shall be reading all the usual blogs whilst off, but I doubt I’ll get round to writing any. Still the other three lads will keep up the good work.

If anyone is in Douglas, Isle of Man over the next two weeks, do pop in for a glass of Port.

Merry Christmas One and All.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Forty plus

The fortieth Birthday Bash/Hootnany/Shindig was a successful little gig. Friends and family turning up for a splash the cash drinky binge.

And now I can concentrate on Christmas proper - and the constant purchasing of Crimbo pressies. Yay. but then comes the horror of Christmas pressie wrapping. Boo. Cos as has been proven by scientists, men just cannot wrap presents.

So why aren't there 'wrap bags' where I could put the pressie inside and it'll wrap up perfectly (or better than I could do) - perhaps with a vacuum thing to ensure a snug fit! oh no, they have to concentrate on curing diseases and proving quantum mechanics and other such rot.

So my night tonight will be dedicated to sellotape strips and wrapping up pressies to scrunchy, lop-sided effect. I'd best get the mulled wine out then.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Life Begins . . .


I'm 40, me. Time to put behind me all those childhood yearnings and to complete and fulfil the half projects and obsessions nurtured over the past years.

Time, indeed, to encompass all that I have and to direct my energies into loves and lives and comrades near and far.

I have a list, too, y'know. 40 things to do at 40.

May even be a bestseller this time next year.

Cya all tonight for a lil' celebration / commiseration.


Monday, December 18, 2006

Parties, Door’s and Mice

Friday night was the wife’s work Christmas Party. Most husbands get told to make sure they behave themselves and not to make a show. Whilst I was under strict orders to ensure I was the life and soul of the Party. I don’t know about that, as the wife and her two work friends seemed to be up for that role. They more than got the barman interested in what they were or were not wearing….

Anyhoo, I danced with any one that would and dragged a few up that wouldn’t. I was feeling a tad too sober at one point and threw down a double vodka chaser just to catch up with “er in doors”. All in all I think we had a very good evening and I am waiting on reports back to see what impression I made.

Saturday Night was a step back in time; years ago (we are actually talking 16 years) I used to work as a Bouncer or Crowd Control Engineer at a local Club. Mainly because I was going in virtually every night and thought, if I worked a couple of nights a week I would get in free the rest and make some money, plus of course all the girls like Doormen. Anyhoo, that was 16 years ago, and I thought I would never have to do that shit again. However, if I could link you to our online Bank Account, you’ll see why I need the second job.

So once again I donned the mystique of the Surly Doorman. Well actually, surly isn’t me; I must be the friendliest, happiest and most affable Doorman in the World. Still that’s just me. I must say, I’m surprised that half the girls out were a) old enough and b) didn’t catch pneumonia. Surely they forgot to put the rest of their outfit’s on and then left their coats in the taxi……

I spent 6 hours looking mean (ish) and fighting off the advances of drunken sluts. There was no trouble at all, which is nice, but it’s no way to make a second living, but it pays well. Still the sooner we win the Lottery the better.

I did find a fiver on the way to work, so things are looking up on the Luck side.

Tonight, it’s my fantastic Mother’s 70th, and we are off to the Casino. Tuesday night is Ady’s 40th and we are out for a few drinks. So I have Tuesday and Wednesday of work. Thursday should be quiet. Then Friday is my works Party which starts at 12.00 in the boardroom, handing out Secret Santa’s and then off for a meal.

Then I’m off for two whole weeks and return on the 8th January.

You’ve heard of Snakes on a Plane, well now read about the sequel, Mice on a Plane.

Friday, December 15, 2006


Nintendo continue to advertise their Wii on TV even though the games console is sold out and unavailable until after Christmas. Why? It's not to motivate people to buy one - cos they are unavailable to buy.

It's to reinforce the smugness of those that do have these consoles. To give them the 'I'm clever' feeling as the conversation crops up around the office and they boast that 'yes - the Wii is a marvellous thing any they enjoy wiiing all night long'.

Smug Bastards!

* especially those who had the forethought to order two! Sell one on Ebay and cover the cost of the original. Smugly of smugliest bar stewards.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Again with the Blogging

It’s been everyday this week, which is more than I can usually manage. But I’m trying to make an effort as I’m off work for two weeks over Merry Christmas, and there is no way I’ll get round to blogging at home, it’s strictly a passing the time in the office thing.

This article gave me pause for thought, I only got to number two before I had to stop and rant.

Mohammed is now one of the 20 most popular names for boys born in England and Wales. Mohammed?? OMG. Mind you here on the Rock it’s going to be Andrzej or Piotr in the next few years as the Polish take over.

As for other things, it’s my little Brothers 8th Wedding Anniversary on Monday, so congrats to him and his lovely wife. They are off to (in his words)

Singapore to sample, Xmas spirit, real ale, Guinness, fine food, cheap food, night safari, 5 star hotel, city life, a hangover, the old firm game on Saturday watching in a Irish bar, see the Xmas lights.

