Yesterday

I was going to spend my last morning off work playing Tomb Raider, but I decided to start by watching a new series I had recorded, Criminal Minds, and doing some ironing for an hour and then get stuck into Lara before collecting Daniel from Nursery.

However, I was enjoying the series so much, and the ironing that I gave up on Lara, and spent 3 hours ironing and watching TV.

What a fantastic way to spend a morning.

Plus in other news that I forgot to mention, we bought a Rabbit Hutch on Saturday, and when I went to pick it up, I told the Lady behind the counter that we had bought the hutch on Saturday, and I was here to pick it up. “Oh the Posh One”, which speaks volumes. Therefore, after spending £70 on a Rabbit (why do I always feel like putting double tt at the end of Rabbit) hutch it turns out we aren’t getting any Rabbit’s. We are now going for more children friendly Guinea Pigs. We best get something to put in the damn thing.

Off to the Lawyers in a few hours so I’ll let you all know what they say.

I think that’s it.

Long Weekend

I decided that work wasn’t for me at the moment and took a long weekend as a last minute thing on Thursday. Friday was fantastic, just relaxing and waiting for Tomb Raider Legends to be delivered. When it finally was delivered, I ripped it open and threw it in the Xbox 360 and waited for it to boot up. However, it came up with an error message, it turns out that Play.com had sent 200 of the Xbox versions out instead of the 360 version, DOH! So I shot downtown and bought it there.

Can I just add to those Lara Croft fans that she looks super hot.

Saturday was another lazy day, we picked Callum up, but he spent virtually all day in his room watching football, I hardly know him any more. And Saturday night we watched Underworld Evolution, which was at best just OK.

Sunday was a weird weather day; there was glorious sunshine in the morning, then rain and finally Snow. With the biggest snow flakes ever, honestly.

And today is another Day off, and I shall fill the morning with, ironing, hovering, empting the dishwasher, and playing with Lara.

Oh! One other final comment, I finally managed to bring defecation into the 21st Century. You know how a man can’t go to the toilet unless he has something to read? Well, I’ve gone one better, I’ve left the Nintendo DS in there, which has a load of mini-games on, that you can while away the 20/30 mins doing your movements.

That’ it really I’m going to enjoy the rest of the day, see the Lawyer tomorrow, and then it’s another long weekend starting on Friday.

Later Days

Oh Land of Thy Birth

Last Tuesday I visited the City of my birth. I was born in Scarborough, Ontario, Canada. Scarborough is to Toronto what Onchan is to Douglas. Only Scarborough is the size of Leeds.

Frequently, my mother has commented that she wished our family had never left Canada and gone to the Rock. We actually left there when I was six weeks old and I've never seen it since.

Until (as I may have mentioned) last Tuesday.

What can I say that won't have me branded a fully paid up member of the KKK?

You see...we had to get a bus from the train station to the zoo. The bus was pretty full. There were actually 31 people on it. Five were white* Five. There's four people in my family for Gods sake. If it wasn't for us white trash tourists there would've been only one white guy on board! And he got off before us. And the train, train station and passers-by I could see showed we hadn't accidentally got on the Rasta Bus. We were surrounded.

The thing about going to another country is that you aren't really justified in ranting about it's way of life. If you don't like it, there's a boat in the morning.

So I can't wait to get home to really rip into the DHSS, MHKs, the price of beer in nightclubs, the lack of totty in Strand Street and the general state of the roads. And I'll have the right to do it.

Thankyou and good night.

*Out of interest, my definition of white goes from Finland to Greece. We're not just talking Anglo-Saxons.

Rant about Lawyers & Social Security

Years ago, I left my then wife, and I walked out with nothing. She kept the House, Car, House Contents, Life Assurance etc, literally everything except my clothes.
As part of this I signed a Divorce Agreement that states:

The husband and wife hereby acknowledge that save as appears hereinafter they have no further financial or property claims on against the other whatsoever.

Which has been fine for the last 11 years, I have not paid maintenance but I do pay half of Callum’s school stuff. This is mainly as I want to feel as if I am involved in his Schooling, involved as it were with his growing up. Plus of course I have bought him clothes etc as and when needed.

Like I said this has been fine for 11 years.

That’s the back story.

Now the other week the ex-wife went to claim Income Support from the DHSS and during the process revealed that I don’t pay maintenance. Now I only have her word on this, but I tend to think it’s true, but she said to the DHSS that she is happy with that and that she doesn’t want to rock the boat as we get along just fine the way it is. However, the DHSS said that she has to seek legal aid and claim the maintenance off me, otherwise they wouldn’t pay her benefits.

So she had no choice but jump through the hoops to get her Income Support.

She then went to the same Lawyers that drafted the original Divorce agreement and told them what the DHSS said.

They have now written to me, and said that the original document didn’t include Maintenance for our Son and that I have to start paying it, and that the DHSS sets the minimum acceptable level of maintenance at £42.40 per week, or £183.73 per calendar month.

Which quite frankly we can’t really afford as we over spend every month as it is.

BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.

Who the fuck do the DHSS think they are getting involved in that in the first place? Coooonts.

And what the fuck about the Lawyers, they are now saying that the agreement they wrote doesn’t mean what they said. Coooonts.

Now I have to go to the lawyers at £175 per hour to see where I stand….. Coooonts

All of them are coooooooonts.

If in a worse case scenario I have to start paying, then I should get half of our joint assets at the time of the split, as I only signed everything over in lew of paying maintenance, if I now have to pay maintenance, and add that to the fact I got nothing out of marriage it looks like I was well and truly screwed.

Christ. I just know this is going to end in tears and large wholes in my wages.
Coooooooonts everywhere. Bastards.

Karma

As stated before on this blog, I am a big believer in Karma, what goes around, comes around. So after standing my wife up for lunch yesterday lunch time, Karma in her infinite wisdom decided to her own back on me.

As stated yesterday I was meant to meet an old School friend for a few pints last night. I was dropped off at the Pub at 7:55pm fully expecting to meet John at 8.00pm. However, he didn’t turn up and I had to wait till 9:20pm before the other two lads turned up.

Ain’t payback a bitch!

But I held my hands up and took my punishment on the chin.

One Thing to Do

I had one thing to do today, well apart from look busy and not get caught reading the Internet all day, and that was to meet my wife for lunch…

Did I remember, did I bollocks.

In fact, Ady rang up just as I was leaving to go to the Gym seeing if I wanted to do lunch, you think that would have rung a few Alarm Bells.

What a stupid coooont I am.

I am really sorry honey for standing you up.

I might have a big rant tomorrow on Lawyers and Social Services.

Tarantulas

Since the children are getting their way and getting Bunny Rabbits, I thought I would stamp and stamp my feet until Mum got me a pet.

