TT 2013 Is Nearly Here

My favorite time of year on the island, when the place has some life about it and normal island life is forgotten about for 2 weeks.  Unfortunately it's also the time of year when the island's roads are turned into the motoring equivalent of a mental asylum.

With this in mind I had a brain wave yesterday to strap a 3D camera to the car and do a lap of the TT course before it gets too chaotic.  The plan was to upload it to YouTube because there are plenty of TT nerds out there who appreciate this sort of thing.  It was supposed to be a nice leisurely drive taking in all the scenery of the worlds most famous road racing circuit, leisurely it certainly was but as for scenic...not so much.  Not unless you count looking at the backs of HGV's.  Overall it took nearly an hour and a half to do the 37 and a bit miles, that's an average speed of somewhere around 25 mph!  Read it and weep speed freaks!  That is the reality of driving on the Isle of Man, even on what should have been a nice quiet Wednesday afternoon with people in work and kids in school.  For all but about 10-15 minutes of that I was stuck in a queue of traffic behind one thing or another, 3 HGV's, 1 tractor, lost count of cyclists and 1 old person who wasn't going to go above 25 mph in any circumstances as if his life depended on it.  All in there were about 3 safe opportunities to overtake in that 37 miles.  It took so long that just as it got interesting up on the Mountain the cameras battery gave up, that'll be sods law for you!

Overall then it was a fairly shit experience.  The footage was for the most part useless, I wasted petrol going nowhere quick and then there was the cunt over the Mountain.  I was happily following a visiting biker who was doing 60ish (fast enough), I don't think they were sure where they were going so I was happy to give them some room.  Not so the twat behind me who decided he must get past.  So when I slowed down to give the bike in front time to turn right onto a side road the idiot behind decided he was going for it, totally oblivious to the bike slowly turning right across his path.  Having been watching this bell-end in the mirror for a minute I could almost guess what he was going to do so I just had enough time to slam on the anchors and let him back onto the left side of the road in front of me before he hit the bike.  I did get a nice nod and wave from the passenger on the bike who probably needed some new knickers, welcome to the Isle of Man mate! And the carnage hasn't even started yet.

=====

And so it begins...took all of 1 day:-

http://www.iomtoday.co.im/news/isle-of-man-news/hunt-for-car-after-biker-is-hurt-1-5712605 

and to keep up to date with the fun and games

Isle of Man Police Facebook Page

Iron Man 3

Thought it was OK, a bit long for one of these types of film and also quite surprisingly lacking in action.  Iron Man seemed to spend most of the film moping around feeling sorry for himself for no apparant reason.  Would I go to the cinema to watch it again? No.  Will I buy the Blu-Ray? Possibly, if only to watch it in 2D because the 3D brought nothing to the party except a pain above my ears where the cheapo glasses dug into my fat head.

In other Iron Man news me giving up the gym didn't last very long, but it is on its last chance now, if I'm not cut by the end of the month I'm definitely packing it in.

The End Of An Era

Father time has caught up with me and it's time to face facts, I'm getting old.  For all my adult life I've been a member of one gym or another but on Friday I decided to finally call it a day after the worst set of results I've ever seen.

Since January I've been working my ass off, pyramid sets, ascending drop sets, an intense cardio regime, in short about 2 hours a day of serious gym time...the results of this, absolutely fuck all.  Body weight the same, body fat percentage the same, lean muscle the same.  Yes I can lift a little more but I'm not here to compete in worlds strongest man, the idea was trim and tone and that's what I geared towards, burning an extra 6-7000 calories a week should more than do that.  In my early 20's this sort of regime would have had drastic results in 6-8 weeks, now I might as well as sat on the sofa and ate pie for all the difference it's made.  So to the gym I say fuck you, it's been fun but from now on I'll save the 35 quid a month, 14 hours a week, cheers.   

Fucking Sky

Got rid of it 5 months ago, haven't missed it one bit. 

Every week they phone up asking us to "Come Back To Sky", 2-3 times a week we get an exlcusive "Come Back To Sky" offer through the post.  I got fed up today and phoned them up to say stop it, they wanted my account password, I don't have an account I cancelled it?  They can't change my contact preferences without having my account password, I don't have an account I explained again. 

Except I do.  When you take out a Sky subscription for one of their services they assign you a Sky ID and it is never deleted.  If you sign up for an online account you can see that THEY can see all your details and it is impossible to have this account removed.  You can never ever actually leave Sky, they will just hold on to your details as long as your account is left open, an account you can't close.  Fuckers.  Nice to see the Data Protection Act doing it's job heh?  Somebody should really have a word with them about what information they are allowed to retain and for how long.

