Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Doctors

I phoned yesterday, first of all I was offered an appointment to see my own Doctor on the 18th of April so I passed on that. Went to see another doctor yesterday afternoon and it went something like this:-

Doctor – “So what’s the problem”

Me – “I’ve had a bad headache for over a week now and it’s causing me to black out and breathing difficulties”

Doctor – “Hmm, looking here you’ve never reported headaches before?”

Me – “That’s because I don’t like coming to the doctors”

Doctor – “Oh, ha ha ha, I think 2 weeks should do it”

Me – “Excuse me? 2 weeks what?”

Doctor – “2 weeks off work, here I’ll…”

Me – “You’re not quite getting my problem here are you, I work for myself, I don’t want signed off, I’d like to feel better so that I can work?”

Doctor – “Ok then” Checks heart, blood pressure and breathing

Doctor – “Everything seems normal, I’ll prescribe you some anti-inflamitries and these jobbies which will sort out the dizziness”

Me – “Oh right, any idea what’s up then?”

Doctor – “Could by any of a lot of things really, your eyes, an ear infection, stress”

Me – “I don’t feel stressed and you said my blood pressure was ok, wouldn’t it be an idea to check my ears and eyes ?”

Doctor – “Try these first and then if you’re not happy in a few days come back, bye”

Me – “Well I’ll see you in a few days then”

THE END – They have no idea why I can’t breath and blackout but it obviously doesn’t warrant looking at
Doctors are useless, they are only good for dishing out sick notes. Cunts.

1 comment:

car01 said...

It takes them 7 years to teach the following to doctors:

"Do you smoke?"
Answer: yes - "best be stopping that then"
Answer: no - "Do you drink?"

Answer: yes - "best be stopping that then"
Answer: no - "I see you're a bit overweight. Best lose some weight then"

If none of the above apply, say "it's probably a virus. Here are some antibiotics"