Therefore, I have been sending the foxiest chick on the planet (NO, not Cat Dealy), my good lady wife links to various Spider Sites. My favourite being this one;

http://www.bugsdirectuk.com/tarantulas.html

I bet you I get more use out of my Spider than those pesky kids get with their soppy bunny rabbits.

Not sure, which one to order yet, as long as it is big and hairy, I am not bothered.

The Chile Rose Tarantulas looks good, but I like the sound of the Giant Red-Legged.

I have just found another site.

http://www.exotic-pets.co.uk/products.php?cat=13&let=0

Does anyone out there own or know owners of Tarantulas’?

I’m out tonight with a couple of the lads, which is always nice.

And in other news, a direct quote from my Boss to his Boss.

“You will also recall the allegation that I was probably under valuing our Computer resource.”

Damn straight, he does…

What to Say today

After yesterday’s two marathon posts, I feel the need to get something off my chest. However, there is nothing to get off my chest. I don’t really like work at the moment, and so can’t be arsed to do anything whilst I’m here. I do wake up each morning hoping for some mild illness that would give me the slightest excuse to take a day off. The only thing keeping me here is the fact there are no jobs out there suited to me, and on the half chance that I might actually get the training course they promised.

Things to look forward to this weekend;

Wednesday I am meeting my mate at Bar George whom I haven’t seen in 20 odd years, which will be good to catch up on what we’ve accomplished so far with our lives.

On Friday the latest Tomb Raider game is released and I have ordered the 360 version. Luckily enough, my stunningly beautiful life partner is out with the girls that night, so I should be able to have a pleasant evening playing with Lara.

I was hoping that we could have a family movie night on Saturday, with popcorn and Hotdogs and sweets and watch my latest DVD purchase:

The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

However, we might not have all the children here.

Of course we may be out purchasing a Bunny Rabbit or two (more likely two, so they can keep each other company, however, they will have to be same sex bunnies).

That’s about it as far as I can remember; I must also move the spare TV from Lewis’ room to ours.

Rabbits, Spiders, Snakes and Rats

God knows where it has come from but my sensual good lady wife wants to get the children a Rabbit.

I actually don’t mind, but I know, just know, who will be left to look after it for 99% of the time, The Wife.

She does too much around the house as it is, without another pet to look after.

Plus how often are the children actually going to “do” anything with the damn thing? It will have to stay outside, and being in the Isle of Man, we are not exactly blessed with long hot summers.

So maybe once a weekend, between May and August it will be taken out a stroked and chased around the back garden…

Is it worth it I ask myself?

Now if everyone went for one of my ideas that would be different. I suggested either Giant Spider (I love spiders), Snake or Rat. I would LOVE a spider for Fathers day, a nice big tarantula.

However, they want a Rabbit.

I suggest the kids read this:

http://www.fuzzy-rabbit.com/faq.htm

And I quote from the above source:

“Should I get my child a rabbit?

The short answer is no. Rabbits hate being picked up and cuddled. Most children will want to hug the rabbit and may end up being scratched and bitten. Bunnies don't like losing contact with the ground. They can't run away from predators if you are holding them and they will fight to get put back on the ground. After a while children lose interest in the rabbit, and it ends up in a small cage in the backyard with virtually no human interaction. Rabbits have such a subtle way of communicating that it can be irritating for children who just want to play with the rabbit.”

The Rhythm is Going to Get You!

Saturday evening Max & I were out with her cousin and another two couples. It was a fairly early start (1815Hrs) as the Pub we were going to stopped serving food at 1930. The Pub (The Queens, and no it isn’t one of those Pubs that Crash n Donna enjoy) was fairly full, so the girls sat at a table (actually three tables as they kept moving as and when a better one became available), and us four lads sat at the bar.

Things were fine for the first 10 mins, and then the three lads started talking football (all three were huge Man U fans), which of course I haven’t a clue about. I couldn’t even tell you who is in the Premiership. Therefore, I just concentrated on the “Guest Ales” and let them crack on. There was some respite whilst we ate the EXCELLENT food, but then they spent 30 mins (that’s thirty whole minutes) talking about the Old Trafford pitch??? 30 minutes talking about grass eh!

Well that was me, I went and sat with the Shelia’s in the corner. From that point on it starts to get blurry. Since I hadn’t been able to join in the Football conversation at the bar, I had concentrated on drinking pints of bitter, which meant by the time I sat down with the girls I was very merry. By this time, some fella on a keyboard was singing in the corner, which was a perfect opportunity to get up and dance. Luckily, the girls got up with me. That was me then, I just danced and danced all night. The highlight was when he did Mustang Sally…. For those of you who don’t know, Mustang Sally has a hold on me, as soon as I hear it, I have to dance, and the dancing usually ends up with me taking half my clothes off, I don’t know what it is, but that song really get’s under my skin. Maxine joined me on the floor and we gyrated and sexed our way through the song to the open jaws of the crowd, whom I had even forgotten was there….

When the pub shut we moved on to the piano bar and Kim refused to walk as she doesn’t do walking, she even drives to the corner shop from her house which must be all of 30 meters away. Anyhoo I was adamant that she wasn’t getting a Taxi, so I lifted her on my back and ran all the way to the next Bar… (Don’t ask me why?)

Luckily enough there was a live band at the new place and I didn’t even have time for a drink, I was straight on the dance floor. Most of the time it was just me up there, but I didn’t care, I was far too drunk to be bothered. Although I have been told I did a lot of grabbing girls and dragging them up, and one of the lads was a bit pissed off that I dragged his wife up and picked her up and she put her legs around my waist as we danced… (I don’t actually remember that one….)

All in all it was a very good night, and apparently Maxine was told on more than one occasion, “Paul’s normally such a quiet person”, which I am, until you add Bitter and Music.

It’s Monday morning and my legs are still aching from all the dancing and considering I go to the Gym 5 times a week and have no side effects, I must have danced like a dervish.

I was a Dancing GOD !

Rugby Fixtures this Weekend.

Thank god for SKY+

How many will you watch?

Date Fixture Channel Competition
Fri 31 Newcastle v Connacht (7.30pm) SS2 7pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Chiefs v Highlanders (8.35am) SS3 8.30am Super 14
Sat 01 Leicester v Bath (12.30pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Toulouse v Leinster (3pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Bradford v Hull BBC1 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Munster v Perpignan (5.30pm) SS1 5.15pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Wigan v Wakefield BBC2 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sun 02 Biarritz v Sale Sharks (5pm) SS2 4.30pm Heineken Cup

Coooonts !!!!!!!!

Another year’s pay review has come and gone, and once again no bonus.

Bastard coooonts.

The only thing we get is a 2.1% pay rise, and at my measly salary that’s only £500 a year, which works out at £41.50 extra per month.

Bastard coooonts the lot of them.

I find out on Monday if my £5,000 training course has been approved, which would be something I suppose. However, I would rather have half the money in cash, which means both of us are happy. They save £2500 and I get some spending.

Bastard coooonts.