Want To Earn More And Work Less?

Nope this isn't some scammy "get rich quick" internet marketing system, it's actual real life shit.  How would you like to cut down your hours by about 10%, earn considerably more and gain a whole raft of benefits you could only dream about including a final salary pension?  Not only that but you also get to forget about the company you work for going bust, the pressures of working in a commercial environment, "late" salary payments because of a bad month and needing to ass kiss clients because you need the business!

As an exclusive bonus to this once in a lifetime offer I'm also throwing in the opportunity to have your breakfast during working time and extra days off for having your lunch at your desk....I like to call it the flexi-time meal bonus.

Your only obligation is to turn up, not upset anybody and if you can  try and look at least a little busy that would be nice.

For further details please check out page 11 of this document. **HURRY** This opportunity will only be available for as long as the population of the Isle of Man are happy to fund the inbred old boys club currently running the show.

(Un)Interesting Observation

I've signed up again with e-bay, it'll only be a matter of time before the account is hacked and all sorts of hassle goes down but in the meantime I needed a few electronics bits that I could only find on there.  One expensive (£120) comes from the USA with paid ($20) postage.  Once cheap (£11) comes from China with free postage.  Both packages are about the same size and posted on the same day.

Bit surprised then to find out that the Chinese parcel gets here a whole 5 days before the American one.  What does this tell us?  Not a lot, except perhaps not to be so dubious of ordering stuff from China, which opens up a whole new world of purchasing obscure crap.

Far Cry 3 Review

If Far Cry 2 had a very simple child that was initially fun to play with but very soon the limited simplicity became very, very boring then that would be Far Cry 3.  In short they have taken everything away that made Far Cry, then Far Cry 2 challenging (and fun for more than a few hours) and left you with a-n-other CoD mongathon.  I loved it for a couple of hours but now having forced myself through the whole game (the child analogy stops here) it's heading straight for the swapsie pile at Game.

I could say the same about Mass Effect 3 but I'll save that for a different but equally fucking hilarious post.

Christmas Wrap-Up

Ho ho ho and all that shit. Here's a quick round-up of how things are going -

The lads Christmas day out was on the 8th of December this year and went very well for the rest of the lads (as far as I can gather nobody was arrested, hospitalised or divorced post event). My guts are still crap and even though I only had 4 or 5 drinks all day before calling it an early finish I have suffered, oh how I've suffered!  In fact today is the first day I've not looked pregnant and managed to unload something half normal, I'm going to call him Mr Hanky.  I could live without drinking the rest of the year but I used to enjoy a few at Christmas.

The people who dicked me over have now themselves been shafted to a whole new level of financial pain and misery. Shame.  I may send them a Christmas card with a pound note in it to show there is no hard feelings.  I don't like the world of finance so plans have been made in the New Year to take a step back to what I do enjoy.

All presents are bought, not wrapped, that's my rock and roll weekend planned.  I say all, I mean all the presents I needed to get, which is everything except the wifes family and friends.  The Mrs has once again decided the best policy was to wait until this week and then shop local.  No point arguing because she will never learn. I'm not doing a last minute online order with extra postage to make up for it this year, I like to see it as training.  Expect a similar blog post this time next year.

Other than that all systems go, a few bits of food left to get but then we're ready for action.  If I don't see you beforehand have a very Merry Christmas and all things being well I'll see the lads for the new years party.

Do Yourself A Favour

Enjoy a bit of Christmas spirit, take a look at this lady's amazing story:-



Support the Facebook page then buy the track from either Amazon or iTunes

Buy From Amazon

Buy From iTunes

I fucking hate cancer, just the word is bad enough never mind the puking shit, rotting away, body eating itself reality.  To meet it head on with a smile on your face is more than I think I or most could handle but the way this girl just ploughs on is pure inspiration.

Better Stick To Digging Holes

There's nothing that says "thank you for making us a really successful company from nothing, oh and rich!!!" better than 3 years into a long term deal declaring "fuck you we can't find our copy of the agreement no more money for you."  Knowing fine well that anything I show them will be pulled apart because they plain and simple want to keep everything for themselves.  Oh the joy.

Even worse in the world of business and finance acceptable ways of dealing with this seem to be:-

1.  I'm going to tell my lawyer on you
2.  Fake pleasant e-mails that have to end in Kind Regards
3. Cry

Where as according to people wiser than me these are not acceptable ways of resolving the issue:-

1.  Physical violence
2.  Nipping around the office for a quiet "word"
3.  Destroying their business & personal reputations

Sniveling little 2 bit office waller shit bags that wouldn't know about honor if it jumped up and took a dump on their face, and the world is full of them, they are everywhere. It's no wonder Corporate Lawyers earn so much with so many people willing to dick people over.  Anyhoo, it's a valuable lesson learned, it's also a very small island which makes this sort of nonsense even stupider.  But what can you do?  Dig holes that's what.

