Well we didn’t go anywhere or actually do much but it was a fantastic long weekend. It seemed to be a lot longer than the 4 days it was, probably as I was up so early everyday.
The highlight of the weekend, I suppose was buying the Guinea Pigs, who are officially called, Nemo & Boo, but collectively called “The Boyz”. Whilst cleaning them out on Sunday, Boo found a whole in the garden perimeter and ended up under the Decking, which could have been a nightmare. Luckily I didn’t panic, I just left a carrot near the entrance and he eventually showed up 20 mins later, just don’t tell the kids.
Apart from that, it was a lazy sunny weekend.
Lewis is in his play this evening, so we are all off to the Theatre to watch All My Sons. He met the rest of the cast this afternoon at 2.00pm and had his one and only rehearsal and then has the actual play tonight at 7.30pm. Fingers crossed that a) he remembers his lines and b) that the play is entertaining whilst he isn’t on stage.
The lads are popping round Thursday evening to play Halo, and talk shitte, and next Wednesday we are all meeting up again in Bar George. Hopefully Michael will be back from his 2 year extradition to Canada to join the party.
I noticed this weekend that my 11 year old son has the same size hands as me, which was a bit spooky. Either I have small girly hands, or Callum is going to be a big lad.
That’s it really, apart from the news that people are regularly having sex well up to their eighties… Well it’s good news for us oldies, and I’m sorry for the mental picture.
Plus this Story explains why every time I look at my wife I can’t make any decisions’.
In other news, Billy Bragg is playing on the Island next month. I used to really like Billy when I was in the Army and had a couple of his early Albums. Remembering that was back in 1988, which of course was a few years back. So I was half tempted to go and see him, but I can’t really be arsed and would rather spend the £15 on something else.
Later Days
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Egyptian Hierogliphes
So we've just got back from our 1 week "relaxing" break in Egypt and what a bloody experience that was. Apparantely Egyptian hospitality is world famous (according to the Egyption tourism department anyway), I think they've definately mixed up robbery and hospitality.
Within minutes of landing at Sharm el-Sheikh airport (which by the way has all the life of Ronaldsway on a miserable winter evening) we were being hassled, harrased and ultimately ripped off. We wanted visas which "should cost" £15 each, the Egyption "official" wanted 450 Egyption pound (ie from now on) which is not £45, close but still more. Pass through passport control and a baggage trolley is thrown in front of you, very nice you think except when the hand comes out and the bloke is demanding tips in English. He has cornered all the trolleys in the airport and this is the only way to get one. This is not a friendly happy experience but an aggressive, imtimidating really fucking annoying one. It's worth noting that there are literally dozens of security around at this point, all of them giving each other piggy backs and monkey scrubs! Anyhoo, we finally got outside of the airport and face the gauntlet of making our way to the coach. It's about 200 yards uphill to the coach park and the pavement is lined with people wanting to push your trolley. Will they take no thanks for an answer, will they bollacks, if you are elderly or struggling you may need a hand, we were fine but still the trolley was grabbed away from me twice and money was demanded. The only way to get rid of them is to say you have no money. One bloke even wanted money for stopping the coaches while we crossed the road, this road was a one way track with not a bloddy coach (you wouldn't even be able to get one down it) in sight yet still he stood there wanting "tips in English". By this point fuck off was about all I could manage. We got to the coach and I put the cases away, our rep is talking to some bloke who I presume is the driver, just as i'm finishing putting the hand luggage on he picks up S's bag and puts it on the cases, can you guess what is coming next? "Tips in English". Presuming this bloke was the driver (after all the rep was hugging and seemed very friendly with him), I gave him a pound, he then moved onto the next coach, hmmm I gues he wasn't the driver then? We've probably been in Egypt less than an hour at this point, we've not been left alone without people wanting money for maybe more than 1 minute. Everybody from the officials, security, and reps who are supposed to be there to welcome and look afetr you are on the make. That was our welcome to Egypt. I should mention that I was mentally prepared for Egypt (thanks to reading some guide books and websites) but with it all being quite friendly and good natured, it's really not. The pasengers on our coach all appeared a bit dazed and confused at what had just happened. I just had the red mist firmly in place and was ready to twat someone.
You can tell what a friendly place this is when you get to your hotel (the Cleopatra Tsokkos in our case), each is basically like a fort with high walls and security at each entrance. Outside of the few built up areas it is impossible to feel safe walking anywhere, even if you do risk it as we did a taxi will stop every thirty seconds meaning that it takes ages to get even a hundred yards down the road. Even though we had booked 2 rooms the hotel tried to offer us one room with 3 beds in it, we didn't realise that you had to barter for the accomodation you had paid for, "Welcome To Egypt!"