Stag Weekend.

One of the lads is off to Latvia for a stag weekend tomorrow. They are doing the usual stuff, drinking, strippers etc. However, they have also lined up going shooting; not your normal Shotgun, this is AK47 shooting.

Which is every schoolboys fantasy.

Lucky cooonts.

A Good Soldier.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4856074.stm

Why all this uproar and commotion over ID cards. I personally think it’s a good idea, maybe it’s because I am a good soldier and do as I’m told. Maybe it’s because I am a mostly law abiding citizen, that doesn’t intend to be a burglar, rapist or murderer and therefore don’t mind the Government having my DNA on record.

I really can’t see all the fuss, what are people afraid of? It’s not big brother, it’s just makes sense, if it cut’s down NHS fraud, which is something like £32 billion a year, surely that money saved can be spent on health and education…

Come on people, if you’ve got nothing to hide then step up and get your finger prints taken.

If you don’t like it, there’s a plane every morning to Russia, Iraq or Afghanistan… You commie bastards…

Boring

If I wore these glasses all day at work, there would be alarm bells ringing.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4856050.stm

They are all a bunch of boring geeky accountant nerds (at least most of them are)

What the hell have I got to say?

Nothing!

I’ve had stuff to do at work recently, just spreadsheets, but it’s been nice to see the days fly by. Apart from that there is nothing to say.

I had a most enjoyable quiet night out with the wife on Monday; we had a quiet night in last night. We are watching “Red Eye” tonight and I’m watching “Doom” tomorrow night.

Saturday we are out with a load of people.

That is basically it.

There is a rumour that we will find out our bonus figures this Friday or lack of bonus figures as it turned out this time last year… cooonts.

That’s it really.

I was going to comment on these two articles, but I can’t be arsed.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4853548.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4853318.stm

Have a great rest of the weekend.

Thanks, but no thanks

It's my dads birthday this week, luckily (and very rarely for my family) he actually has a hobby which makes it reasonably easy to buy a present for him. He's a big angler, so it's either tackle or more likely a book or DVD. Seeing as how the shops on the Isle of Man are crap I thought I'd check out Amazon.co.uk to see what they had on offer...

with all the recent trouble about browsing in work and e-mail shenanigans I thought there could be some risk but what the hell heh. No sooner has the page loaded when there's loud laughter from behind me (nosey bastards), top of my "Amazon Recommends" list was this little gem The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I'm guessing this is a whole book dedicated on how to say bend over?

How Amazon managed to pick that considering all I've ever ordered from them is techy books and gadgets I've got no bloody idea but can I get rid of it? This tinternet is a dangerous place and I still haven't bought my dad anything.

Mum’s Day

It was a funny old weekend; I went to bed on Saturday Night complaining to my incredibly sexy wife that I felt as if the weekend had been a dead loss and that I hadn’t done anything. The only highlight up to that point was watching the incredibly thrilling Sale Shark’s vs. London Irish game, what a cracker to say the least.

However, all that changed on Mummy’s day. I got up early and waited for the kids to get up. When they finally decided to leave their pits, we began the breakfast feast for Princess. The tray was festooned with a Bacon & Mushroom toasty, OJ, Tea, Flowers, Cards and gifts.

The children then fawned over Mum for the next hour or so, which was nice for her. We then got ready and picked up my Mum before heading off to the restaurant for a three-course feast. Daniel was impeccably well behaved and also ate everything on his plate. My roast dinner didn’t have a roast potato like everyone else, which I mentioned in passing to a waitress, she then reappeared a couple of mins later with a bowl full of them… Result!

Needless to say after three courses including about 7 large roasties I was stuffed….

We also finished the night off with a couple of bottles of Bubbly.

So all in all Sunday made the weekend.

I hope all you Mum’s out there got exactly what you deserve.

Bugger

Let me start by stating I’m trying REALLY hard not to spend money today. I have just received an email from Sky, offering me first choice on the new SKY HD service. This is a limited service to start with and that it is on a first come first serve basis.

I can get Sky HD before you general Public type people can get it because I signed up as an interested party months and months ago.

The only problem is money…..

It’s £299 for the new box. That for those who don’t know me, is exactly £299 more than I have available to spend and coincidently exactly £299 more than I have in our savings account.

I did mention that it’s bonus time at the end of this month, and IF by some miracle I get a bonus of £1500. I shall treat myself for putting up with this place by purchasing said HD service. Otherwise I shall have to wait for next year, as I will definitely be getting it for the Rugby World Cup.

But if anyone has a spare £299 and wants to put it to a worthy cause, please contact me immediately.

Colloquialisms

I was chatting on MSN this morning and found myself using the phrase "he could always kip down" meaning "he could go to sleep".

Now, in my tenure in Canada I have adapted. Being of high intellect, I am able to speak Canadianese. It's like English but with far fewer words and no slang (apart from adding 'eh' to everything).

But Shirley (being a woman) struggles. An example:

Our car was getting fixed, so Shirley rang a friend and asked if she could "bum a lift". There are so many reasons a Canadian wouldn't understand this not least of which is that Shirley has a manx/yorkshire accent.

So, not unexpectedly, her friend didn't understand.

At which point, Shirley's brilliant strategy for dealing with the vocab. limited Canadians kicks in. She just speaks slower and louder.

"CAN - I - BUM - A - LIFT"

It's hysterical.

Before they die, everyone should see the look of total confusion on a Canucks face with Shirley shouting the following:

"WIND - YOUR - NECK - IN" (i.e. calmn down)
"SHE'S - POTS - FOR - RAGS" (i.e. she's mentally deranged)
"CHIPS - AND - MUSHY - PEAS - PLEASE" (no known translation)

Sometimes, she finishes her bizarre phrase as though it will become self explanatory. For example, if someones pant leg didn't meet their shoe (thereby revealing sock):

"Put jam on shoes" says Shirley
"Ugh?" replies the Canadian
"(sigh) Put some jam on your shoes and invite your trousers down for tea" she says, somehow explaining all.
"Ugh?" repeats the Canadian

But I will give her credit. She decided early on to remain true to her heritage and remains uncompromised. Me? I'm a total sell out. That's it for now, I gotta put out the trash, eh!

Great Night Out

Well the call went out and all the lads responded. So for once, the wife stayed in and I went out. For some reason it was actually heaving with people in the Pub, but we had a great time. We drank beer, and talked up the old times as if they were the good old days. We spent hours taking the piss out of each other, which is a bloke’s favourite past time. We talked of Ferengi’s, Halitosis, Hairy Backs and Tomb Stones. It was a hoot.

I also found out to my disbelief that I am in fact a Communist at heart… Who would have thought?

I also showed the wife how to come home; you should come home” Drunk & Sleepy”, not as she does, “Drunk & Horny”.

It turns out whilst I was out, she was on the phone to her cousin (who lives virtually at the bottom of the road) for 2.5 hours??? Two and half hours on the phone WTF?? What do you talk about for that long? Chicks Eh!