Also on the same day is our Mum’s 70th, so the wife and I are talking her to the Atlantis Restaurant, in the Hilton Casino. The food is usually very good, and it over looks the gaming floor. After the meal, I have graciously allowed them both 5 new British pounds to spend on the Roulette Table. Happy Birthday Mum.

Then if that’s not enough, one of the hallowed bloggers of this very tome is 40 on Tuesday. So we are all off Salsa dancing to welcome in the start of his life, as of course Life begins at 40.

That’s it.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Banks - The Flip Side

I don't like Banks*

But they're a necessary evil. Just like wives.

My bank keeps my money safe for me. Gives me access to it from all over the world. Let's me pay my bills. Let's me spend my wages before it even clears.


And for this they charge me - nothing. In fact, they pay me a very small amount of interest for the joy of caring for me. How bizarre. I'm eternally grateful.

And I never have bank charges. Coz I'm not an idiot. When I only have £10 in my account, I don't write a cheque for £1500. It's not rocket science.

However, if these whiners continue to bug the banks about the legality of charges, then the banks will eventually say "fair enough, you win. We will no longer charge you for having a IQ of below 50. Instead, we will charge everyone an annual fee for their accounts and, just coz we can, we'll charge you 10p for every transaction we process. And 2p for everytime you use a cashtill".

Because although it is not legal to make a profit from bank charges, it is perfectly legal to charge what they like for looking after accounts.

Banks are in this to make money. I'd much rather they made it from stupid people than from me.

*And I don't work for a Bank. I once did, but they fired me. Apparently, shredding files is not "a super efficient way to deal with all the filing I have to do"

Robbing B’stard Banks

Here are a couple of really interesting articles, that are well worth a read if you have been charged Penalties by your bank over the last six years.

On another note, we were without children for 3 hours last night. What do people do with kids? The house was quiet as a grave, and we were bored silly.

That’s it really.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Well we fell for the temptation; last night we played tested the kids Nintendo Wii’s. I was certainly no Babe Ruth on the Baseball, but I shone on the Golf. Actually I almost threw my shoulder out on the first two swings, as I missed the ball. Then I realised you had to press the A button to step closer to the ball. The wife also did an excellent impression of Horny Kornacova, whilst playing the tennis.

I can’t wait till Christmas day to have a proper blast at them.

Later Days

Monday, December 11, 2006

My Christmas Resolution

I intend to get fat, drunk and happy this Christmas. I shall refrain from going to the Gym for the whole of the Christmas period, and when ever anybody offers me a drink, I shall drink it.

There are three reasons for this:

  1. I want to make this the happiest and best Christmas ever.

  2. I want to see how fat I can get.

  3. I also want to give my knees time to heal.

I actually wrote that first bit some two weeks ago, and so far I have drank pretty much every night.

We had the Boys Annual Christmas Drinks Day Out on Friday and had an exceptional good turnout. I think there were around 10 of us. We started at the Rovers, and had a huge feast, and then got down to som serious drinking. I was in charge of the kitty and think I did pretty well, i.e. the point where I couldn’t talk, drink, or stand up. I then went home. I haven’t heard all the stories yet, they will start to filter in over the next few days. If there are any really juicy ones I’ll pass them on.

On the Christmas front, I’ve done all my shopping and even managed to get hold of TWO Nintendo Wii’s, even though there is much hullabaloo about people not being able to get their hands on them. Obviously, don’t tell the kids as they don’t know they are getting them.

That’s about it really, it’s take me two weeks to get this much on to the Tin Ter Net.

Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Ever wondered what time it is?

Simple solution, use a clock:

Mikey Time

You're welcome.

We're all gonna die

Greetings My Subjects

Unpleasant Environmental Article
Pointless Political Article

Ironic, isn't it, that this environmental article appears in the Independent the day after Gordon Brown puts petrol/aircraft taxes up by a FigRoll or something equally pathetic.

Actually, that's not irony, that's a coincidence. But what is ironic is that I found it ironic. Okay, that makes no sense. Which is itself ironic.

Anyway, we're screwed.

Guess which one would be more detrimental to human life:
1. A Muslim-Christian nuclear confrontation
2. Phytoplankton extinction
3. Brad and Angelina breaking up
4. United being knocked out of the Champions League

Number 2. By miles.

However, even if Gordon Brown had put a quid on a litre of petrol (which I'm strongly in favour of) it would be a drop in the ocean compared to the quantities consumed by the f*cking North Americans where you get a free litre of 'gasoline' with every bagel.

And don't get me started on the Chinese. I don't see why they even have to travel. Since they all look alike, can't they just ring someone at their destination and get them to fill in? Who would know?

Save the planet - turn off your heating and walk to work. Ironic that I do neither.