On our second day we ventured into Naama Bay with a ride in the hotel taxi. It later turned out that we were dropped of right in the outskirts of the actual tourist area we wanted to visit. We never made it that far. Within a few minutes we had been grabbed and taken into a little shop selling "authentic" Egyptian papyrus. There were people sleeping on the floor, clothes hanging up and Hassim the owner was really keen to lock the door get us some drinks and show us his art (yes he had hand drawn all this pictures). THREE HOURS later after we had gone through the picturs one by one twice, he had taken us to the cash point, we'd had free drinks we left with 2 pictures and a hole in our pocket for 450 ie (about £47). His starting offer was 2000ie for each picture so going by the tourist guide of one third of the starting price we thought we'd done ok (I guess the locals have also started reading these books). He did seem very nice and was certainly friendly enough even phoning the taxi to come and take us back to the hotel, still we knew we had been done but had no idea how much, boy we would find out later. One of the things he did say though was that Sharm el-Sheikh is only for tourists, there are no women, children or old people around. Young men come here to work and send money home. It is basically one great big tourist trap and has as much in common with Egyptian life as Douglas does. Another scary thing was that one of the blokes sleeping on his shop floor is studying at Cambridge, of all things bio-chemistry, now I wonder what that could be used for?
We spent most of the holiday by the pool really, there's not a lot I can say about the Hotel, if I started I could go on and on (it deserves a website all of it's own, like this - Sharm el Sheikh, Cleopatra Hotel) but lets just say we weren't overly impressed. Probably one thing worth saying is about the "mini-market" you see advertised in all the travel brochures, every hotel has one. This is not a shop to buy some bread, drinks and a packet of crisps as you might expect but is instead more shops selling papyrus and fake perfume actually attached to the hotel. The people running these are really aggressive (as I later found out they have to pay a premium to have their shops right in the tourists front yard). Our perfume seller was particularly nasty and a bit of a coont, he was trying to sell small jars of fake Channel for £30 a bottle! He got really upset when anybody said no to him and we heard from a few people who had bought just to escape his shop. On the way home we got talking to an irish couple who were followed back to their hotel room by one of the sellers in their hotel demanding that they give him money. They have a nasty habit of locking doors behind you in Egypt and it takes real skill to get out of there without buying something (or beiing ripped of as it should be called), fortunately S has a way with words and we were actually thrown out of our perfume shop, result! About the mini-markets, we have always travelled on the basis that what you forget you can get there, don't even think of doing this in Egypt unless of course you have forgotten cheap printed art and fake perfume.
There is one thing that Sharm has going for it, the coral reef. The Red Sea is well known as being a great diving area but the snorkelling from the beach is unbelievable. Tropical fish everywhere, this made the whole trip for us. That and L learning to swim out of her depth. I'll never forget S's face when she swam over the drop-off, where the reef meets the open sea. One second you are in water that would barely cover your knees if you stood up (100 yards from shore), the next you looking down at the sea floor 50 feet away. I guess this is what will keep people coming to Sharm and allow the locals to exploit and rip-off till their hearts content. Personally I think this place will fall on it's arse, everybody who we spoke to in the hotel, airport had been ripped of badly. I doubt if anybody we spoke to would ever go back, even with the fantastic reefs.
Nearly forgot, on our last day we went to a market to get some souvenires, it was a nice little shop that even had prices on things. We found papyrus art at the back, £2 a picture, we'd been done to the tune of £43 by our friend Hassim. Robbing b'stard coooonts!
Within minutes of landing at Sharm el-Sheikh airport (which by the way has all the life of Ronaldsway on a miserable winter evening) we were being hassled, harrased and ultimately ripped off. We wanted visas which "should cost" £15 each, the Egyption "official" wanted 450 Egyption pound (ie from now on) which is not £45, close but still more. Pass through passport control and a baggage trolley is thrown in front of you, very nice you think except when the hand comes out and the bloke is demanding tips in English. He has cornered all the trolleys in the airport and this is the only way to get one. This is not a friendly happy experience but an aggressive, imtimidating really fucking annoying one. It's worth noting that there are literally dozens of security around at this point, all of them giving each other piggy backs and monkey scrubs! Anyhoo, we finally got outside of the airport and face the gauntlet of making our way to the coach. It's about 200 yards uphill to the coach park and the pavement is lined with people wanting to push your trolley. Will they take no thanks for an answer, will they bollacks, if you are elderly or struggling you may need a hand, we were fine but still the trolley was grabbed away from me twice and money was demanded. The only way to get rid of them is to say you have no money. One bloke even wanted money for stopping the coaches while we crossed the road, this road was a one way track with not a bloddy coach (you wouldn't even be able to get one down it) in sight yet still he stood there wanting "tips in English". By this point fuck off was about all I could manage. We got to the coach and I put the cases away, our rep is talking to some bloke who I presume is the driver, just as i'm finishing putting the hand luggage on he picks up S's bag and puts it on the cases, can you guess what is coming next? "Tips in English". Presuming this bloke was the driver (after all the rep was hugging and seemed very friendly with him), I gave him a pound, he then moved onto the next coach, hmmm I gues he wasn't the driver then? We've probably been in Egypt less than an hour at this point, we've not been left alone without people wanting money for maybe more than 1 minute. Everybody from the officials, security, and reps who are supposed to be there to welcome and look afetr you are on the make. That was our welcome to Egypt. I should mention that I was mentally prepared for Egypt (thanks to reading some guide books and websites) but with it all being quite friendly and good natured, it's really not. The pasengers on our coach all appeared a bit dazed and confused at what had just happened. I just had the red mist firmly in place and was ready to twat someone.