Great Night indeed and I look for to the Official Congrats to Steve & Yvonne drinks soon.

A Glorious Day!

It’s as sunny as a sunny thing on Sunny Day today on the Jewel in the Irish Sea (aka The Rock).

I’m in a good mood as well, must have something to do with the Sunshine.

I’m out with the lads tonight, just for a few drinks and a chat. It should be a laugh.

I’ve also been reading other people’s blogs this morning (nothing new there then), but it does surprise me how good at writing some of them are, or at least how well written they are and the thoughts they get across. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of Blogs out there (or out here as it were).

Diary Blogs: I had chips and Red Wine last night and watched TV.

The Other Type: I can’t really think of a single word to describe them, but they leave you thinking about what they said. They are not telling you what they have done in the last 24 hours, but are telling you either a little about themselves or a little about the way they think.

Obviously this blog is most ramblings and more of a Diary blog, apart from when Mikey has his idle musing, or Paul goes off on one of his Rants…

That’s it really, I off to do a bit of work, once I’ve made a cup of tea and finished reading Skysports Rugby and the AV Forum.

Have a nice midweek day.

Blast from the Past

As I came out of the Gym at lunch time, some fella was just walking past. We both briefly looked at each other and then carried on our separate ways.

It wasn’t till I was around the corner that it sunk in who it was. It was an old friend that I haven’t seen since I was a Primary School, some 28 years ago (I’m trying not to think how old that statement makes me feel).

Anyway, luckily living on the Rock, there is nothing sacred, and 15 mins later I had it confirmed that he was living back on the Island, where he worked and his email address.

So we are going out for a drink next week to catch up on old times… I think I’ll bring Ady along, as after 30 mins of catching up, we’ll have nothing to say.

So for those out there who remember Mr John Melia, who was once listed as one of the Top Ten Most Eligible Bachelors in London, we are going for a drink if you wish to tag along.

He also made me promise not to tell Barry where he was… So hush hush Bro.

To sleep, perchance to Dream

Or as Keats puts it:
O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,--
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.

Could I sleep last night? Could I bollocks… I tried turning off the light at 11:45pm, but by 1.30am I was still looking at the clock and trying to find a comfortable position. So bollocks this, I thought, and I popped downstairs to watch TV.

I watched the Gadget show first, and entered their competition to win £4000 worth of cool gadgets. Then I watched some Babecast XXX, and a little TV Girls Live. Actually I watched “Planet Earth”, but that doesn’t sound as Heterosexual as the naked chicks programs.

Anyhoo, I eventually wandered back up to bed at 3.30am and struggled to find sleep. I think it was around 4.00am the last time I looked at the clock. That is, till the alarm went off at 7.30am.

I hate sleep… it’s an elusive mistress.

That's not snow...

In response to the snowy pics posted on this very blog a few days back, I thought I'd show you what snow is really like. This was taken last night.

We don't measure it in centimetres, we measure in feet.

Real Age

My actual age is 37.7
My 'real age' is 36.7

Basically, I eat sod all fruit and veg and ride a bicycle without a helmet. Sue me.

And I need to lose a bit of weight. Oh, and drink more alcohol!

My “Real Age”

I have just done this online test (http://test.realage.co.uk/) to see how old I really am, after being called, “Old & Haggard” by my nearest and dearest.

Congratulations! You've completed the test!

Your age is: 39.1
Your 'real age' is: 37.9, but you could be younger!
Difference: -1.2

Your Personalized Recommendations
What can you do to start growing younger? Read the personal recommendations and benefits below to see how simple choices can affect your rate of aging.

YOU SLEEP A LITTLE LESS THAN AVERAGE. IF YOU DON'T FEEL WELL RESTED, TRY TO GET A LITTLE MORE SLEEP.
Sleep is an important way in which the body regulates itself. Although you may be getting the right amount of sleep, getting too little can be stressful to your body. You might try going to sleep a little earlier and sticking to this same regular sleep schedule every day.

FLOSS EVERY DAY.
Flossing is the most important thing you can do to prevent periodontal disease and needless aging.

REDUCE YOUR ALCOHOL INTAKE.
For most people, moderate alcohol consumption (1/2 - 1 units a day) slows the aging process. Drinking more than that makes your 'real age' older.

FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH BENEFITS INCREASE YOUR VEGETABLE INTAKE.
Ideally, you should be eating 5-6 servings of vegetables every day. A diet high in vegetables is not only a diet high in vitamins and nutrients, but also fibre. Maximize the anti-aging properties of antioxidants by increasing your vegetable intake.

IF POSSIBLE, ADD FISH OR OTHER SOURCES OF OMEGA-3 FATTY ACIDS TO YOUR DIET SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK.
Besides being a good source of protein and vitamins, fish contains omega-3 fatty acids, which reduce triglyceride levels in the blood and slow aging of the arteries. Be sure to eat at least 2 servings of non-fried fish per week for optimal health benefits.

A Woman Who Reads!

One morning a husband returns to his lake cabin after several
hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors
out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book, enjoying the
peace and quiet.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.

Why oh Why Would I Want to?

Go Out that is.

My wife is always complaining that I never go out and give her a night to herself. She is good enough, to go out with the girls at least once a week to allow me some alone time, but I never reciprocate and allow her the same luxury.

But why would I want to go out.

At home, I have an extremely comfortable sofa, my house is very warm and welcoming. I have a nice 37” HD TV, Broadband, Xbox 360, Sky +, DVD’s galore and a fridge full of beer and wine.
It seems to me that there is no reason to go out? I’ve been out and done that, but you can’t beat home, a real home and that’s what I have.

However, there is one reason, Mates (Friends, Pals, Buddies, Chums, Comrades, Besties).

You can’t invest enough time in your friends. They are there (if they are not, then they are not really mates) when you need them. When times are bad or girlfriends are as crazy as a bag of cats, it’s mates that keep you sane. Girlfriends come and go, but mates are there for the long haul.

So I have decided to make more of an effort and get out with the Lads every couple of weeks. Email is not enough any more, neither is interaction via the medium of Blog.

I need real life, sit down, beer in one hand and talk bollocks for 4 hours, sort of interaction.

So the call has gone out and I am awaiting a response.

The Great Height Conspiracy

Have you ever noticed that we are all, in fact, pretty much the same height?

Although we often describe somebody as 'short' or 'tall' there's not really much difference. A short man would be, say, 5'4 whereas a tall man would be 6'1. That's only a 10% difference. Hardly a drop in the ocean, it's not as if tall people are triple the height of short people.

In fact, visitors from outer-space might consider us all to be the same size. They might be gobsmacked (or the equivalent alien jargon) by our entire culture which is centred around height. They'd say "but you're all pretty much the same height, we'd need very high precision measuring devices to tell the difference" or "gak spp'j cwk taaaak".

