Just to put things in to perspective, YOU are letting a party that represents less than 25% of the population hold YOUR country to ransom until it gets its own way over something that LESS THAN 25% of people voted for. The party that came a very distant 3rd holds all the power in the UK. You've got to laugh. On what planet is that democracy?
In any other country there would be protests, riots, things would get ugly. In the UK you get angry e-mails to BBC news. Well done.
Note: On the plus side now the dust has settled you seem to have a government that actually realises the massive financial shit storm going on and is determined to do something about it. Whilst ours concentrates on using less pens, no seriously
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Friday, May 07, 2010
Shock As Thousands Of Work Shy Tree Huggers And Students Are Too Lazy To Vote
Is it really a shock?
TV crew turns up at a random University and asks the students how they are going to vote. Note: The reporter has made the effort of going to the University, i.e. not expecting the students to do ANYTHING. 90% say Liberal Democrat (why wouldn't they, they are promising to distribute far more of the wealth from the people who DO work to those that don't).
Come election day where there is a need for the same students to get of their asses, go somewhere and vote and.....shock horror...the majority can't actually be arsed, or even better turn up at the polling stations late.
I feel sorry for Nick Clegg a bit, courting students and people too lazy to work doesn't pan out too well when having them vote actually involves them having to do something. If only there was some way of exercising your democratic right in a way that involved absolutely fuck all effort on your behalf then I'm sure the Liberal Democrats would be a shoe-in!
IN OTHER SHOCK NEWS: The much warned about by experts, who know these things, run on Sterling that would happen should a hung parliament occur has started. Who'd have thought that?
TV crew turns up at a random University and asks the students how they are going to vote. Note: The reporter has made the effort of going to the University, i.e. not expecting the students to do ANYTHING. 90% say Liberal Democrat (why wouldn't they, they are promising to distribute far more of the wealth from the people who DO work to those that don't).
Come election day where there is a need for the same students to get of their asses, go somewhere and vote and.....shock horror...the majority can't actually be arsed, or even better turn up at the polling stations late.
I feel sorry for Nick Clegg a bit, courting students and people too lazy to work doesn't pan out too well when having them vote actually involves them having to do something. If only there was some way of exercising your democratic right in a way that involved absolutely fuck all effort on your behalf then I'm sure the Liberal Democrats would be a shoe-in!
IN OTHER SHOCK NEWS: The much warned about by experts, who know these things, run on Sterling that would happen should a hung parliament occur has started. Who'd have thought that?
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Dear Gadget Show
Why have you taken what was one of my top 3 programs on TV and turned it into a bag of crap?
Whilst there has been a steady decline in the quality of what you have put out over the past 2 series last nights episode really took the biscuit in terms of utter crapness. Surely the whole point of your program is to test gadgets, at least that's what the original program was about. I'm assuming that something has been said along these lines recently because you now feel the need to mention during each episode that "testing gadgets is at the heart of everything you do". Whilst at the same time dedicating most of the program to some form of ridiculous ego challenge. Here's a small tip for you, why not do some gadget reviews and then you wouldn't have to keep on reminding people that's what your program is about?
Lets take last nights episode as an example. The majority of the program is dominated by a challenge. The first part of this challenge is to see what gadgets can help you RUN 400m the quickest. Except in some act of PC bullshit you have the old man win by wiggling a wii-mote. Because everybody with Wii-Fit doesn't know you can cheat by wiggling the mote instead of running? The only actual running technology on show, worn by Ortis, gets a few seconds of air time. Why didn't you just have him do a peice about his tech and show the time difference between wearing and not wearing it and what effect you are getting for your money? You know, like a real test, how hard would that be? The next 2 parts of the challenge are even more pointless, the cherry on the cake being Suzi flying through the air by crane hoist during the long jump challenge. Why the fucking hell even bother? It's not factual (like Bang Goes The Theory), it's not even entertaining (like Top Gear) it's just a giant ego trip for presenters who have become too fond of their own voices. The PCness of it makes me want to puke, if you're going to do a challenge make it a genuine challenge and if somebody is shit at it, let them be shit at it. They might be that crap that it becomes entertaining? On the other hand why not do away with the pointless challenges altogether and get back to reviewing new gadgets? We live in a gadget rich age, there is plenty of new stuff out each week.
In this respect I wouldn't even mind if you want to get rid off 1 or 2 of the presenters. Last nights episode contained two actual product review segments. The first by John where he looked at noise cancelling headphones was very well done, informative and of great use to somebody looking to buy a new pair of noise cancelling headphones. The second piece about the surround display for gaming done by Jason was frankly, useless. What did it tell us about this new gadget? It's clear that for 3 of the 4 current presenters it's become much more about being on TV, Jason has become his own biggest fan, Suzi has lost all her passion for gadgets, it's easy to spot the difference when you see her presenting a motorbike program. Ortis has clearly never had any interest in Gadgets at all or is a bag of nerves in front of the camera, the somebody telling him "you need to say this about this" nature of his pieces to camera are ripe for a bit of fast forwarding. That leaves John, the only real product reviewer left on the program.