You can tell what a friendly place this is when you get to your hotel (the Cleopatra Tsokkos in our case), each is basically like a fort with high walls and security at each entrance. Outside of the few built up areas it is impossible to feel safe walking anywhere, even if you do risk it as we did a taxi will stop every thirty seconds meaning that it takes ages to get even a hundred yards down the road. Even though we had booked 2 rooms the hotel tried to offer us one room with 3 beds in it, we didn't realise that you had to barter for the accomodation you had paid for, "Welcome To Egypt!"
On our second day we ventured into Naama Bay with a ride in the hotel taxi. It later turned out that we were dropped of right in the outskirts of the actual tourist area we wanted to visit. We never made it that far. Within a few minutes we had been grabbed and taken into a little shop selling "authentic" Egyptian papyrus. There were people sleeping on the floor, clothes hanging up and Hassim the owner was really keen to lock the door get us some drinks and show us his art (yes he had hand drawn all this pictures). THREE HOURS later after we had gone through the picturs one by one twice, he had taken us to the cash point, we'd had free drinks we left with 2 pictures and a hole in our pocket for 450 ie (about £47). His starting offer was 2000ie for each picture so going by the tourist guide of one third of the starting price we thought we'd done ok (I guess the locals have also started reading these books). He did seem very nice and was certainly friendly enough even phoning the taxi to come and take us back to the hotel, still we knew we had been done but had no idea how much, boy we would find out later. One of the things he did say though was that Sharm el-Sheikh is only for tourists, there are no women, children or old people around. Young men come here to work and send money home. It is basically one great big tourist trap and has as much in common with Egyptian life as Douglas does. Another scary thing was that one of the blokes sleeping on his shop floor is studying at Cambridge, of all things bio-chemistry, now I wonder what that could be used for?
We spent most of the holiday by the pool really, there's not a lot I can say about the Hotel, if I started I could go on and on (it deserves a website all of it's own, like this - Sharm el Sheikh, Cleopatra Hotel) but lets just say we weren't overly impressed. Probably one thing worth saying is about the "mini-market" you see advertised in all the travel brochures, every hotel has one. This is not a shop to buy some bread, drinks and a packet of crisps as you might expect but is instead more shops selling papyrus and fake perfume actually attached to the hotel. The people running these are really aggressive (as I later found out they have to pay a premium to have their shops right in the tourists front yard). Our perfume seller was particularly nasty and a bit of a coont, he was trying to sell small jars of fake Channel for £30 a bottle! He got really upset when anybody said no to him and we heard from a few people who had bought just to escape his shop. On the way home we got talking to an irish couple who were followed back to their hotel room by one of the sellers in their hotel demanding that they give him money. They have a nasty habit of locking doors behind you in Egypt and it takes real skill to get out of there without buying something (or beiing ripped of as it should be called), fortunately S has a way with words and we were actually thrown out of our perfume shop, result! About the mini-markets, we have always travelled on the basis that what you forget you can get there, don't even think of doing this in Egypt unless of course you have forgotten cheap printed art and fake perfume.
There is one thing that Sharm has going for it, the coral reef. The Red Sea is well known as being a great diving area but the snorkelling from the beach is unbelievable. Tropical fish everywhere, this made the whole trip for us. That and L learning to swim out of her depth. I'll never forget S's face when she swam over the drop-off, where the reef meets the open sea. One second you are in water that would barely cover your knees if you stood up (100 yards from shore), the next you looking down at the sea floor 50 feet away. I guess this is what will keep people coming to Sharm and allow the locals to exploit and rip-off till their hearts content. Personally I think this place will fall on it's arse, everybody who we spoke to in the hotel, airport had been ripped of badly. I doubt if anybody we spoke to would ever go back, even with the fantastic reefs.
Nearly forgot, on our last day we went to a market to get some souvenires, it was a nice little shop that even had prices on things. We found papyrus art at the back, £2 a picture, we'd been done to the tune of £43 by our friend Hassim. Robbing b'stard coooonts!
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Seems I'm not dead
So, it wasn't my last blog. Of course, this one might be. I might get run over by a bus. That would be strange as I'm currently confined to my couch.
Try saying Settee or Chesterfield in Canuckland. Actually don't. It's not worth it.