You get my point.

Of course there are anomalies. Some examples follow:

1. Really tall black people
2. Children
3. People lying down

And, on a side note, although there are extra-large and extra-small sizes, there is no extra-medium. Now that is pure discrimination.

I think you'll all agree, free porn rules!

Thankyou.

The Weekend Cometh.

Highlight of the week was being told I looked “Old and Haggard”… Which is a right confidence builder. Still I picked my self up and told myself not to listen to that person, after all what did she know? We’ve only been together 6 years…

Today is Friday and I’ve spent all morning watching the Rugby 7’s from the Commonwealth Games, live on the BBC website. Which is definitely better than working? Not that I have any work to do, well I actually do have work to do, but I can’t do it as I’m watching the Rugby 7’s from the Commonwealth Games, live on the BBC website.

Nothing special planned for the weekend, just another slow one.

Apart from the last weekend of the Six Nations.

That’s it really; I hope Ady had a good weekend in Amsterdam. I hope Paulie B has a great weekend with his family. I hope Mike and his troop are busy packing in preparation for the imminent return to the Rock from the Outback.

I hope all of your wishes bar one comes true.

Later Days

Hunting Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Americans are Dumb

And I can back it up.

I was in Wendy's yesterday. You don't have that in Grand Britain. However, you may have heard the news story where a woman found a severed finger in her chilli and tried to sue them. Turns out it was a hoax.

But Wendy's sales took a huge nose dive due entirely to this incident.

Which got me wondering: did your average North American believe that it was now Wendy's corporate policy to put emancipated digits in their mexican-style minced beef?

Consider the scene:
Randy: "Let's grab us some chow at Wendy's"
Brock: "Hey, no way dude. Dontcha know they is putting fingers in all their food now?"
Randy: "Hell no! Let's go punch a cow instead"
Brock: "Cool!"
etc.

Whereas, back home, someone working at McDonalds reportedly ejaculated into the food. Did that stop us eating at the Golden M?

Of course not. How absurd!

Firstly: how many times can someone jerk off in a day? It's not as if he can even cover 1% of the daily output of said franchise. And secondly, just don't order anything with mayo on it.

Sorted.

What’s Going On?

Not a lot at the moment, I started the week full of gusto thinking I would knuckle down and do loads at work. Then I realised that I only had a couple of things pencilled in, and that they didn’t have to be done till September.

So my bubble burst and I have sat at my desk, dejected for the last 3 days. My only highlight of the week is betting £3 each day on the Cheltenham Races. So far I have won £6.21 from a £2.80 bet.

My bets for today, a grand total of £3, all of which are 30p each way.

1400 Mr Nosie (although most people go for Denman)
1435 Darkness (although most people go for Commercial Flyer)
1515 Fota Island (although most people go for Kauto Star)
1600 Fair Question
1640 Liberthine

In other news, the Manx DHSS are out to get me! That’s official. I can’t go into why I make this statement, but needless to say it is true. Coonts.

All of the family birthdays are out of the way till August.

It’s Pay Review month, so in the next 2 weeks I’ll find out my pay rise and bonus. I didn’t get one last year, and have brought it up at every opportunity given. I hope I have worn them down, into giving me one! (ou er misses)

That it really, I’ve be playing Halo tonight around 9.00pm, anyone out there can join in, send me a Friend invite. Kingster IOM is my Gamertag

There are another 3 people with author rights to this blog, but they are conspicuous by their absence. I’m sure our Canadian Manxie has some thoughts or stories to tell us.

That’s it, how are you all doing?

Jaffa Cakes: Biscuit or Cake?

The source of one of the most complex conundrums ever to challenge mankind:
Is it a cake or is it a biscuit?
These small circular sponges topped with chocolate and squidgy orange stuff have been the subject of much debate over the years. Even the British government has become embroiled in this web of snack-related intrigue. At present, the Jaffa Cake is classified as a cake but the British government is attempting to get it reclassified as a biscuit. This would mean it would come under a higher tax bracket, as biscuits are not as perishable as cakes, or something technical like that.
It is not clear how much more expensive the Jaffa Cake would become should this proposal go through Parliament, but it's possible they could move from the realms of 'everyday favourite' to become more a much more exclusive item. In which case, they could end up being treated similarly to fine wines, so that in the future, small groups of Jaffa Cake connoisseurs might be found in darkened cellars discussing texture, nose, and full-bodied flavour.

Lemmings

I was walking through the street at lunch time and I had a quick look in Game. They have brought out Lemmings for the PSP. I used to really love Lemmings way back on the Mega Drive. I spent hours on it as I love puzzle games.

I was sorely tempted to buy it, but technically the PSP is my son’s so I would have full access to it.

Then reading this review on the Tin Ter Net suggested that my nostalgia may be addling my brain.

And so here is the FREE online version of the original game.

http://www.elizium.nu/scripts/lemmings/

Enjoy

The Weekend that Was

Since our cooker had been on the blink (where on earth does that saying come from?), I didn’t have a chance to cook my eye-catching wife a meal for her birthday on Monday. As it was eventually fixed Thursday and Friday was the first night without all the kids, I made up for it then, and let her cook me a meal. A most romantic evening it turned out, although the two bottles of white wine didn’t do me any favours in the morning.

Saturday we all hung round waiting for the birthday boy to turn up from his Dads. He was only in the house 2 mins, before he was off to one of his clubs. So the actual birthday was something of a damp squid…..

Sunday it was an awful day weather wise, which actually played into our hands. We decided to go bowling and didn’t book a lane, but because of all the snow, half the people didn’t turn up for the Junior League that was on. This meant we were able to get a lane after all. A quick pub lunch followed, and then the birthday boy shot off back to his dad’s…. Poor Mum.

That was it…

Bird Flu

Let us see what have I done at work today?

Well last night I downloaded the latest Game Demo from Xbox Live (The Outfit), but it wouldn’t work, anyhoo, so I surfed around my favourite Forum and found the answer to make it work.

Then the MD’s PA brought her son’s Nintendogs game in, as she could not get it working. Therefore, I surfed my favourite forum and found the answer. I then spent the next 30 mins training a virtual dog, called Charlie, his name and how to sit.

I then read more of my favourite forum, regarding 37WLT58 HD LCD TV, SKY HD and a couple of more threads. I quick peek at a PSP forum, and the odd glance at Donna’s blog to see if she had updated. I rang the wife as well.

Which brings me up to 11.34, hardly worth starting any work now, as I’m off to the Gym at 12.30.

As for this afternoon, I have one job. I have to take a picture of the MD’s desk as it’s “unsuitable” and he wants a new one…

Roll on the weekend..

Done it!

Since my feet were soaking from walking to work this morning, I finally went out and bought a new pair of Shoes. Not exactly the finest Italian Leather, nor are they some designer label, but they do exactly what they say on the box (actually they don’t give you a box, they just throw them in a bag).