The truth is that thanks to Sky+ the Gadget Show is now a 10 minute watch for people like me. People interested in buying and using the latest gadgets need to know what they're getting for their money, not how many world records a bunch of amateurs can get when backed up by huge teams of professionals! This will be my last series of the Gadget Show, it was good, now you've wrecked it. Wankers.
Whilst there has been a steady decline in the quality of what you have put out over the past 2 series last nights episode really took the biscuit in terms of utter crapness. Surely the whole point of your program is to test gadgets, at least that's what the original program was about. I'm assuming that something has been said along these lines recently because you now feel the need to mention during each episode that "testing gadgets is at the heart of everything you do". Whilst at the same time dedicating most of the program to some form of ridiculous ego challenge. Here's a small tip for you, why not do some gadget reviews and then you wouldn't have to keep on reminding people that's what your program is about?
Lets take last nights episode as an example. The majority of the program is dominated by a challenge. The first part of this challenge is to see what gadgets can help you RUN 400m the quickest. Except in some act of PC bullshit you have the old man win by wiggling a wii-mote. Because everybody with Wii-Fit doesn't know you can cheat by wiggling the mote instead of running? The only actual running technology on show, worn by Ortis, gets a few seconds of air time. Why didn't you just have him do a peice about his tech and show the time difference between wearing and not wearing it and what effect you are getting for your money? You know, like a real test, how hard would that be? The next 2 parts of the challenge are even more pointless, the cherry on the cake being Suzi flying through the air by crane hoist during the long jump challenge. Why the fucking hell even bother? It's not factual (like Bang Goes The Theory), it's not even entertaining (like Top Gear) it's just a giant ego trip for presenters who have become too fond of their own voices. The PCness of it makes me want to puke, if you're going to do a challenge make it a genuine challenge and if somebody is shit at it, let them be shit at it. They might be that crap that it becomes entertaining? On the other hand why not do away with the pointless challenges altogether and get back to reviewing new gadgets? We live in a gadget rich age, there is plenty of new stuff out each week.
In this respect I wouldn't even mind if you want to get rid off 1 or 2 of the presenters. Last nights episode contained two actual product review segments. The first by John where he looked at noise cancelling headphones was very well done, informative and of great use to somebody looking to buy a new pair of noise cancelling headphones. The second piece about the surround display for gaming done by Jason was frankly, useless. What did it tell us about this new gadget? It's clear that for 3 of the 4 current presenters it's become much more about being on TV, Jason has become his own biggest fan, Suzi has lost all her passion for gadgets, it's easy to spot the difference when you see her presenting a motorbike program. Ortis has clearly never had any interest in Gadgets at all or is a bag of nerves in front of the camera, the somebody telling him "you need to say this about this" nature of his pieces to camera are ripe for a bit of fast forwarding. That leaves John, the only real product reviewer left on the program.
The truth is that thanks to Sky+ the Gadget Show is now a 10 minute watch for people like me. People interested in buying and using the latest gadgets need to know what they're getting for their money, not how many world records a bunch of amateurs can get when backed up by huge teams of professionals! This will be my last series of the Gadget Show, it was good, now you've wrecked it. Wankers.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
What Did New Mums Used To Do Before Facebook?
...because all they seem to do now is sit there updating the world with the status of their kids as if they are the first people in the world to have ever brought up a child. I imagine they do it so that the other new mums who they went to school with but haven't spoken to in 15 years can "like" it.
I'm not talking about the people who post the odd weekly update, I'm talking about the collective who feel the need to post updates every half hour about little Timmy's shit/jab/puke status. Either that or what a prick the father has been. Somebody far cleverer than me should do a study into the correlation between women of a certain age using Facebook and their likely hood to get knocked up by some twat that then pisses off.
As Facebook matures it'll get even better, we'll be able to follow the half hour updates for the first 6 months of the relationship and how this boyfriend is the bestest boyfriend in the world ever (luvs u bbs xxx), the announcement of being pregnant, then the next 18 months getting regular updates on what a prick the ex boyfriend now is and how little Timmy is the best kid the world has ever seen, despite having a crap dad.
I shouldn't forget that it's also compulsery as a new mum to let the world know via Facebook how tired you are feeling, EVERY FUCKING DAY. Well you can't have that status left emtpy of a morning can you?
And don't even get me started on 30+ year olds who suddenly feel the need to speak in txt spk
Facebook should have been left for the hot college chicks to post pictures of themselves, it's been spoilt now.
I'm not talking about the people who post the odd weekly update, I'm talking about the collective who feel the need to post updates every half hour about little Timmy's shit/jab/puke status. Either that or what a prick the father has been. Somebody far cleverer than me should do a study into the correlation between women of a certain age using Facebook and their likely hood to get knocked up by some twat that then pisses off.