My operation seemed to go fine. I was waiting in the Operating Theatre holding area. I was so relaxed. I asked the nurse what was in my drip as it was working a treat. She said nothing, they hadn't given me any drugs yet.
I love hospitals and that whole General Anaesthetic thing. It's soooo mellow. It's a good thing I don't take drugs coz I'd be a total addict, I think they're ace. I love that bit just before you go under, that's what we should all strive for in our lives. Drug induced comas.
Anyway, I'm not dead.
And to prove I'm not totally anti-Canada, I have to say it was the friendliest most pleasant hospital I've ever been in. And two of the nurses were pretty hot. And one other was a total stunner. I kid you not.
Try saying Settee or Chesterfield in Canuckland. Actually don't. It's not worth it.
My operation seemed to go fine. I was waiting in the Operating Theatre holding area. I was so relaxed. I asked the nurse what was in my drip as it was working a treat. She said nothing, they hadn't given me any drugs yet.
I love hospitals and that whole General Anaesthetic thing. It's soooo mellow. It's a good thing I don't take drugs coz I'd be a total addict, I think they're ace. I love that bit just before you go under, that's what we should all strive for in our lives. Drug induced comas.
Anyway, I'm not dead.
And to prove I'm not totally anti-Canada, I have to say it was the friendliest most pleasant hospital I've ever been in. And two of the nurses were pretty hot. And one other was a total stunner. I kid you not.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Gene Pitney
It's Gene Pitney's funeral today.
His family wanted a coffin made from solid oak.
The carpenter said "well, that would take about week to build......
.....but I could make one in 24 hours from balsa"
His family wanted a coffin made from solid oak.
The carpenter said "well, that would take about week to build......
.....but I could make one in 24 hours from balsa"
My Last Ever Blog?
I can't remember if I'd mentioned this, but I'm having knee surgery today (13th).
Hopefully, it will go well.
However, if I die on the table, this will be my last ever blog.
I'd like to say, once and for all, that I don't like cheap toilet paper or cheap sellotape.
Why can't long haul aeroplanes be done in bunk bed style? If the seats were all horizontal, then you could stack people and everyone would get to lie down.
I don't like tipping. You fret all the way through your meal knowing you have to tip at the end. How about tipping at the start. A big tip means "do your very best preparing my meal" while a small tip means "please feel free to spit in my lasagne".
I think we should do away with cars altogether. Put tarpauling roofing over the roads and give everyone motorized rollerblades. We'd save energy and stop obesity in it's tracks.
Finally, could everyone please keep an eye on my life partner Shirley and our various sprogs? If she's looking hungry, give her some cheese or maybe a nice sponge cake.
Wish me luck
Hopefully, it will go well.
However, if I die on the table, this will be my last ever blog.
I'd like to say, once and for all, that I don't like cheap toilet paper or cheap sellotape.
Why can't long haul aeroplanes be done in bunk bed style? If the seats were all horizontal, then you could stack people and everyone would get to lie down.
I don't like tipping. You fret all the way through your meal knowing you have to tip at the end. How about tipping at the start. A big tip means "do your very best preparing my meal" while a small tip means "please feel free to spit in my lasagne".
I think we should do away with cars altogether. Put tarpauling roofing over the roads and give everyone motorized rollerblades. We'd save energy and stop obesity in it's tracks.
Finally, could everyone please keep an eye on my life partner Shirley and our various sprogs? If she's looking hungry, give her some cheese or maybe a nice sponge cake.
Wish me luck
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
First Time Parents
Nice device. I might buy two.
First time parents eh? They're under the impression that their babe is made of porcelain and that no-one has ever been through it before.
My favourite myth is the one about not sleeping with your baby as you'll roll over and crush it. However, I'm pretty certain that millions of years of evolution will have weeded those people out. Sure enough, I used to wake up in all kinds of bizarre positions and with incredible neck ache, but my babies were always intact.
Note: Being out of your skull on smack/claret probably trumps evolution.
First time parents eh? They're under the impression that their babe is made of porcelain and that no-one has ever been through it before.
My favourite myth is the one about not sleeping with your baby as you'll roll over and crush it. However, I'm pretty certain that millions of years of evolution will have weeded those people out. Sure enough, I used to wake up in all kinds of bizarre positions and with incredible neck ache, but my babies were always intact.
Note: Being out of your skull on smack/claret probably trumps evolution.
The AA Update
After trying to get through 10 times and being told, “Fucking Cooont can’t you see we’re up to our collective eye balls”, I finally actually got through to a Queue.
After waiting 45 mins on hold listening to cooonting Vivaldi, I finally got through to a real person (a nice Geordie Lass) who told me to ignore the letter as it crossed in the post with the details they were after.
What a waste of 45 mins. Coooonts the lot of them.
And whilst I have your attention; are they fucking serious:
http://www.why-cry.co.uk/acatalog/faqs.html
How on earth can they prove it works?
I mean, I’ll buy almost any worthless gadget, but I’ll have to draw the line at this one.