New York Webcam

Live broadcast by Ustream

Worst Hurricane ever?  Looks like a normal summers day on the Isle of Man.

(And I still haven't seen Godzilla)

DIY Or Not To DIY?

After 10 years of looking at the same wallpaper it's finally been decided that a holiday will be dropped from the schedule and we are going to decorate.  When I say we I don't mean me because of all the things in all the worlds, the one thing I won't and will never do is hanging wallpaper.  Painting yes, wallpaper no.  It goes back to GCSE art when in order to qualify to do the course you had to draw a box in 3D, I had every angle back to front so it had the perspective of being in the box looking out., my teacher was disgusted, I am fucking shit at anything that requires an artistic eye, I have artistic dyslexia.  To be honest I also wasn't that keen on getting involved in the knocking stuff down, making things good, general bits and pieces side of things either, I have a rapidly failing business, cash I have (for the time being), time I don't.  My plan was simple, spend cash and get a pro in to do it.

The wife had other ideas, why pay for labour when you can do it yourself and then spend that money on many lovely things for your new living room.  Just to be clear here I wasn't exactly being stingy with the budget but anyhoo, every penny saved on labour is a penny to be spent on stuff!  Giving the wife credit she did throw herself into this and did a great job of stripping the walls but even so I found myself getting too involved.  I didn't want anything to do with it, spend money, do nothing.  So when the plan on relying on favours finally looked like it was going to drag out I convinced her that it would be better to go with my plan and just pay somebody.  I would stump up the extra cash on top of the original budget.  How hard can it be, get estimates from painters and decorators and have them do it, it's what they do day in and day out surely?  Or so you'd think.  In my keenness to pay somebody I'd forgotten my one golden rule of dealing with the trades, nothing is every straight forward.  The only estimate we've had back so far has been the usual shit* where as what I want is "here is a room, make it look nice, I'm going out to work, see you later".  To be fair though the other 2 lads that have come around have looked a lot keener to actually do the work, just waiting to hear back from them now, fingers crossed.  It's still got me thinking, like I said we don't decorate on this scale very often so what the hell to other people do?  That first painter & decorator we had in seemed genuinely surprised that everything wasn't pristine for him to just slap some wallpaper on, surely by the time you've prepped everything you might as well just do the decorating yourself?  And by yourself I mean my wife.  Is it just us again or do painters and decorators usually walk into rooms where everything is exactly how they want it ready for chucking up some wallpaper?  The key here is I don't mind paying, I'm not expecting freebies chucked in, I just want to pay you to do the work so I don't have to! 

*An example of the usual shit:- We had a fence blow down, we got somebody in to replace it (I was too busy with work).  The conversation went along the lines, yes we can do your fence no problem, if you just get up to B&Q and get the panels you want, you'll also need some new posts so if you can sort them out and get them set ready for us, it's probably only 1 days work to put the fence up (it was 3 panels).  Oh and you'll need to get rid of the old fence first.  All I could do was shake my head and laugh as I tried to explain to him that if I was sorting out the panels (we don't have a van), tipping the old fence and putting in new posts I might as well attach the panels to the posts myself.  It was lost on him, he did actually think I was going to pay him a days labour to screw on 3 fence panels. I replaced the fence.

Stuff

Well I had to give up trying to get blood tests at the hospital, after spending a whole day phoning an engaged/off the hook phone eventually I gave the doctors a call and they said they could do my blood tests the next day, result.  Monday was in fact results day and they even phoned me, how's that for good service?  The good news is that I will live at least another couple of months, the bad news is that there is something wrong and I have to go for more tests in a couple of months to confirm that was is wrong is really wrong and then if it is...well I don't know what happens from there, probably lots of painkillers for ever.  Frankly after having to spend another night trying to sleep on the floor because of the pain I couldn't give a toss what it is as long as there's an answer to it.  It also means that I may get to have an x-ray done without having to wait 6 months+ for a consultant but I'll not hold my breath on that one.

Other than being in pain I've been playing a lot of Borderlands 2.  It's very similar to the first one but with some minor tweaks and quite a few more bugs (not the type that you shoot).  I've got loads of work to do at the moment and I knew I shouldn't have bought it, I forgot that I'd pre-ordered, it's just one of those games that steals days from you.  Before you know it half an hour turns into 5 hours and you're still chasing those few extra experience points to level-up.  I just keep on telling myself that the sooner I complete it the better because I can get back to work without any distractions.  I was the same with the first game so there's nothing new in any of this, I'm just getting older and easily distracted by anything that's not work, I think my productive years are behind me! Anyhoo, it is very good and if there's anybody looking for a game to eat up the hours and enjoys FPS/RPG type stuff then give it a go.    