As Facebook matures it'll get even better, we'll be able to follow the half hour updates for the first 6 months of the relationship and how this boyfriend is the bestest boyfriend in the world ever (luvs u bbs xxx), the announcement of being pregnant, then the next 18 months getting regular updates on what a prick the ex boyfriend now is and how little Timmy is the best kid the world has ever seen, despite having a crap dad.
I shouldn't forget that it's also compulsery as a new mum to let the world know via Facebook how tired you are feeling, EVERY FUCKING DAY. Well you can't have that status left emtpy of a morning can you?
And don't even get me started on 30+ year olds who suddenly feel the need to speak in txt spk
Facebook should have been left for the hot college chicks to post pictures of themselves, it's been spoilt now.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Trip Around The Isle of Man
A brief tour around the south of the Isle of Man.
Leaving the inner harbour at Douglas at about 8:40 in the morning...
...only to find out that the Heysham sailing is due to leave at 8:45. Time to get a move on.
First obstacle out of the way now it's a race to get to Peel before the harbour closes.
The lighthouse on Douglas head. Looks much bigger from the sea.
Port Soderick, scene of the infamous 1997 bottling incident. Yes there were chavvy scum on the Isle of Man as far back as 1997. :)
Can't tell if Jeremy Clarkson is home or not. Cracking photo though by Mrs B considering we were bouncing along at the best part of 25 knots
Approaching the Sound and the Calf of Man from the east. Not the most friendly looking coast in the world.
Passing through der der der..The Sound. Scene of plenty of ship wrecks and numerous deaths. This was the first time I'd travelled through here in over 20 years. The weather turned cold, the sea changed and then the GPS died. On the plus side there was plenty of wild life about.
Mrs B at the wheel as we cruise past Port Erin. An hour in to the journey and we were making good progress.
Opposite Niarbyl looking back towards Bradda Head, Kitterland and the Calf of Man. We knew at this point that all being well we'd hit Peel with plenty of time to spare so took the time to have a drift about. It was high tide and slack water so the sea settled right down. Can't think of anywhere better to be on a day like that.
Peel Castle at 10:30 in the morning. Sometimes you can take the things on your doorstep for granted without having any idea of just how lucky you are.
Sitting outside the entrance to Peel Castle waiting for permission to enter the harbour. Getting plenty of waives from people on their hollibobs, Mrs B was very impressed with friendly Peel.
All we need to do now is find somewhere to park. A great first run out in the boat and hopefuly many more to follow.
Leaving the inner harbour at Douglas at about 8:40 in the morning...
...only to find out that the Heysham sailing is due to leave at 8:45. Time to get a move on.
First obstacle out of the way now it's a race to get to Peel before the harbour closes.
The lighthouse on Douglas head. Looks much bigger from the sea.
Port Soderick, scene of the infamous 1997 bottling incident. Yes there were chavvy scum on the Isle of Man as far back as 1997. :)
Can't tell if Jeremy Clarkson is home or not. Cracking photo though by Mrs B considering we were bouncing along at the best part of 25 knots
Approaching the Sound and the Calf of Man from the east. Not the most friendly looking coast in the world.
Passing through der der der..The Sound. Scene of plenty of ship wrecks and numerous deaths. This was the first time I'd travelled through here in over 20 years. The weather turned cold, the sea changed and then the GPS died. On the plus side there was plenty of wild life about.
Mrs B at the wheel as we cruise past Port Erin. An hour in to the journey and we were making good progress.
Opposite Niarbyl looking back towards Bradda Head, Kitterland and the Calf of Man. We knew at this point that all being well we'd hit Peel with plenty of time to spare so took the time to have a drift about. It was high tide and slack water so the sea settled right down. Can't think of anywhere better to be on a day like that.
Peel Castle at 10:30 in the morning. Sometimes you can take the things on your doorstep for granted without having any idea of just how lucky you are.
Sitting outside the entrance to Peel Castle waiting for permission to enter the harbour. Getting plenty of waives from people on their hollibobs, Mrs B was very impressed with friendly Peel.
All we need to do now is find somewhere to park. A great first run out in the boat and hopefuly many more to follow.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Is This Progress?
No money for life education. Cut backs on swimming lessons for the youngest primary school kids (we live on a small island FFS). Yet money to build and run a youth cafe so that 13 and 14 year olds have somewhere to sober up and get a cuddle from a social worker before going home..... I fucking give up.
I was brought up on the Isle of Man in the 80's and quite frankly the island as a whole didn't have a pot to piss in. Tourism had gone and the finance sector was merely a brain fart in the deepest recesses of a government that was lost with what to do. At that age I didn't realise just how skint most people were, you don't do you? Looking back....yep, most people worked their nuts off to get by. Here's the thing though, even in the post apocalyptic, pre finance sector Isle of Man there was money for swimming lessons and Happy Harold. There wasn't millions being spent on runways, security fences and making roads faster in the name of safety. I can't remember there being many youth cafe's for the poor deprived kids - Christ they'd have needed one on every street. What they did have was their priorities right, or at least I think so. If this is what they call progress then they can shove it up their asses.