Anyhoo for a bargain of £6.99 I now have dry feet again…. Bring on the rain.

Other news.

Since starting work in a Chemist and being in constant contact with the ill and unhealthy, my strikingly beautiful and sexy wife has felt nothing but poorly. Still I hope she is well enough to meet the girls tonight, a glass of red Wine should help her immune system.

Other news.

I was going to say something about this Story. But where do I start without being labeled a bigot, chauvinist or worse a rapist. However, it states that man should get written consent (virtually saying that) before bedding a wench. If she is too drunk and consent’s at the time but then in the morning when she wakes up and is so embarrassed/ashamed of what she has done (even if it was consensual at the time) she can charge the man with rape….

Don’t get me wrong, I would not want any woman raped, and if they are they should have the full backing of the law and of course the rapist should have his bit’s bitten off by a rabid dog.

But how does this new law work? How do you determine, when no doubt you are in a state as well, that the woman is saying yes and is all over you, that come morning and the tequila is wearing off that she wont change her mind…..

I just don’t think this law is the right way forward.

Thank GOD I am married and have it on tap and don’t have to worry about all this single stuff.

There’s a Hole in My Shoe that is letting in Water

I know I go on and on about it, but my feet a soaking wet… I really must bite the bullet and buy some new shoes… for crying out loud it’s only £12.

I hate buying shoes…

Snow Pic's

Snow, Beer & Hot Food

I had a fantastic weekend, starting on Friday when we just all sat round the TV, eating and talking (myself, the wife and the 3 kids). Nothing special it just felt really “family”, which I am a big sucker for.

Although I couldn’t sleep and was up at 5.50, there was a big bonus to start the day, as Ady has already stated it SNOWED, not a couple of centimeters but inches of pure white powdered FUN. Initially the kids wouldn’t go out and help me build snowmen, but eventually they gave in. We had a great time, and although there were a few (actually lots) of tears at various points in the snowball fights, I can honestly say it was the best morning ever.

I also managed to watch a fair bit of Rugby, and then once the children were all dropped off at various relatives we had my wife’s birthday night out to enjoy. A couple of drinks at a very relaxing bar, and then on for an Indian, was the order of the night. Not really knowing my way around an Indian Menu, I just picked the first thing that I came across; as it was everyone was just sharing the meals.

Then it was off to the local Disco, which I have been informed is now called a Club. Anyhoo at said Dicso Club, Steve & I were straight up on the floor and showing the young pups how to move. It wasn’t long before a hen party were up and trying to get our attention.

Basically it was a great night and a Big Up to all of those that turned up, especially Paulie B & S as it was their first night out with us lot (I hope they’ll join us again) and for Timmy D for making the effort in his Pink Shirt. Good to see you again fella.

Sunday was very relaxing.

On an aside I’ve just had my Work Staff Appraisal and here are the comments from my Senior Manager.
“A solid appraisal and reflects the excellent (often undetected) work Paul performs.”

I actually thought I sat around all day reading website’s and blog’s?? Who knew I was such a benefit to the Company. I might ask for a pay rise.

Who am de Man?

I was reading an article on the web about one of the Producers of the film “Crash” suing the Academy Awards people, and at the every end there was a quote from a Film Critic stating he had heard more people talking about voting for “Crash” than the bookies favourite “Brokeback Mountain”.

So I put a £4 on Crash @ 4-1, (all I had left on my Internet betting account) and I WON…..

Who said you can’t make money on the Internet.

PS. Happy Birthday Honey.

Snow - what is it good for?

Bringing the community together, that's what.

Was awoken by my girlfriends kids this morning (at ay em ridiculous) with the hushed glee that there was snow everywhere. And yep - a picture perfect scene of white frosting that clung to the trees and virginated everything in sight (only previously seen in movies). So we get bundled up to tackle the cold (the secret is in the layers) and we go out to build snowmen (the snow was too light - so didn't stick well) have snowball fights and sledding up and down the roads.

And so the families in the houses up and down the road slowly emerged in a colourful display of knitware, and enjoyed the shared occasion. Not since the Queens Coronation anniversary have so much of the community shared the community spirit. Snowball wars settled age old arguements about fence size and old and young bonded together as they never will again.

Aaaah. Bless.

So the Island was snowed in again. But this time it was a weekend and so people didn't need that excuse to stay off work - instead, for a scant few hours, we all pelted each other with snow and laughed it off afterwards.

I want one of those

Every boy’s childhood dream a remote control Shark… I kid you not!
Now if they can put Lasers on their “frickin heads”, we’re laughing.

What we are not laughing at, is standing in a public urinal trying desperately to open the Button Flies on your new jeans…. What a spack I felt. I just couldn’t the fuckers open and after a couple of mins I gave up and just pissed myself.  Actually I didn’t, I went to a cubicle and had to take my belt off first. Fucking cooonting jeans.

Other good news is that I fixed my Laptop last night and so saved all my data, alas it now means I can’t try and buy a new one. Bugger.

What else is there??

We are out tomorrow Night to celebrate my stunningly foxy wives’ birthday, and Steve “I haven’t a pot to piss in” Ward’s. After changing venue 6 or 7 times I haven’t a clue were we will eventually end up. As long as my wife is on one arm, and a pint in the other I’ll be a happy man.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Perspective

It’s all about perspective. On the Isle of Man today it is snowing. A light drizzle, that’s has been going for most of the night. The Isle of Man has now come to stand still. There is bedlam on the roads, anarchy in the streets, a subtle (what a weird way to spell this sounding sword, why isn’t it spelt suttle? What that all about) mix of Mad Max 2 and Ice Age.

People that live 4 miles away from work (a vast distant in Manx terms) have refused to even chance coming to work because of the hazardous conditions. They are appalled that we would even suggest driving when there is almost an inch on snow on the roads….

This is the current Manx Weather state

Crazy.

Yet on the other side of the planet, is one of our homesick brethren, who pines for greener fields, has another perspective.

It’s -23°C there, with feet deep snow, and life goes on as normal. Everyone continues there daily 2 hour commute and children merrily go to school.

This is the current Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Weather

Of course that does not distract from the fact the place is a shit hole…

Come home soon yessir fella.

Bugger

My laptop blew up last night. BANG! Actually it just died and refused to come back on.

Which could have a silver lining; it could be time to buy a new one. Except for bastard money. How come there’s not enough money to go round. Why on earth don’t they just print more? And why doesn’t the Government give everyone £1000 at the start of the year, a sort of prize for passing go? Coonts.

Any why can’t I be arsed to do any work? I had my staff appraisal last Thursday which got off to a good start, “So Paul, tell me exactly; What do you do?”…

Well if you are going to be sarky, you can shove your job up your arse, you cooonting fuck bastard twat.

Is what I screamed inside my head; in reality I externally verbalised some bullshit that seemed to appease him.