Finally, I just checked on my fishing diary and it looks like we've had a total of 3 weeks summer this year. A week the end of March, a fairly nice week the end of May and that good week in August, that's yer lot.  The rest of it was a pile of wank.  What a happy thought that is with Christmas rapidly approaching and only 6 months to go till the next chance of a nice week.

Doctors

Finally took the time to go back to the doctors yesterday to try and get my back sorted once and for all (it's only been a year).  New Doctor is ace, hardly any wait, very friendly, wanting to look into things straight away...not a pain killer prescription in sight.

Then today I tried to get the ball rolling, a trip to the hospital first to schedule the x-ray.  Denied.  I am not over 55 so they will not x-ray my spine (no matter what the doctor who has just examined me says).  I'm 100% fucking sure that whatever dose of radiation they need is going to be of fook all consequence compared to the pain I've got to live in, but heh ho, it's the Isle of Man, "Where You Can!"  So I decided to go and book my blood tests instead, denied.  Having wasted an hour up at the hospital enough was enough so I came home to try and book the blood clinic appointment over the phone.  Denied.  25 minutes of trying with no joy, I'll try again later but the phone appears to be off the hook.

Finally, fucked off with having wasted yet another large chunk of my day trying to get this shit sorted I headed off to the chemist to pick up the prescription, this can't go wrong?  Denied.  The medication in question is in long term short supply on the island so I can either drive around the island hoping somebody has some old stock or go back to the doctor for a different prescription.

The Isle of Man....full off useless cunts.  Here's an idea, sack a few scrounging wastrels who do fuck all but push paper around and buy some fucking medicine so that I can then pay you for it.  Twats.

Update---- The phone is now back on the hook, but permanently engaged, at least it's progress!

 

Gym Toilets

Frankly Egypt smells better.  I don't know what they put in those protein shake things but if that's what falls out the other end then it can't be good for you.

Fat Kids In Liverpool T-Shirts

What is it that makes the little fuckers so determined to not see their next birthday?  If they're not jumping out into traffic they're falling of walls or running face first into a lamppost!  The dad in me really wanted to check to see if he was alright, the Manchester United supporter in me wanted to just roll on the floor pissing myself laughing*

* To be fair his own dad was also creased up laughing, well right up until the point where the screaching started anyway.

This Is Why Google Is Fucking Evil

See last post for context.

Porsche, Range Rover Or......

When you're a dot com billionaire how you get around is very important.  Me, I've always chosen to fly below the radar, first of all opting for the bus.  Then when the bus became more expensive than running a car (40k for a fucking bus driver, no wonder!) I decided to inherit the wifes old Rover.  What a beast, complete with the dodgiest wiring this side of Chernobyl, windows that didn't work and the sort of bubbling rust that would make the Titanic jealous. 

But all good things come to an end and so it was with the Rover, it was time for the knackers yard and time for me to splash some of that cash on a quality vehicle.  I never knew it would be so hard to pick a car.  When I was younger I would just go for something fast, sticky and stupidly expensive to insure.  That is where I started the search, from hot-hatches (I'm too old), to my dream Porsche (too young for my mid life crisis), to the practical Range Rover (great for towing the boat...cough...twice a year, but our drive is too small and the wife would want a bigger house ;)), to a Van.  I really really wanted a van to the point where I went to look at a couple but there was just always that nagging doubt of extra road tax, I'd probably use it for carrying stuff twice a year and what happens if I'm on taxi duty for the daughter and friends?  Bugger.

So after weeks of scouring adverts and going to look at things that I always want straight away and then change my mind after hours of deep thought later on do you know what I've settled on?  A Ford Fiesta.  Cheap to insure, cheap to run, it's practical enough for 99% of my day to day stuff.  It is a "nice" car.  Nice.  A nice car.  Fucking hell sometimes I hate me!

The Isle of Man Gets Another Mention At The Olympics

Olympic Diving Fail - watch more funny videos

Tact

I have none, fact.  Also, how the fuck did I manage to work in offices for 7+ years with so many bitchy 30/40 something women?  It is like being back in the playground and maybe it's just my older less tolerant self but I don't think I'd last a week in that sort of place any more.  How do you fellas do it?  If early retirement as a millionaire isn't motivation enough to pull my finger out I guess keeping me out of offices full of fucking idiots will do.