I was brought up on the Isle of Man in the 80's and quite frankly the island as a whole didn't have a pot to piss in. Tourism had gone and the finance sector was merely a brain fart in the deepest recesses of a government that was lost with what to do. At that age I didn't realise just how skint most people were, you don't do you? Looking back....yep, most people worked their nuts off to get by. Here's the thing though, even in the post apocalyptic, pre finance sector Isle of Man there was money for swimming lessons and Happy Harold. There wasn't millions being spent on runways, security fences and making roads faster in the name of safety. I can't remember there being many youth cafe's for the poor deprived kids - Christ they'd have needed one on every street. What they did have was their priorities right, or at least I think so. If this is what they call progress then they can shove it up their asses.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Isle of Man Websites. Electrical
I wanted to buy a FreeSat SD box and as we are always told I thought about shopping local. I also thought to save time and effort I would visit the main retailer’s sites for information on products they sell.
Well you would have thought my internet connection had gone through a wormhole to 1990. Can they seriously expect to get away with these websites? You can get free templates anywhere on the net that would be better than these.
http://www.waltons.com/
http://www.mtveuronics.com/
And here is the other thing that REALLY pisses me off. I can almost forgive (actually I can’t) the fact that you have the shittiest of shitty websites, but if you are going to give me the option of contacting you via email. Then PLEASE have the decency to fucking reply!
I must have emailed both of the above websites 3 or 4 times over the last couple of years and NEVER got a reply.
I swear hanging is too good for them!
Well you would have thought my internet connection had gone through a wormhole to 1990. Can they seriously expect to get away with these websites? You can get free templates anywhere on the net that would be better than these.
http://www.waltons.com/
http://www.mtveuronics.com/
And here is the other thing that REALLY pisses me off. I can almost forgive (actually I can’t) the fact that you have the shittiest of shitty websites, but if you are going to give me the option of contacting you via email. Then PLEASE have the decency to fucking reply!
I must have emailed both of the above websites 3 or 4 times over the last couple of years and NEVER got a reply.
I swear hanging is too good for them!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, March 08, 2010
Rabbit vs Predator
Forget Alien vs Predator, this is the real battle of the heavyweights.
It was such a nice day on Saturday that I decided to have a break from work and take the camera for a walk. About a mile later I stumbled across this :-
Skinned - CHECK
Spine Ripped Out - CHECK
Conclusive evidence as if any was needed that there is an intergalactic battle going on in my neighbourhood. I'll work on my Arnie style death-pit tomorrow, as long as the weather stays nice.
It was such a nice day on Saturday that I decided to have a break from work and take the camera for a walk. About a mile later I stumbled across this :-
Skinned - CHECK
Spine Ripped Out - CHECK
Conclusive evidence as if any was needed that there is an intergalactic battle going on in my neighbourhood. I'll work on my Arnie style death-pit tomorrow, as long as the weather stays nice.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Beckii Cruel
So that video did nothing for me, then again I've never cracked one off with the thought of boning a child looking cartoon character in my head, the same can't be said for the legion of fans in Japan. Look at the target audience for Roricon, it's not exactly young girls! Now they've got a real face to "dream" about, awesome.
To criticise Beckii Cruel (or Rebecca Flint to give her real name) is to criticise the Isle of Man. "Good on her", "It's great for her, it's great for the Isle of Man", "Think of the free publicity". To be fair to the girl no criticism should be put to her, its her dad that needs his head read.
What it's taught me is that it's fine to have our kids pander to any sort of fantasy as long as no nudity is involved. Fuck working for a living, I'm off to see if I can find a lycra horse outfit for my 14 year old, don't worry, I'll make sure she puts tape over her nipples.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Apple
"Sir, it's not even turned on yet". "But it's glowing!". "That light confirms that it's off"
Apple summed up in one brief but oh so beautiful exchange.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Google Spell Checker
I can’t spell, never have been good at it. I put it down to be ever so slightly dyslexic. So basically when working on a computer I just type the way it sounds and the spell checker does the rest. However I have found Microsoft’s spell checker to be woefully inadequate at times. For example I was trying to type: deliberately obstreperous this morning but when I typed in my close approximation: derlibertatly obstrepidus, I had Mr Gates stumped!
So I always copy and paste into Google and sure enough it says, “Did you mean: deliberately obstreperous” and yes Google I did mean that, thank you!
So I always copy and paste into Google and sure enough it says, “Did you mean: deliberately obstreperous” and yes Google I did mean that, thank you!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Merry Christmas
By the looks of it a couple of the Manx Lads have had a great Christmas. Mine was the usual getting up late, hours opening presents, most of the afternoon cooking and then an evening of family joviality where I kick ass at whatever the games of choice are. This year it was mainly Buzz and I was on fire. Of course there was beer during the day but only at a rate where I was burning it off as fast as I was drinking it. Just a normal Christmas day if maybe a slighlty earlier finish than usual because of a few people having colds.