After waiting 45 mins on hold listening to cooonting Vivaldi, I finally got through to a real person (a nice Geordie Lass) who told me to ignore the letter as it crossed in the post with the details they were after.
What a waste of 45 mins. Coooonts the lot of them.
And whilst I have your attention; are they fucking serious:
http://www.why-cry.co.uk/acatalog/faqs.html
How on earth can they prove it works?
I mean, I’ll buy almost any worthless gadget, but I’ll have to draw the line at this one.
Bollocks
I have literally done nothing at work for the last three weeks. It got to the point now that I can’t even be bothered to do the few little things I have to do, which makes me think it’s time for a change, especially as there is still no news on my MSCA course.
I really feel like a change, a whole new career. I wonder if Steve needs an apprentice, I’ve always wanted to be an apprentice, ever since watching Mickey Mouse and that broom that get’s water from the well.
What other options are there? I have my heavy goods licence, I could be a long distance lorry driver, however, the Isle of Man is only 32 miles long or short as it where, which means I’d be finished driving by 10.30am and have to take the rest of the day off.
I love ironing, but if I did it all day, would I still love it? Is there money in it?
What about the Spud U Like shop idea of Maxine’s? That would be good, although location would be extremely important, you would also need capital etc. Nope, just talked myself out of that.
Christ I don’t know… Can’t I just win the lottery for Christ sakes?
On an aside, has anyone caught Stacked on the Paramount channel? Pamela Anderson doing what she does best and it is surprisingly well written and acted. Just a fun program, which I highly recommend.
That should be it for today, more pointless posts tomorrow.
I really feel like a change, a whole new career. I wonder if Steve needs an apprentice, I’ve always wanted to be an apprentice, ever since watching Mickey Mouse and that broom that get’s water from the well.
What other options are there? I have my heavy goods licence, I could be a long distance lorry driver, however, the Isle of Man is only 32 miles long or short as it where, which means I’d be finished driving by 10.30am and have to take the rest of the day off.
I love ironing, but if I did it all day, would I still love it? Is there money in it?
What about the Spud U Like shop idea of Maxine’s? That would be good, although location would be extremely important, you would also need capital etc. Nope, just talked myself out of that.
Christ I don’t know… Can’t I just win the lottery for Christ sakes?
On an aside, has anyone caught Stacked on the Paramount channel? Pamela Anderson doing what she does best and it is surprisingly well written and acted. Just a fun program, which I highly recommend.
That should be it for today, more pointless posts tomorrow.
The AA
Fuckers, I swapped car insurance with them the other week, and they wanted proof of my No Claims, which I sent via Royal Mail. I then get a letter back off them saying they haven’t received anything from me and they are going to cancel my Insurance if I don’t get in touch.
Bastard coooonts.
MSN Messenger v’s Google Chat
Why is everyone talking to me via Google chat, it’s shitte. First of all you have to sign in specifically to Gmail, and then you have to have that window open to see if anyone has texted you.
At least in Messenger in runs via the O/S and in pops up and tells you someone has sent you a message.
So you fuckers out there sending me gmail chat messages that I don’t notice for 30 mins, and by that time, you’ve gone, STOP IT.
Get a Messenger account, or email me, there are no alternatives (apart from the phone possibly, or Royal Mail).
End of Rant
At least in Messenger in runs via the O/S and in pops up and tells you someone has sent you a message.
So you fuckers out there sending me gmail chat messages that I don’t notice for 30 mins, and by that time, you’ve gone, STOP IT.
Get a Messenger account, or email me, there are no alternatives (apart from the phone possibly, or Royal Mail).
End of Rant
Disparity in Postings
After Michael’s comments the other day I went over the last 100 postings on this blog and noticed a subtle theme running through it. I do all the posting.
Out of the last 100:
Mike: 14 posts
Ady: 4 posts
Paulie B: 3 posts
Me: 79 posts
Can you see the difference, the commitment that some of us are showing and others are just coasting along, claiming to be “too busy” at work, or crying “they took away my internet access for abuse of the system”.
Pussy’s the lot of them.
Out of the last 100:
Mike: 14 posts
Ady: 4 posts
Paulie B: 3 posts
Me: 79 posts
Can you see the difference, the commitment that some of us are showing and others are just coasting along, claiming to be “too busy” at work, or crying “they took away my internet access for abuse of the system”.
Pussy’s the lot of them.
Naivety Award
This award goes to Ady’s sister who whilst half way through her pregnancy stated she wasn’t too worried about the actual birth as she’s heard it’s “just like bad period pains.”
Yesterday after 17 hours of pushing, and all the drugs she could get her hands on, she calved a little monster of 9lb 9oz, and I bet the last thing she wanted to hear is someone reminding her of her pervious statement.
Congrats to her and Tony, on their little boy, Reese.