But they gave me a shit load of “projects” to do on the understanding that they would in return pay for my MSCA.

Did I mention my laptop blew up… coonts.

A Classic Oldie

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Fucking Lent

I decided to give up Tea for lent, as its one thing that I regularly have. In fact, at work, I have around 10 cups a day; this is mostly to give me something to do.

Well it is 11.20 and we’ve just had work pasties, and I would have killed for a nice brew to wash it down with.

Still another 39 days to go or so.

Happy Pancake Day

Everyone except me was sick over the weekend, and so I spent it as a Mum, running around looking after everyone, cooking, ironing, washing etc…

A Big Up to all the mums out there that do that day in day out. Especially my lovely wife, thank you.

The highlight of the weekend was teaching my 2 year old son to break dance and electric boogaloo, which some how always ends up him doing monkey impressions.

I noticed at lunch time that Holland & Barrett sell Love Bar’s, “that go straight to the male and female love organs”. Or some such nonsense, WTF !

Other news is my Laptop needs an overhaul. It’s getting slower and slower. Therefore, I spent last night going through it and deleting all the shit apps I have put on and tried over the last 15 months. I then had to go through the registry and manually delete all the residual fingerprints of the un-installed apps that weren’t removed. I’ll see if that improves performance, if not it’s time for a fresh install.

Which would make me think of installing MS Media Centre 2005 O/S? For something different. Anyone out there had experience with Media Centre?

That’s about it. Payday and pancake day today… two things to look forward to.

Later days

Irony revisited

We had an estate agent (or Realtor in local slang) around tonight desperately trying to get our business (at their usual extortionate fees).

I was hesitant.

So this obnoxiously pushy woman wanted to know why I wouldn't sign with her. I finally got really annoyed and told her one of the main reasons we're leaving Canada is coz of the constant pushy sales people trying to part you from your money 24 hours a day.

She agreed with me entirely.

It was disgraceful.

She hated it.

So....would I sign now?

And yet, if I killed her and buried her in a ditch, it would be my fault. Go figure.

Has to be a first

As I pulled up to the Mickey D’s drive-thru window last night, poor little Nemo unloaded his entire stomach contents all over the back seat; which made my other boy in the front seat dry heave.

Must be the first time kids have puked before eating their Happy Meal.

Thought I would share that with you.

Plus, why don’t people whistle anymore. I love to here a good whistled tune.

Ah well, those were the days…

Two Sides of the Coin

Having Kids is great, I mean it’s the best thing ever, and would only be beaten by winning £130 million on the Lottery.

However, when your children are sick, it breaks your heart. You feel so bad, it hurts.

Little Nemo, has been sick with Rosella Infantum (or Baby Measles) for the last week or so, and was just on the road to recovery. Then last night, we heard some very unusual sounds coming from the baby monitor. After rushing up there, all you could see and smell was sick. It was everywhere… the poor little mite.

Anyway, all in all he threw up 4 times last night, and four times we had to hold his little shaking body as he tried to puke and cry at the same time….

Anyway, we’ve had to throw the mattress out as it was covered in Puke, and we had to get a replacement today. Another £100 gone in a blink of an eye.

Poor Little Mite

You’re having a Laugh!

This article made me laugh. It states that due to the mass take up of Broadband in the UK, they feel there will be another price war, which will mean a drop in prices. They even go on to say they expect to see broadband less than £10 a month…

Well come to the FUCKING Isle of Man, and our ONE service provider….

They consider £30 a month to be the cheapest they can afford to go down too, and we are meant to be happy with that. May I add that our contention ratio is also higher than the mainland (50:1, whereas most of the UK is 30:1)

Fleecing Bastard Coonts

Can’t be Arsed

As anyone who might have glance past this site will observe, it has gone to seed. There hasn’t been a decent post in weeks (if ever I hear you cry). There are a number of facts for this. Mostly, everyone else associated with the site is too busy to post, and I have nothing to say. At least, nothing of interest to say.

But, today I have literally NOTHING to do at work at all, I’ve spent the last two days creating a map to show people directions to get to a work colleagues wedding in Ireland. A wedding I must add, that I’m not even invited too…..

So to take a break from that and looking at the clock, I though I would put something down.

I was 39 years old last week, and I am aging gracefully. In fact I am enjoying reaching 40 and the wisdom and calm it brings. No midlife crisis for me. Probably because I have everything; Wife, Children, House, Car, Friends, Family, HDTV, Xbox 360 etc… No bring it on old father time, I’m ready.

That’s about it. Nothing to say, and completely content in my life (apart from the job).

Stealing is good

I've always had this vague guilt. When I bought my first ever CD Player from Colebournes (circa 1984) there was a Strauss CD in it for demo purposes. As the salesguy was boxing my new purchase I kept him distracted so that he wouldn't notice. I kept it :)

As a result I was overjoyed that my CD collection was off to such a wonderful start.

But I've paid; this guilt has had such a huge effect on my life, always looking over my shoulder, never able to settle in one town.

However, I just realised something.

The b*stard sold me a demo model for full price!

Chinese State Circus Review

We went to see the Chinese State Circus last night, and I can’t recommend the show highly enough. I’ll try though.

It basically loads of different acts for two hours, and apart from a couple (i.e. the Human Chandelier) it is very entertaining.

They even have Shaolin Monks flying around the stage with sticks, and swords. It’s like watching a live episode of Kung Fu. There are actobats and Dragons/Lions and all sorts going on.

Apart from a few Health & Safety issues I had with the first two acts, I was gob smacked most of the way through.

Go and see it if it’s near you.

A Perfect and easy romantic meal every time.

I’ve done this meal twice now, and each time I have been very impressed, with the result and the simplicity.

Steak with Sautee Potatoes and Asparagus and mushrooms.

Turn on the Oven at around 200 Degrees.
First off, peel and chop up (not too small, about 2” square) some Red Skinned Potatoes.
Boil with Salt for about 10 mins or until you can easily pierce a potato chunk with a sharp knife and it will slide off.
Now put the Asparagus in a small baking tray with a good dollop of Butter and place it in the pre-heated oven.
Then heat a frying pan with 2 table spoons of Olive Oil and some butter. Once the butter has melted and you add the steaks. Frying them on both sides till they are a nice brown, not a pale brown, but darkish. Normally around 5 mins.
Then place them in a baking tray in the oven. For Medium Steaks, leave them for 11 minutes.
Now fry your boiled potatoes in the Frying pan with 2 table spoons of Olive Oil and some butter, till they are mostly brown all over, which is normally around 10 mins.
In a second frying pan; chop and fry your mushrooms in the frying pan with 2 table spoons of Olive Oil and some butter.
When the steaks are ready, everything else should be, just place on a plate and eat. The last time I did it I also got a Jar of ready made Béarnaise sauce that just need a min in the Microwave.

Which was excellent.

