Fucking Sky

Got rid of it 5 months ago, haven't missed it one bit. 

Every week they phone up asking us to "Come Back To Sky", 2-3 times a week we get an exlcusive "Come Back To Sky" offer through the post.  I got fed up today and phoned them up to say stop it, they wanted my account password, I don't have an account I cancelled it?  They can't change my contact preferences without having my account password, I don't have an account I explained again. 

Except I do.  When you take out a Sky subscription for one of their services they assign you a Sky ID and it is never deleted.  If you sign up for an online account you can see that THEY can see all your details and it is impossible to have this account removed.  You can never ever actually leave Sky, they will just hold on to your details as long as your account is left open, an account you can't close.  Fuckers.  Nice to see the Data Protection Act doing it's job heh?  Somebody should really have a word with them about what information they are allowed to retain and for how long.

Want To Earn More And Work Less?

Nope this isn't some scammy "get rich quick" internet marketing system, it's actual real life shit.  How would you like to cut down your hours by about 10%, earn considerably more and gain a whole raft of benefits you could only dream about including a final salary pension?  Not only that but you also get to forget about the company you work for going bust, the pressures of working in a commercial environment, "late" salary payments because of a bad month and needing to ass kiss clients because you need the business!

As an exclusive bonus to this once in a lifetime offer I'm also throwing in the opportunity to have your breakfast during working time and extra days off for having your lunch at your desk....I like to call it the flexi-time meal bonus.

Your only obligation is to turn up, not upset anybody and if you can  try and look at least a little busy that would be nice.

For further details please check out page 11 of this document. **HURRY** This opportunity will only be available for as long as the population of the Isle of Man are happy to fund the inbred old boys club currently running the show.

(Un)Interesting Observation

I've signed up again with e-bay, it'll only be a matter of time before the account is hacked and all sorts of hassle goes down but in the meantime I needed a few electronics bits that I could only find on there.  One expensive (£120) comes from the USA with paid ($20) postage.  Once cheap (£11) comes from China with free postage.  Both packages are about the same size and posted on the same day.

Bit surprised then to find out that the Chinese parcel gets here a whole 5 days before the American one.  What does this tell us?  Not a lot, except perhaps not to be so dubious of ordering stuff from China, which opens up a whole new world of purchasing obscure crap.

Far Cry 3 Review

If Far Cry 2 had a very simple child that was initially fun to play with but very soon the limited simplicity became very, very boring then that would be Far Cry 3.  In short they have taken everything away that made Far Cry, then Far Cry 2 challenging (and fun for more than a few hours) and left you with a-n-other CoD mongathon.  I loved it for a couple of hours but now having forced myself through the whole game (the child analogy stops here) it's heading straight for the swapsie pile at Game.

I could say the same about Mass Effect 3 but I'll save that for a different but equally fucking hilarious post.

Christmas Wrap-Up

Ho ho ho and all that shit. Here's a quick round-up of how things are going -

The lads Christmas day out was on the 8th of December this year and went very well for the rest of the lads (as far as I can gather nobody was arrested, hospitalised or divorced post event). My guts are still crap and even though I only had 4 or 5 drinks all day before calling it an early finish I have suffered, oh how I've suffered!  In fact today is the first day I've not looked pregnant and managed to unload something half normal, I'm going to call him Mr Hanky.  I could live without drinking the rest of the year but I used to enjoy a few at Christmas.

The people who dicked me over have now themselves been shafted to a whole new level of financial pain and misery. Shame.  I may send them a Christmas card with a pound note in it to show there is no hard feelings.  I don't like the world of finance so plans have been made in the New Year to take a step back to what I do enjoy.

All presents are bought, not wrapped, that's my rock and roll weekend planned.  I say all, I mean all the presents I needed to get, which is everything except the wifes family and friends.  The Mrs has once again decided the best policy was to wait until this week and then shop local.  No point arguing because she will never learn. I'm not doing a last minute online order with extra postage to make up for it this year, I like to see it as training.  Expect a similar blog post this time next year.

Other than that all systems go, a few bits of food left to get but then we're ready for action.  If I don't see you beforehand have a very Merry Christmas and all things being well I'll see the lads for the new years party.

Do Yourself A Favour

Enjoy a bit of Christmas spirit, take a look at this lady's amazing story:-



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I fucking hate cancer, just the word is bad enough never mind the puking shit, rotting away, body eating itself reality.  To meet it head on with a smile on your face is more than I think I or most could handle but the way this girl just ploughs on is pure inspiration.