Yesterday after 17 hours of pushing, and all the drugs she could get her hands on, she calved a little monster of 9lb 9oz, and I bet the last thing she wanted to hear is someone reminding her of her pervious statement.
Congrats to her and Tony, on their little boy, Reese.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Bless Him
I mentioned to Lewis that if he gave me £300, I would be able to get SKY HD and that we would then move the Sky Plus box into his room, allowing him to recorded all his own shows.
He has jumped at the chance, and wants his Mum to pop down to the Post Office to get the money out of his savings.
Now all we have to do is talk his Mum round to handing over her son’s hard saved money, or failing that we forge her signature.
The Children really are the future!
He has jumped at the chance, and wants his Mum to pop down to the Post Office to get the money out of his savings.
Now all we have to do is talk his Mum round to handing over her son’s hard saved money, or failing that we forge her signature.
The Children really are the future!
Yesterday
I was going to spend my last morning off work playing Tomb Raider, but I decided to start by watching a new series I had recorded, Criminal Minds, and doing some ironing for an hour and then get stuck into Lara before collecting Daniel from Nursery.
However, I was enjoying the series so much, and the ironing that I gave up on Lara, and spent 3 hours ironing and watching TV.
What a fantastic way to spend a morning.
Plus in other news that I forgot to mention, we bought a Rabbit Hutch on Saturday, and when I went to pick it up, I told the Lady behind the counter that we had bought the hutch on Saturday, and I was here to pick it up. “Oh the Posh One”, which speaks volumes. Therefore, after spending £70 on a Rabbit (why do I always feel like putting double tt at the end of Rabbit) hutch it turns out we aren’t getting any Rabbit’s. We are now going for more children friendly Guinea Pigs. We best get something to put in the damn thing.
Off to the Lawyers in a few hours so I’ll let you all know what they say.
I think that’s it.
However, I was enjoying the series so much, and the ironing that I gave up on Lara, and spent 3 hours ironing and watching TV.
What a fantastic way to spend a morning.
Plus in other news that I forgot to mention, we bought a Rabbit Hutch on Saturday, and when I went to pick it up, I told the Lady behind the counter that we had bought the hutch on Saturday, and I was here to pick it up. “Oh the Posh One”, which speaks volumes. Therefore, after spending £70 on a Rabbit (why do I always feel like putting double tt at the end of Rabbit) hutch it turns out we aren’t getting any Rabbit’s. We are now going for more children friendly Guinea Pigs. We best get something to put in the damn thing.
Off to the Lawyers in a few hours so I’ll let you all know what they say.
I think that’s it.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Long Weekend
I decided that work wasn’t for me at the moment and took a long weekend as a last minute thing on Thursday. Friday was fantastic, just relaxing and waiting for Tomb Raider Legends to be delivered. When it finally was delivered, I ripped it open and threw it in the Xbox 360 and waited for it to boot up. However, it came up with an error message, it turns out that Play.com had sent 200 of the Xbox versions out instead of the 360 version, DOH! So I shot downtown and bought it there.
Can I just add to those Lara Croft fans that she looks super hot.
Saturday was another lazy day, we picked Callum up, but he spent virtually all day in his room watching football, I hardly know him any more. And Saturday night we watched Underworld Evolution, which was at best just OK.
Sunday was a weird weather day; there was glorious sunshine in the morning, then rain and finally Snow. With the biggest snow flakes ever, honestly.
And today is another Day off, and I shall fill the morning with, ironing, hovering, empting the dishwasher, and playing with Lara.
Oh! One other final comment, I finally managed to bring defecation into the 21st Century. You know how a man can’t go to the toilet unless he has something to read? Well, I’ve gone one better, I’ve left the Nintendo DS in there, which has a load of mini-games on, that you can while away the 20/30 mins doing your movements.
That’ it really I’m going to enjoy the rest of the day, see the Lawyer tomorrow, and then it’s another long weekend starting on Friday.
Later Days
Can I just add to those Lara Croft fans that she looks super hot.
Saturday was another lazy day, we picked Callum up, but he spent virtually all day in his room watching football, I hardly know him any more. And Saturday night we watched Underworld Evolution, which was at best just OK.
Sunday was a weird weather day; there was glorious sunshine in the morning, then rain and finally Snow. With the biggest snow flakes ever, honestly.
And today is another Day off, and I shall fill the morning with, ironing, hovering, empting the dishwasher, and playing with Lara.
Oh! One other final comment, I finally managed to bring defecation into the 21st Century. You know how a man can’t go to the toilet unless he has something to read? Well, I’ve gone one better, I’ve left the Nintendo DS in there, which has a load of mini-games on, that you can while away the 20/30 mins doing your movements.
That’ it really I’m going to enjoy the rest of the day, see the Lawyer tomorrow, and then it’s another long weekend starting on Friday.
Later Days
Oh Land of Thy Birth
Last Tuesday I visited the City of my birth. I was born in Scarborough, Ontario, Canada. Scarborough is to Toronto what Onchan is to Douglas. Only Scarborough is the size of Leeds.