Boxing day was all about the presents. S was working, L was on her new laptop so I had the TV to myself. I started of with Modern Warfare 2 and managed to complete it in about 5 hours, pretty much what I was expecting. Brilliant game, enjoyed every minute of it. Then I started on Assassins Creed 2. Don't like it. Not at all. I'll play through it once so that I can see the whole game but after that I doubt I'll ever pick it up again. Over hyped style of substance nonsense. Today S is working again so I'll try and put in a few hours of Lego Indiana Jones, call me a kid if you like but I'm really looking forward to it.
All in that just about sums up the last couple of days. Enough beer, plenty of nice food and some decent gaming time. Happiness all round.
On a not so merry note we watched a film last night called Idiocracy, it's supposed to be a comedy but the reality that runs through it is a scary thought, the Chavs are going to finish us all off!
Boxing day was all about the presents. S was working, L was on her new laptop so I had the TV to myself. I started of with Modern Warfare 2 and managed to complete it in about 5 hours, pretty much what I was expecting. Brilliant game, enjoyed every minute of it. Then I started on Assassins Creed 2. Don't like it. Not at all. I'll play through it once so that I can see the whole game but after that I doubt I'll ever pick it up again. Over hyped style of substance nonsense. Today S is working again so I'll try and put in a few hours of Lego Indiana Jones, call me a kid if you like but I'm really looking forward to it.
All in that just about sums up the last couple of days. Enough beer, plenty of nice food and some decent gaming time. Happiness all round.
On a not so merry note we watched a film last night called Idiocracy, it's supposed to be a comedy but the reality that runs through it is a scary thought, the Chavs are going to finish us all off!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
It's Like A Real Band, With Instruments And Stuff
Having been forced to endure the Karaoke talent that tosspot Simon Cowell seems determined to enforce on the UK every Christmas it's nice to see that somebody is making a stand.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Trying To Shop Local
There is a major campaign going on at the moment to try and get people to shop local on the Isle of Man. With the UK government pillaging our VAT revenue every penny that stays on island is seen to be a good thing.
In our house there is a definite split about this type of thing. I'm a firm believer in the Internet. It gives me the choice, value and here's a shocker for some people Better Buying Rights*. I do shop local, but when it suites me, for example when the local retailer hasn't doubled the price and has the item I'm looking for.
The wife on the other hand loves the whole shopping process. She likes to wander around for hours picking things up, putting them down again, being hassled by over attentive staff or ignored by staff with better things to do.
It's horses for courses and I'd never try to convince her that my way is better. It's just different. This Christmas there has again been 2 camps. I've already completed just about all my shopping, 95% of it done completely hassle free, getting exactly the items I need online, with plenty of time to spare. Mrs B on the other hand has decided that there's no hurry because she can just go to town anytime and get what she needs. Except when we did go to town last Saturday the shops had exactly the square root of FUCK ALL of what we needed to buy. Fine if you don't need anything specific, if a jumper will do and not a blue Lacoste size 10 jumper (Just an example, I'm not after a blue jumper). I was determined to get in on some shop local action so we did buy a few generic things but just about nothing to tick of the lists. Guess who spent Saturday night buying everything we had tried to buy local online?
And again today. Our daughter wants something specific, it's only a box of chocolates for christs sake, can they be found anywhere within the limits of our majestic capital? Can they bollocks. It might even be too late now to order some so thanks to "shopping local" that's something that's just not going to get bought.
This might sound like I'm being a bit of a spoilt brat, you know, expecting to find the items I want to buy and not something that's along the same lines + playing more for the pleasure. I don't give a shit. I work bloody hard for every penny I make and when I'm buying people presents I'd like to be able to either get them what they've asked for or what I think they'd like. It's not like I'm looking for wacky things, just normal everyday stuff. Completely ignoring the whole price issue if the shops don't have the choice then what are you supposed to do?
*If you buy something online but don't like it for whatever reason then you get a 14 day cooling off period where you can return it, no questions asked. It's all part of some distance selling regulations. Some shops offer the same terms but a lot don't so you may find that you've actually got better rights for returning stuff if you buy online.
In our house there is a definite split about this type of thing. I'm a firm believer in the Internet. It gives me the choice, value and here's a shocker for some people Better Buying Rights*. I do shop local, but when it suites me, for example when the local retailer hasn't doubled the price and has the item I'm looking for.
The wife on the other hand loves the whole shopping process. She likes to wander around for hours picking things up, putting them down again, being hassled by over attentive staff or ignored by staff with better things to do.