Better Stick To Digging Holes

There's nothing that says "thank you for making us a really successful company from nothing, oh and rich!!!" better than 3 years into a long term deal declaring "fuck you we can't find our copy of the agreement no more money for you."  Knowing fine well that anything I show them will be pulled apart because they plain and simple want to keep everything for themselves.  Oh the joy.

Even worse in the world of business and finance acceptable ways of dealing with this seem to be:-

1.  I'm going to tell my lawyer on you
2.  Fake pleasant e-mails that have to end in Kind Regards
3. Cry

Where as according to people wiser than me these are not acceptable ways of resolving the issue:-

1.  Physical violence
2.  Nipping around the office for a quiet "word"
3.  Destroying their business & personal reputations

Sniveling little 2 bit office waller shit bags that wouldn't know about honor if it jumped up and took a dump on their face, and the world is full of them, they are everywhere. It's no wonder Corporate Lawyers earn so much with so many people willing to dick people over.  Anyhoo, it's a valuable lesson learned, it's also a very small island which makes this sort of nonsense even stupider.  But what can you do?  Dig holes that's what.

New York Webcam

Live broadcast by Ustream

Worst Hurricane ever?  Looks like a normal summers day on the Isle of Man.

(And I still haven't seen Godzilla)

DIY Or Not To DIY?

After 10 years of looking at the same wallpaper it's finally been decided that a holiday will be dropped from the schedule and we are going to decorate.  When I say we I don't mean me because of all the things in all the worlds, the one thing I won't and will never do is hanging wallpaper.  Painting yes, wallpaper no.  It goes back to GCSE art when in order to qualify to do the course you had to draw a box in 3D, I had every angle back to front so it had the perspective of being in the box looking out., my teacher was disgusted, I am fucking shit at anything that requires an artistic eye, I have artistic dyslexia.  To be honest I also wasn't that keen on getting involved in the knocking stuff down, making things good, general bits and pieces side of things either, I have a rapidly failing business, cash I have (for the time being), time I don't.  My plan was simple, spend cash and get a pro in to do it.

The wife had other ideas, why pay for labour when you can do it yourself and then spend that money on many lovely things for your new living room.  Just to be clear here I wasn't exactly being stingy with the budget but anyhoo, every penny saved on labour is a penny to be spent on stuff!  Giving the wife credit she did throw herself into this and did a great job of stripping the walls but even so I found myself getting too involved.  I didn't want anything to do with it, spend money, do nothing.  So when the plan on relying on favours finally looked like it was going to drag out I convinced her that it would be better to go with my plan and just pay somebody.  I would stump up the extra cash on top of the original budget.  How hard can it be, get estimates from painters and decorators and have them do it, it's what they do day in and day out surely?  Or so you'd think.  In my keenness to pay somebody I'd forgotten my one golden rule of dealing with the trades, nothing is every straight forward.  The only estimate we've had back so far has been the usual shit* where as what I want is "here is a room, make it look nice, I'm going out to work, see you later".  To be fair though the other 2 lads that have come around have looked a lot keener to actually do the work, just waiting to hear back from them now, fingers crossed.  It's still got me thinking, like I said we don't decorate on this scale very often so what the hell to other people do?  That first painter & decorator we had in seemed genuinely surprised that everything wasn't pristine for him to just slap some wallpaper on, surely by the time you've prepped everything you might as well just do the decorating yourself?  And by yourself I mean my wife.  Is it just us again or do painters and decorators usually walk into rooms where everything is exactly how they want it ready for chucking up some wallpaper?  The key here is I don't mind paying, I'm not expecting freebies chucked in, I just want to pay you to do the work so I don't have to! 

*An example of the usual shit:- We had a fence blow down, we got somebody in to replace it (I was too busy with work).  The conversation went along the lines, yes we can do your fence no problem, if you just get up to B&Q and get the panels you want, you'll also need some new posts so if you can sort them out and get them set ready for us, it's probably only 1 days work to put the fence up (it was 3 panels).  Oh and you'll need to get rid of the old fence first.  All I could do was shake my head and laugh as I tried to explain to him that if I was sorting out the panels (we don't have a van), tipping the old fence and putting in new posts I might as well attach the panels to the posts myself.  It was lost on him, he did actually think I was going to pay him a days labour to screw on 3 fence panels. I replaced the fence.