Frequently, my mother has commented that she wished our family had never left Canada and gone to the Rock. We actually left there when I was six weeks old and I've never seen it since.
Until (as I may have mentioned) last Tuesday.
What can I say that won't have me branded a fully paid up member of the KKK?
You see...we had to get a bus from the train station to the zoo. The bus was pretty full. There were actually 31 people on it. Five were white* Five. There's four people in my family for Gods sake. If it wasn't for us white trash tourists there would've been only one white guy on board! And he got off before us. And the train, train station and passers-by I could see showed we hadn't accidentally got on the Rasta Bus. We were surrounded.
The thing about going to another country is that you aren't really justified in ranting about it's way of life. If you don't like it, there's a boat in the morning.
So I can't wait to get home to really rip into the DHSS, MHKs, the price of beer in nightclubs, the lack of totty in Strand Street and the general state of the roads. And I'll have the right to do it.
Thankyou and good night.
*Out of interest, my definition of white goes from Finland to Greece. We're not just talking Anglo-Saxons.
Frequently, my mother has commented that she wished our family had never left Canada and gone to the Rock. We actually left there when I was six weeks old and I've never seen it since.
Until (as I may have mentioned) last Tuesday.
What can I say that won't have me branded a fully paid up member of the KKK?
You see...we had to get a bus from the train station to the zoo. The bus was pretty full. There were actually 31 people on it. Five were white* Five. There's four people in my family for Gods sake. If it wasn't for us white trash tourists there would've been only one white guy on board! And he got off before us. And the train, train station and passers-by I could see showed we hadn't accidentally got on the Rasta Bus. We were surrounded.
The thing about going to another country is that you aren't really justified in ranting about it's way of life. If you don't like it, there's a boat in the morning.
So I can't wait to get home to really rip into the DHSS, MHKs, the price of beer in nightclubs, the lack of totty in Strand Street and the general state of the roads. And I'll have the right to do it.
Thankyou and good night.
*Out of interest, my definition of white goes from Finland to Greece. We're not just talking Anglo-Saxons.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Rant about Lawyers & Social Security
Years ago, I left my then wife, and I walked out with nothing. She kept the House, Car, House Contents, Life Assurance etc, literally everything except my clothes.
As part of this I signed a Divorce Agreement that states:
The husband and wife hereby acknowledge that save as appears hereinafter they have no further financial or property claims on against the other whatsoever.
Which has been fine for the last 11 years, I have not paid maintenance but I do pay half of Callum’s school stuff. This is mainly as I want to feel as if I am involved in his Schooling, involved as it were with his growing up. Plus of course I have bought him clothes etc as and when needed.
Like I said this has been fine for 11 years.
That’s the back story.
Now the other week the ex-wife went to claim Income Support from the DHSS and during the process revealed that I don’t pay maintenance. Now I only have her word on this, but I tend to think it’s true, but she said to the DHSS that she is happy with that and that she doesn’t want to rock the boat as we get along just fine the way it is. However, the DHSS said that she has to seek legal aid and claim the maintenance off me, otherwise they wouldn’t pay her benefits.
So she had no choice but jump through the hoops to get her Income Support.
She then went to the same Lawyers that drafted the original Divorce agreement and told them what the DHSS said.
They have now written to me, and said that the original document didn’t include Maintenance for our Son and that I have to start paying it, and that the DHSS sets the minimum acceptable level of maintenance at £42.40 per week, or £183.73 per calendar month.
Which quite frankly we can’t really afford as we over spend every month as it is.
BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.
Who the fuck do the DHSS think they are getting involved in that in the first place? Coooonts.
And what the fuck about the Lawyers, they are now saying that the agreement they wrote doesn’t mean what they said. Coooonts.
Now I have to go to the lawyers at £175 per hour to see where I stand….. Coooonts
All of them are coooooooonts.
If in a worse case scenario I have to start paying, then I should get half of our joint assets at the time of the split, as I only signed everything over in lew of paying maintenance, if I now have to pay maintenance, and add that to the fact I got nothing out of marriage it looks like I was well and truly screwed.
Christ. I just know this is going to end in tears and large wholes in my wages.
Coooooooonts everywhere. Bastards.
As part of this I signed a Divorce Agreement that states:
The husband and wife hereby acknowledge that save as appears hereinafter they have no further financial or property claims on against the other whatsoever.
Which has been fine for the last 11 years, I have not paid maintenance but I do pay half of Callum’s school stuff. This is mainly as I want to feel as if I am involved in his Schooling, involved as it were with his growing up. Plus of course I have bought him clothes etc as and when needed.
Like I said this has been fine for 11 years.
That’s the back story.