It's horses for courses and I'd never try to convince her that my way is better. It's just different. This Christmas there has again been 2 camps. I've already completed just about all my shopping, 95% of it done completely hassle free, getting exactly the items I need online, with plenty of time to spare. Mrs B on the other hand has decided that there's no hurry because she can just go to town anytime and get what she needs. Except when we did go to town last Saturday the shops had exactly the square root of FUCK ALL of what we needed to buy. Fine if you don't need anything specific, if a jumper will do and not a blue Lacoste size 10 jumper (Just an example, I'm not after a blue jumper). I was determined to get in on some shop local action so we did buy a few generic things but just about nothing to tick of the lists. Guess who spent Saturday night buying everything we had tried to buy local online?
And again today. Our daughter wants something specific, it's only a box of chocolates for christs sake, can they be found anywhere within the limits of our majestic capital? Can they bollocks. It might even be too late now to order some so thanks to "shopping local" that's something that's just not going to get bought.
This might sound like I'm being a bit of a spoilt brat, you know, expecting to find the items I want to buy and not something that's along the same lines + playing more for the pleasure. I don't give a shit. I work bloody hard for every penny I make and when I'm buying people presents I'd like to be able to either get them what they've asked for or what I think they'd like. It's not like I'm looking for wacky things, just normal everyday stuff. Completely ignoring the whole price issue if the shops don't have the choice then what are you supposed to do?
*If you buy something online but don't like it for whatever reason then you get a 14 day cooling off period where you can return it, no questions asked. It's all part of some distance selling regulations. Some shops offer the same terms but a lot don't so you may find that you've actually got better rights for returning stuff if you buy online.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Why worry about the Economy?
Given Global Warming, the increase in Acidity in the Oceans, Iranian Nuclear Weapons and an overdue Ice Age, we can safely assume the following:
"The Human Race will soon be extinct"
I was watching a “TV Show” the other night. It showed the last cave where the last (known) Neanderthal community lived. Meaning, there was literally a last Neanderthal man. Who had one last day and one last sunset before dying. Cool.
I want to be the last Homo Sapien. How Poetic to be the last of a species?
On my last day, I shall stand proud (on a hilltop somewhere) and say to God and Mankind: “yay, though you might have had a BMW X5 and a holiday home in Dubai and three PHDs and....shit – I am the last ever human. You CANNOT top that – you tw@ts”
Admittedly, my righteous exultation will be somewhat wasted given that no-one will hear me. Apart from my Cat who is so stupid it won’t even realise that all of humanity is dead and that it’s been eating dead manxies for the last 3 weeks.
However, I shall feel GOOD about it. And that’s what counts.
p.s. I guess the loss of my family, friends, all hope and the utter failure of my species to survive might slightly take the edge off my moment of happiness. But hey, it's swings and roundabouts.
"The Human Race will soon be extinct"
I was watching a “TV Show” the other night. It showed the last cave where the last (known) Neanderthal community lived. Meaning, there was literally a last Neanderthal man. Who had one last day and one last sunset before dying. Cool.
I want to be the last Homo Sapien. How Poetic to be the last of a species?
On my last day, I shall stand proud (on a hilltop somewhere) and say to God and Mankind: “yay, though you might have had a BMW X5 and a holiday home in Dubai and three PHDs and....shit – I am the last ever human. You CANNOT top that – you tw@ts”
Admittedly, my righteous exultation will be somewhat wasted given that no-one will hear me. Apart from my Cat who is so stupid it won’t even realise that all of humanity is dead and that it’s been eating dead manxies for the last 3 weeks.
However, I shall feel GOOD about it. And that’s what counts.
p.s. I guess the loss of my family, friends, all hope and the utter failure of my species to survive might slightly take the edge off my moment of happiness. But hey, it's swings and roundabouts.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
An Island Of Moaners
Yeah I know, Pot calling Kettle black. But even too me this is extreme, check out some of those comments!
The Manx Love Spandau Ballet
The Manx Love Spandau Ballet
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Reason I Get Angry Sometimes
It's all in this document. Personally I think it should be forced upon every public sector worker who chooses to whinge about how hard done to they are.
A couple of highlights:-
"The 2005 report concludes that average pay across the public sector is some 15% above that in the private sector and this differential has widened over the last four years".
AND
"We simply cannot afford to lose sight of the fact that the prosperity of everyone in this community is dependent first and foremost on the efforts of the wealth generating private sector".
That 15% also doesn't include a final salary pension scheme that is unavailable anywhere else. Depending on your calculation that ads an extra 10%-20% differential meaning that in fact the real pay gap is somewhere between 25% and 35%. Thanks to the governments double pay award scheme (annual increment + pay rise) I'd also bet the house on the fact that the gap has widened again over the last 4 years.
Congratulations to anybody working in the private sector, not only are you the driving force behind this small island economy but you're also doing it for much less pay than you'd get get if you opted to sit on your ass in a government office.
A couple of highlights:-
"The 2005 report concludes that average pay across the public sector is some 15% above that in the private sector and this differential has widened over the last four years".