Stuff

Well I had to give up trying to get blood tests at the hospital, after spending a whole day phoning an engaged/off the hook phone eventually I gave the doctors a call and they said they could do my blood tests the next day, result.  Monday was in fact results day and they even phoned me, how's that for good service?  The good news is that I will live at least another couple of months, the bad news is that there is something wrong and I have to go for more tests in a couple of months to confirm that was is wrong is really wrong and then if it is...well I don't know what happens from there, probably lots of painkillers for ever.  Frankly after having to spend another night trying to sleep on the floor because of the pain I couldn't give a toss what it is as long as there's an answer to it.  It also means that I may get to have an x-ray done without having to wait 6 months+ for a consultant but I'll not hold my breath on that one.

Other than being in pain I've been playing a lot of Borderlands 2.  It's very similar to the first one but with some minor tweaks and quite a few more bugs (not the type that you shoot).  I've got loads of work to do at the moment and I knew I shouldn't have bought it, I forgot that I'd pre-ordered, it's just one of those games that steals days from you.  Before you know it half an hour turns into 5 hours and you're still chasing those few extra experience points to level-up.  I just keep on telling myself that the sooner I complete it the better because I can get back to work without any distractions.  I was the same with the first game so there's nothing new in any of this, I'm just getting older and easily distracted by anything that's not work, I think my productive years are behind me! Anyhoo, it is very good and if there's anybody looking for a game to eat up the hours and enjoys FPS/RPG type stuff then give it a go.    

Finally, I just checked on my fishing diary and it looks like we've had a total of 3 weeks summer this year. A week the end of March, a fairly nice week the end of May and that good week in August, that's yer lot.  The rest of it was a pile of wank.  What a happy thought that is with Christmas rapidly approaching and only 6 months to go till the next chance of a nice week.

Doctors

Finally took the time to go back to the doctors yesterday to try and get my back sorted once and for all (it's only been a year).  New Doctor is ace, hardly any wait, very friendly, wanting to look into things straight away...not a pain killer prescription in sight.

Then today I tried to get the ball rolling, a trip to the hospital first to schedule the x-ray.  Denied.  I am not over 55 so they will not x-ray my spine (no matter what the doctor who has just examined me says).  I'm 100% fucking sure that whatever dose of radiation they need is going to be of fook all consequence compared to the pain I've got to live in, but heh ho, it's the Isle of Man, "Where You Can!"  So I decided to go and book my blood tests instead, denied.  Having wasted an hour up at the hospital enough was enough so I came home to try and book the blood clinic appointment over the phone.  Denied.  25 minutes of trying with no joy, I'll try again later but the phone appears to be off the hook.

Finally, fucked off with having wasted yet another large chunk of my day trying to get this shit sorted I headed off to the chemist to pick up the prescription, this can't go wrong?  Denied.  The medication in question is in long term short supply on the island so I can either drive around the island hoping somebody has some old stock or go back to the doctor for a different prescription.

The Isle of Man....full off useless cunts.  Here's an idea, sack a few scrounging wastrels who do fuck all but push paper around and buy some fucking medicine so that I can then pay you for it.  Twats.

Update---- The phone is now back on the hook, but permanently engaged, at least it's progress!

 

Gym Toilets

Frankly Egypt smells better.  I don't know what they put in those protein shake things but if that's what falls out the other end then it can't be good for you.

Fat Kids In Liverpool T-Shirts

What is it that makes the little fuckers so determined to not see their next birthday?  If they're not jumping out into traffic they're falling of walls or running face first into a lamppost!  The dad in me really wanted to check to see if he was alright, the Manchester United supporter in me wanted to just roll on the floor pissing myself laughing*

* To be fair his own dad was also creased up laughing, well right up until the point where the screaching started anyway.

This Is Why Google Is Fucking Evil

See last post for context.

Porsche, Range Rover Or......

When you're a dot com billionaire how you get around is very important.  Me, I've always chosen to fly below the radar, first of all opting for the bus.  Then when the bus became more expensive than running a car (40k for a fucking bus driver, no wonder!) I decided to inherit the wifes old Rover.  What a beast, complete with the dodgiest wiring this side of Chernobyl, windows that didn't work and the sort of bubbling rust that would make the Titanic jealous. 

But all good things come to an end and so it was with the Rover, it was time for the knackers yard and time for me to splash some of that cash on a quality vehicle.  I never knew it would be so hard to pick a car.  When I was younger I would just go for something fast, sticky and stupidly expensive to insure.  That is where I started the search, from hot-hatches (I'm too old), to my dream Porsche (too young for my mid life crisis), to the practical Range Rover (great for towing the boat...cough...twice a year, but our drive is too small and the wife would want a bigger house ;)), to a Van.  I really really wanted a van to the point where I went to look at a couple but there was just always that nagging doubt of extra road tax, I'd probably use it for carrying stuff twice a year and what happens if I'm on taxi duty for the daughter and friends?  Bugger.

