Bizarre Work Experience

 I've had 1 or 2 bizarre work experiences in my life, the tree surgeon who dropped a chainsaw on his arm (lengthways) and I had to hold his arm together with a belt, the e-gaming company where I got secret messages from a shareholder on my second day and asked to sign off the annual accounts in the first week (I was a lowly DBA).  But this one tops them all in terms of "what the actual fuck is going on".  It's office related so obviously dull but I'll translate it to the exciting world of chefing to make it more exciting and relatable!

A Michelin starred chef decides he needs a change of pace so accepts a 90% pay cut job washing dishes in a local cafe.  On his very first day he turns up to find that they've already got somebody washing the dishes, instead they ask him to cook, well they don't ask him, the owners just imply it would be helpful if he cooked.  The cook who interviewed him for the dish washing job doesn't speak to him at all.  The cookery job he now finds himself in is paying the same as the dishwasher.  He thinks rather than standing their doing nothing, being bored, he'll make the best of a bad situation and knock out some meals, might be fun anyway.  He asks them what's on the menu, what should he cook.  Silence.  He asks them where the ingredients are kept.  Silence.  After a while he figures this out for himself and then starts looking for pots and pans, he's about to start when the owner collars him and says he's not to use those pans, instead he can use the 1 rusty pan left in the corner that the existing cook doesn't use.  Fine, he has the experience to manage, the last thing he asks is do the customers have any special requirements or requests he should know about.  Silence.

Reluctantly but clinging to his dream of the easier life he starts knocking out meals with his rusty pan, still the other cook says not a word to him.  The first feedback is good, the cafe's customers have their eyes opened and are very happy.  Feeling that he's made the best of a bad situation he tries for one last time to engage with the existing cook, "what do you think of this, is it ok?"

"Obviously needs more salt and you should have known that all our customers hate potatoes done that way"

And that was my experience of working at IFGL.  Unique, bizarre and utterly fucking mental.