On behalf of the ethnic minority

This article caught my eye:

http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2006/781/op4.htm

Putting aside the whimsical irony of a people violently protesting at being depicted as violent, the author (a Muslim) puts across a remarkably valid point on why the two sides dislike each other so.

"The tension is easy to explain. Europe has failed to integrate its ethnic minorities in a meaningful manner"

(The phrase "there's a boat leaving in the morning" springs to mind)

WHY do these Muslims who love their own cultures and hate ours with equal intensity insist on leaving their homelands in their MILLIONS to come and live in ours?

The subtle Asian conquest of the world will be complete within our own lifetimes. And they'll still be complaining.

p.s. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not very PC. That's a luxury only the majority can afford.

Skype

I installed Skype on my laptop this weekend just to see what the fuss was all about, and to let one of the kids talk to his relatives, who all seem to use it. I must admit I am very impress indeed. Very easy to set up, install and register, the whole thing takes about 2 mins. Plus with the new version, you get video as well. Unfortunately for the rest of the World’s Skype users, my lad spent most of Sunday calling them, which at last count was some 57 Million of them….. Most of them cottoned on after a few calls and refuse to answer… I can only apologise…

Mafia rules the Superbowl

I stayed up to watch the Superbowl last night. An annual jaunt into Americaner that I attempt - made easier this year due to the hollibobs booked off the day after (which allows for a 3am support of a very lengthy, advert punctuated game).

However, this is my last year.

To anyone who's seen The Last Boy Scout and other movies that touch onto American Football, it's full of high stakes, cheerleaders, huge moneys, cheerleaders, bit of chucking a ball up and down a field, cheerleaders and bets made on 'the spread'.

The Spread is an American system of betting. Win big lose big.

Seattle Seahawks vs. Pittsburgh Steelers. The spread was against the Seahawks and so the ridiculous calls and 'yellow flags' against the seahawks in the first half of the game meant that they did not take the commanding lead they should have done, and lost the impetus of the game. Team psychology kicked in and when the Steelers went ahead it was a difficult battle to fight back.

It was a number of terrible decisions that were made by the referees, dissallowing a touchdown, shifting the ball so they lost inches, yellow flags a plenty. It felt as if the refs were making sure the Seahawks didn't get a toe hold on the game thus ensuring that when the tide of the game turned Pittsburgh could take full advantage.

It was as if the Mafia was pulling the strings in the background, ensuring that a great game was never going to lose them money.

I'm very jaded with the whole thing. That it seemed so obvious to me means others must have seen it to. Money corrupts, f'rsure, but where is Bruce Willis when we need him (The Last Boy Scout). Sheesh.

Half Hour Lunch Breaks

Why? Where I work you are forced to have a lunch break, has to be at least half an hour. If you don't they just take an hour of you anyway. I was thinking today that this is some great employer scam to get people to work for free. You see, "most" people have nothing to do in their lunch break, nada, nill, zip, other than going and getting a sandwich and maybe a paper. The fact is that an hour isn't really long enough to do anything decent, whilst half an hour is too long just to nip out. They know this. So you end up getting said sandwich and then heading back to your desk where you can pretent to read your paper, browse the net for half an hour convincing yourself that you're not actually working. The truth is that most of us are, phone rings do you answer, a colleague drops over to ask some questions, do you answer? Of course you do (well I do anyway). Somebody wants to go for lunch asks "Are you back?", of course you are. So what work have got out of me/you/us is half an hour of FREE time. Thats 2.5 hours a week, cheaky robbing b'stards. Why not just let me go home early and give me the free choice of whether or not I want a lunch break? They sprout crap about the law and number of hours worked but they are more than happy to let you work till gone 7 at night (thats 6 hours without a break if you do a 12 o'clock lunch).

This is the whole reason I started going to the gym, just to make sure that I had something to do in my lunch hour that took the whole hour and left no bonus free time . If only I had the energy to go very day, maybe if I didn't work I would. It might be a slight generalisation but all employers are in fact coonts, bring on that Euro millions rollover and rescue me from the chains of work and the ass holes that torture me every day.

Another Day in My Life

Internet Abuse! I ask you.

Ah well, it had to happen, one of the luckless Manx Lads has been cut-off. His employers (or Fascist Over Lords, as it says on his pay slips) have cited “Internet Abuse as the reason.

And this is after appearing on the companies Internet abuse list (distributed monthly to line managers) only 12 times (he has been there a year), and only 4 or 5 warnings… The whole thing came out of the blue… Whack! Straight between the eyes, he didn’t see it coming. Would they allow him Compassionate leave to get over the loss? No is the short answer.

Against my better judgment, he has decided to continue working for these dictators; I would rather be unemployed and destitute than being made to work without Internet access. I mean, what do they expect him to do all day? I ask you.

And all this on top of Shell’s record breaking profits… Coincidence…. I don’t think so.

I am Watching!

When I was a Lad!

With this article in mind, here is a comparison of my bedroom as a child and my sons’ current bedroom.

Mine (aged 9)
No Double Glazing
No Heating
Bed
Books
Plastic Toy Soldiers
Top Trumps
Connect 4 and a hand full of other similar games

Son (aged 9)
Double Glazing
Central Heating
Two Beds
Books
CD’s
DVD’s
Stereo
Televisions x 2 (15” & 32” Widescreen)
DVD Player
Portable DVD Player
Sky Multi-room (Full Sky Package)
Cameras x 2
MP3 Player
Nintendo DS
Numerous Remote Controlled Cars
Various Board Games
Xbox and Games
Mobile Phone (inc. Camera)

That is only the ones I can think of from the top of my head, and he wants a Laptop for Christmas…

I honestly mean this; “Kids Today, they don’t know their born”

Lucky Bastards

The Bloggies awards

Something to aim for for 2007 perhaps? I think not.

However, there is some excellent blog sites (as you'd hope) at the http://2006.bloggies.com/.

I'd like to see more categories (instead of geaographical blogs) such as sci-fi, tech, porn. And the prizes make me laugh! So long as the blog owners slap adwords on their sites they should be doing OK . . .

Public Information Announcement

Just to bring you all back to reality after Ady’s mushroom enhanced ramblings

In 2005, there was an 18 percent rise in disasters that killed 91,900 people.

There were 360 natural disasters last year compared to 305 in 2004. "This increase is mainly due to the rising numbers of floods and droughts that affect large swathes of a population; figures indicate that the number of floods increased by 57 percent in 2005 (107 in 2004 and 168 in 2005) and droughts by about 47 percent (15 in 2004 and 22 in 2005).

The number of people affected by these types of disasters continues to rise in 2005. In total, 157 million people--seven million more than in 2004--required immediate assistance, were evacuated, injured or lost their livelihoods.

Despite this, loss of life was significantly lower than in 2004, during which 244,500 people died as a result of natural hazards.

Just thought I’d let you know, as I have fuck all else interesting to write about.