So after weeks of scouring adverts and going to look at things that I always want straight away and then change my mind after hours of deep thought later on do you know what I've settled on?  A Ford Fiesta.  Cheap to insure, cheap to run, it's practical enough for 99% of my day to day stuff.  It is a "nice" car.  Nice.  A nice car.  Fucking hell sometimes I hate me!

The Isle of Man Gets Another Mention At The Olympics

Olympic Diving Fail - watch more funny videos

Tact

I have none, fact.  Also, how the fuck did I manage to work in offices for 7+ years with so many bitchy 30/40 something women?  It is like being back in the playground and maybe it's just my older less tolerant self but I don't think I'd last a week in that sort of place any more.  How do you fellas do it?  If early retirement as a millionaire isn't motivation enough to pull my finger out I guess keeping me out of offices full of fucking idiots will do.

Why Lie?

There are probably times in life when things can be made a bit easier with a little lie, for example when the wife asks you anything...anything at all.  Dealing with a customer in your phone shop doesn't come across as one of those times so why does it seem that every time I have to deal with Manx Telecom they lie to me?

Manx Telecom are getting rid of the vast majority of their free Internet allowance on their mobile contracts (unless you buy a data add-on) so I decided to switch my contract to Sure, when I set off to do this at 10 this morning I assumed like a mental that I wasn't the first person to ever try and do this,  to be honest the service I got in Sure made it sound that way as well.  An hour tops she said, it took 45 minutes, with 1 stumbling block, my phone was network locked.

Bit of a bugger but nothing serious, 2 minutes later I was in the MT shop waiting to be served.  Happily enough I explained the problem.  The young lad told me I hadn't bought the phone from them because they don't lock them.  I explained again I had, 500 fucking quid, I remember it very well.  He denied it again.  Still in pleasant mode I explained I had bought it from them, I don't know where THEY bought it from but I'd definitely bought it from them.  So he eventually agreed to look, took the information he needed to get me an unlock code (if I had bought it from them) and disappeared out the back.  Another 2 minutes passed and he came back, admitted they had sold me the phone, it was an O2 phone and he had contacted them, took my details and said he'd phone me with the code within a couple of hours.  This is all very dull.  I was still very nice.  But he was lying.

6 hours later I have given up waiting and have just spent 20 minutes on the phone to Manx Telecom being passed from pillar to post.  If I have to explain to one more person that yes I bought my fucking phone from you and yes it is fucking locked I may go postal.  Eventually I speak to somebody who takes the time to look, no it wasn't an O2 phone, no they didn't phone them, no it won't take "about 2 hours".  The reality, I don't know where the hell Manx Telecom sourced my phone before selling it to me, nor do I give a shit.  They have e-mailed (excellent customer service right there) whoever it was and it may take a couple of days to get a response.  Frankly I was happy to have been told the truth, the SIM gets chucked in another phone for the time being, no biggy.  Isn't the truth great.

So why did that little sod lie in the first place?  What was the point?  I was being nice, I wasn't being shouty, all I wanted was my phone unlocking so I could use my new SIM in it.  They thought it shouldn't be locked, I thought it shouldn't be locked, get it unlocked and no harm done.  I hate this crap, there's just no need for it at all.  It makes me write really boring blog posts just to whinge about their shit customer service and that does nobody any favours, especially not on an island where you have no choice but to use Manx Telecom for some things.  

3 Things I Noticed This Week

1. England football fans are fucking idiots. They are acting all cool like they're not expecting much but then at the first sign that the team isn't a sack of wank* it's the usual "we're going to win it" shit. Football isn't coming home, 3 lions on your shirt mean fuck all when you fall over at the first sign of somebody invading your personal space and there is more pass and move in the local girls under 12 team.

2. Nobody in Europe likes the English. That is all.

3. Women and migraines. How come they never have a migraine when it's something they want to do? Oh no I'm sorry, I can't go out tonight drinking because I have a migraine, never heard it. Home early from work? You want to do what with that? Migraines ahoy. Also, men don't get migraines, we just have the odd headache, usually for a reason, that reason being something other than us having to do something we don't want to do.

*They must have been watching a different game to me, other than Ireland they are the worst team in the tournament by a long way.

Because Fat People Are Always Funny