Tight

We seem to be having another run of "you're tight" in our house at the moment.  It's always the same this time of year and usually kicks off over the heating because I prefer it low but the girls like to bake in the heat.  I know for a fact that I'm not the only fella that gets this shit and I know some have it a lot worse.  You have my sympathy.

Anyway with me being such a tight wad I decided to have a quick look at what I've spent playing happy families over just the last 4 years.  Where better place to start than with the mortgage. Or lack of it.  I spent my entire retirement/pension fund paying it off and having a load of other work done on the house.  Altogether a decent 6 figure sum.  Just for the record I drive a 12 year old Ford Fiesta and look like a tramp!  The end result of this is more slush money for everybody else each month to spend on clothes, save for holidays and generally bathe in the essence of my generosity.  Nice.

On top of that there is the "fun time" spending.  The money that goes on hobbies, past times and generally anything that anybody in the house enjoys.  Doing some rough calculations and they do only have to be rough because the numbers are so far apart but I've easily spent more on holidays in the past 4 years than I've spent in total on myself in the past 20 years.  I don't really enjoy holidays, can take em or leave em.  Let that sink in. I have personally (not including the money we've spent as a couple) spent more on keeping everybody else happy in 4 years than I've spent on keeping myself happy in 20 years.  Tight fucker...  In addition things like TV is considered one of my hobbies and over that time I could count any contribution towards any electrical goods in the house on 0 fingers.  We do have a well funded joint account but shit like that definitely comes out of my pocket as did the majority of the utility bills for a long time but I had to bring an end to that.  Tight fucker.

Of course all these things could be relative so it's only fair to look at earnings as well, obviously if I'm making the big bucks that it would only make sense that I'm the one splashing the cash.  Except that if you average earnings out over 13 years of marriage there just about fuck all between it.  The only difference is Tight Wad McSkin Flint here saved money to then spend it all on house and family shit like the truly selfish tight cunt that he is.

This is all a bit tongue in cheek because honestly I'd not have it any other way and in terms of wives that are easily pleased I couldn't have gotten off any easier!  On the other hand there is a tinge of seriousness to it, sometimes chicks should have a long hard look at themselves in the mirror over this money shit.