Thursday, April 19, 2007

Wild Food & Wild Hogs

The wife and I went to watch Wild Hogs last night, to be honest I wasn't expecting much.

The night started of pleasant enough, we went to the Terminus (best described as rustic) for something to eat. We were greeted by the usual bunch of characters you find in a real pub, I like pubs, not bars or eateries. Anyway there were a few tables but by far the best one was in the corner, it had a fork, dirty or clean your guess is as good as mine and some sachets of sauces etc strewn about, there didn't appear to be anybody sitting there so S headed straight for it. Just as she was sitting down, a voice rumbled over my shoulder "I'm sitting their love". Middle aged, broad Yorshire accent, over-weight FAT man in full leather/jean combination with shaved head, multiple tats, drinking Guiness at the bar, far far away from where he was "sitting". S was her normal polite self and apologised saying that she wasn't sure if there was anybody there or not and just laughed, as normal people do. Now I've always worked on the basis that the more "threatening" a persons appearance the more likely they are to actually be nice. After living through so many TT's and being pissed around so many chunky bikers who have never been anything but nice that's what I tend to judge people by. However this merry gent decided that he'd continue "Well isn't it obvious I'm sitting there?" So what's the correct thing to do here? Various things went through my head, I ended up settling for letting him know that it wasn't in fact obvious and then having a quite word when S next went to the toilet. I always feel guilty after losing my temper so I thought a quite word about not acting like a fucking idiot might be a good idea. All seemed well, food was nice, I had gammon, S had Scampi. Just as we were finished our friend decided that he's light up a fag, in the very small no smoking area that we we're sat. I'd had beer by this point which has the effect of making me less likely to confront somebody as I'm very aware that beer in the past had the power of turning me into a super twat. I tend to compensate by letting things slide. A lot of people we're looking waiting for the staff to do something, they did sweet FA other than pretend not to notice him. We'd finished but others were just getting served. I get the impression that this bloke was just being an asshole for the sake of it, under some sort of illusion that this was his pub and he could do whatever the hell he wanted. I'll be sure to remember his fat little face for next time though.

Anyhoo, enough of the pre-dinner entertainment, onto the film. I thought it was ok, S really enjoyed it.

Men riding into things when looking the other way - TICK
Lots of gay jokes, 4 men in leathers on bikes - TICK
Hen pecked husband goes out on bike and comes back a real man - TICK
Man whose kid hates him goes out on bike and kid ends up very proud - TICK
Single nerdy bloke finds hot wife who REALLY likes him for his personality - TICK
Blokes on bikes save the world - TICK

The whole film is one long list of cliches and old jokes. Still a fart is always funny not matter how many farts there are, in the same way we were laughing out loud throughout. There were no farts in it though. I couldn't decide who Wild Hogs was aimed at, there are certain parts (the Apple Mac part at the beginning) that blokes of a certain age will think are great but then on the other side of it there was a lot of silly friendship mush that made me want to puke. There was no naked ladies or such like and I don't think the men on show will do much for the girls (S didn't seem that impressed anyway) . S described the film as something you wouldn't mind going to watch with your mum as you wouldn't be embarrased by any of it. Your 9 year old woudn't get it and your 12 year old wouldn't want to watch it with you so I just don't get who it's for.

Bloke Score - 5 /10
Girls Score - 7.5 /10

So there you go, if you're a bunch of girls you might want to go and see it with your mums, if not then I wouldn't bother. On the plus side they did show a trailer for Spiderman 3 which looks the dogs.

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