AND
"We simply cannot afford to lose sight of the fact that the prosperity of everyone in this community is dependent first and foremost on the efforts of the wealth generating private sector".
That 15% also doesn't include a final salary pension scheme that is unavailable anywhere else. Depending on your calculation that ads an extra 10%-20% differential meaning that in fact the real pay gap is somewhere between 25% and 35%. Thanks to the governments double pay award scheme (annual increment + pay rise) I'd also bet the house on the fact that the gap has widened again over the last 4 years.
Congratulations to anybody working in the private sector, not only are you the driving force behind this small island economy but you're also doing it for much less pay than you'd get get if you opted to sit on your ass in a government office.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
It's Not E-Gaming - It's Online Gambling
So the company I was working for had not long imploded, I was due to get married, tomorrow, and I'm trying on my suit when the phone goes. It's an employment agency asking me to go to an interview that afternoon, it's at a company that I've heard bad things about, in fact somebody I know once walked of their interview when realising the work conditions. I have nothing to lose, a wedding to pay for and a "what the hell" attitude. I go to the interview, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and just like every other interview I've ever had I get offered a job, on the top of the pay scale. I am fucking awesome at interviews even when I'm dressed like a tramp.
The next day I get married and go away on honeymoon. Over the next week or so I get several phone calls from my new soon to be employer asking when I'm going to be back. Call me a pessimist if you like but already my warning bells are going off, to be honest I'd never had any real trust in e-gaming (it was an e-gaming company, or as I like to call it online gambling) and even less faith in companies whose balance sheets tell you they are only surviving from venture capital. Yes I REALLY do this type of research before accepting a job, unfortunately the rushed nature of this meant I didn't really have much chance to do my checks. I wondered what could possibly be so important that they need my input, keeping in mind that I hadn't even started working for them yet and certainly wasn't on the payroll. Anyhoo, I kept with the nice demeanour and soon the honeymoon was over.
My first day wasn't exactly as I'd planned. For a start my uncle had died whilst we were away and that meant I had his funeral to attend the next day. He was my closest uncle and an usher at my wedding so it was a bit if a head fuck in what had already been a fairly messy year. It did get worse though, my first day also happened to be the lad I was replacing last day. He'd decided to jump ship early. At the time this didn't bother me in the slightest, the job I'd be doing was essentially a bit of web stuff and some database management so as long as the database was rationalised to some sort of accepted standard there would be no problems. The only possible reason I'd need any sort of a handover was if there database was a complete cluster fuck. Can you see where I'm going with this?
Over the next week I spend all my time familiarising myself with a database structure that just doesn't seem right. There was a lot of manual process going on in getting data out and my first thoughts are for automation. Two weeks in to my new job and the automation is complete. On the other hand my role (which is essentially to assist marketing) has now been expanded and I seem to be spending a lot of time with the IT department, headed by the biggest oaf I've ever worked with. A man so inept at everything his only redeemable feature is his ability to spew forth mountains of management bullshit. Of all the people I have worked with he was the one who clearly had the least clue of what he was talking about. He once bored me to the point where I was physically sick on leaving his office, I promise you that's true. Underneath he had a manager who was not far behind, clearly the company was being run on a premise of employing friends and family, or maybe just fuckwits. Even in saying all this there's always that niggle with a new boss that maybe it's just me that needs time to adjust, so I was more than happy to play the nice employee. Right up until the 3rd week of my employment that was.
In one morning I had 2 conversations that would result in me going out for lunch and never coming back. The first was from one of the big money backers, he received my automated reports each day and recognising the new name on the e-mail thought to contact me. He wanted somebody on the inside of the business who was out of the "loop" to report what was really going on. As far as he was concerned money was being thrown away hand over fist and he was wanted know why, he wanted to meet me that week and was coming over from Ireland. These are not the sort of games I get involved in. Then shortly after that the IT manager asked me to pull a report from the database showing the gambling turnover for last year. For a start I didn't work for the IT department and secondly I'd spent the last 2 weeks telling everybody who would listen that their database was a nonsense. My marketing manager was somebody who loved his data and would often ask for queries to be run, I'd do it and then he'd say something like "But when xxxx was here I'd see 5 times that number of signups". And I'd reply "Yes, that's because the database is crap and he wasn't doing it correctly". Why did nobody notice that with so many new customers they still couldn't make any money? But it gets better, not only did they want a report they also wanted me to sign it off as being accurate for company account purposes. Screw that. I was only the lowly database admin, I could now see why the other bloke couldn't get out the door quick enough, he knew it was coming up to that time of year. A morning of being asked to explain to a shareholder why the company was haemorrhaging money followed by being asked to make up some magic figures to reconcile with the bank account was enough for me.
But why even bother mentioning this? I suppose there are lessons about not rushing into things and the old if it quacks like a duck, swims like a duck and flies like a duck then 9 out of 10 times it's a duck thing but more importantly the man responsible for all the technology in that business at that time has just gone on to win some business bloke of the year award. I shit you not, it's not what you know, or to some extent even who you know. It's the amount of irrelevant dribbling bullshit that you can come out with that really matters.
ps Within 3 months of me leaving the entire front and back end gambling system was ripped out and replaced with a recognised system. I like to think that the report I left them on ways forward for them as a business had some influence in that decision.
The next day I get married and go away on honeymoon. Over the next week or so I get several phone calls from my new soon to be employer asking when I'm going to be back. Call me a pessimist if you like but already my warning bells are going off, to be honest I'd never had any real trust in e-gaming (it was an e-gaming company, or as I like to call it online gambling) and even less faith in companies whose balance sheets tell you they are only surviving from venture capital. Yes I REALLY do this type of research before accepting a job, unfortunately the rushed nature of this meant I didn't really have much chance to do my checks. I wondered what could possibly be so important that they need my input, keeping in mind that I hadn't even started working for them yet and certainly wasn't on the payroll. Anyhoo, I kept with the nice demeanour and soon the honeymoon was over.
My first day wasn't exactly as I'd planned. For a start my uncle had died whilst we were away and that meant I had his funeral to attend the next day. He was my closest uncle and an usher at my wedding so it was a bit if a head fuck in what had already been a fairly messy year. It did get worse though, my first day also happened to be the lad I was replacing last day. He'd decided to jump ship early. At the time this didn't bother me in the slightest, the job I'd be doing was essentially a bit of web stuff and some database management so as long as the database was rationalised to some sort of accepted standard there would be no problems. The only possible reason I'd need any sort of a handover was if there database was a complete cluster fuck. Can you see where I'm going with this?
Over the next week I spend all my time familiarising myself with a database structure that just doesn't seem right. There was a lot of manual process going on in getting data out and my first thoughts are for automation. Two weeks in to my new job and the automation is complete. On the other hand my role (which is essentially to assist marketing) has now been expanded and I seem to be spending a lot of time with the IT department, headed by the biggest oaf I've ever worked with. A man so inept at everything his only redeemable feature is his ability to spew forth mountains of management bullshit. Of all the people I have worked with he was the one who clearly had the least clue of what he was talking about. He once bored me to the point where I was physically sick on leaving his office, I promise you that's true. Underneath he had a manager who was not far behind, clearly the company was being run on a premise of employing friends and family, or maybe just fuckwits. Even in saying all this there's always that niggle with a new boss that maybe it's just me that needs time to adjust, so I was more than happy to play the nice employee. Right up until the 3rd week of my employment that was.
In one morning I had 2 conversations that would result in me going out for lunch and never coming back. The first was from one of the big money backers, he received my automated reports each day and recognising the new name on the e-mail thought to contact me. He wanted somebody on the inside of the business who was out of the "loop" to report what was really going on. As far as he was concerned money was being thrown away hand over fist and he was wanted know why, he wanted to meet me that week and was coming over from Ireland. These are not the sort of games I get involved in. Then shortly after that the IT manager asked me to pull a report from the database showing the gambling turnover for last year. For a start I didn't work for the IT department and secondly I'd spent the last 2 weeks telling everybody who would listen that their database was a nonsense. My marketing manager was somebody who loved his data and would often ask for queries to be run, I'd do it and then he'd say something like "But when xxxx was here I'd see 5 times that number of signups". And I'd reply "Yes, that's because the database is crap and he wasn't doing it correctly". Why did nobody notice that with so many new customers they still couldn't make any money? But it gets better, not only did they want a report they also wanted me to sign it off as being accurate for company account purposes. Screw that. I was only the lowly database admin, I could now see why the other bloke couldn't get out the door quick enough, he knew it was coming up to that time of year. A morning of being asked to explain to a shareholder why the company was haemorrhaging money followed by being asked to make up some magic figures to reconcile with the bank account was enough for me.
But why even bother mentioning this? I suppose there are lessons about not rushing into things and the old if it quacks like a duck, swims like a duck and flies like a duck then 9 out of 10 times it's a duck thing but more importantly the man responsible for all the technology in that business at that time has just gone on to win some business bloke of the year award. I shit you not, it's not what you know, or to some extent even who you know. It's the amount of irrelevant dribbling bullshit that you can come out with that really matters.
ps Within 3 months of me leaving the entire front and back end gambling system was ripped out and replaced with a recognised system. I like to think that the report I left them on ways forward for them as a business had some influence in that decision.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
National Insurance Contributions To Increase On The Isle of Man
Actually happened yesterday but the local media can't be bothered reporting on something that impacts on every single working person of the Isle of Man.
Isle of Man NI Increase
The good news is that the money has been allocated for Health Services, although with my knowledge of government accounting I wouldn't like to say what the actual chances of that happening are.
Isle of Man NI Increase
The good news is that the money has been allocated for Health Services, although with my knowledge of government accounting I wouldn't like to say what the actual chances of that happening are.
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