Now the other week the ex-wife went to claim Income Support from the DHSS and during the process revealed that I don’t pay maintenance. Now I only have her word on this, but I tend to think it’s true, but she said to the DHSS that she is happy with that and that she doesn’t want to rock the boat as we get along just fine the way it is. However, the DHSS said that she has to seek legal aid and claim the maintenance off me, otherwise they wouldn’t pay her benefits.
So she had no choice but jump through the hoops to get her Income Support.
She then went to the same Lawyers that drafted the original Divorce agreement and told them what the DHSS said.
They have now written to me, and said that the original document didn’t include Maintenance for our Son and that I have to start paying it, and that the DHSS sets the minimum acceptable level of maintenance at £42.40 per week, or £183.73 per calendar month.
Which quite frankly we can’t really afford as we over spend every month as it is.
BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT.
Who the fuck do the DHSS think they are getting involved in that in the first place? Coooonts.
And what the fuck about the Lawyers, they are now saying that the agreement they wrote doesn’t mean what they said. Coooonts.
Now I have to go to the lawyers at £175 per hour to see where I stand….. Coooonts
All of them are coooooooonts.
If in a worse case scenario I have to start paying, then I should get half of our joint assets at the time of the split, as I only signed everything over in lew of paying maintenance, if I now have to pay maintenance, and add that to the fact I got nothing out of marriage it looks like I was well and truly screwed.
Christ. I just know this is going to end in tears and large wholes in my wages.
Coooooooonts everywhere. Bastards.
Karma
As stated before on this blog, I am a big believer in Karma, what goes around, comes around. So after standing my wife up for lunch yesterday lunch time, Karma in her infinite wisdom decided to her own back on me.
As stated yesterday I was meant to meet an old School friend for a few pints last night. I was dropped off at the Pub at 7:55pm fully expecting to meet John at 8.00pm. However, he didn’t turn up and I had to wait till 9:20pm before the other two lads turned up.
Ain’t payback a bitch!
But I held my hands up and took my punishment on the chin.
As stated yesterday I was meant to meet an old School friend for a few pints last night. I was dropped off at the Pub at 7:55pm fully expecting to meet John at 8.00pm. However, he didn’t turn up and I had to wait till 9:20pm before the other two lads turned up.
Ain’t payback a bitch!
But I held my hands up and took my punishment on the chin.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
One Thing to Do
I had one thing to do today, well apart from look busy and not get caught reading the Internet all day, and that was to meet my wife for lunch…
Did I remember, did I bollocks.
In fact, Ady rang up just as I was leaving to go to the Gym seeing if I wanted to do lunch, you think that would have rung a few Alarm Bells.
What a stupid coooont I am.
I am really sorry honey for standing you up.
I might have a big rant tomorrow on Lawyers and Social Services.
Did I remember, did I bollocks.
In fact, Ady rang up just as I was leaving to go to the Gym seeing if I wanted to do lunch, you think that would have rung a few Alarm Bells.
What a stupid coooont I am.
I am really sorry honey for standing you up.
I might have a big rant tomorrow on Lawyers and Social Services.
Tarantulas
Since the children are getting their way and getting Bunny Rabbits, I thought I would stamp and stamp my feet until Mum got me a pet.
Therefore, I have been sending the foxiest chick on the planet (NO, not Cat Dealy), my good lady wife links to various Spider Sites. My favourite being this one;
http://www.bugsdirectuk.com/tarantulas.html
I bet you I get more use out of my Spider than those pesky kids get with their soppy bunny rabbits.
Not sure, which one to order yet, as long as it is big and hairy, I am not bothered.
The Chile Rose Tarantulas looks good, but I like the sound of the Giant Red-Legged.
I have just found another site.
http://www.exotic-pets.co.uk/products.php?cat=13&let=0
Does anyone out there own or know owners of Tarantulas’?
I’m out tonight with a couple of the lads, which is always nice.
And in other news, a direct quote from my Boss to his Boss.
“You will also recall the allegation that I was probably under valuing our Computer resource.”
Damn straight, he does…
Therefore, I have been sending the foxiest chick on the planet (NO, not Cat Dealy), my good lady wife links to various Spider Sites. My favourite being this one;
http://www.bugsdirectuk.com/tarantulas.html
I bet you I get more use out of my Spider than those pesky kids get with their soppy bunny rabbits.
Not sure, which one to order yet, as long as it is big and hairy, I am not bothered.
The Chile Rose Tarantulas looks good, but I like the sound of the Giant Red-Legged.
I have just found another site.
http://www.exotic-pets.co.uk/products.php?cat=13&let=0
Does anyone out there own or know owners of Tarantulas’?
I’m out tonight with a couple of the lads, which is always nice.
And in other news, a direct quote from my Boss to his Boss.
“You will also recall the allegation that I was probably under valuing our Computer resource.”
Damn straight, he does…
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
What to Say today
After yesterday’s two marathon posts, I feel the need to get something off my chest. However, there is nothing to get off my chest. I don’t really like work at the moment, and so can’t be arsed to do anything whilst I’m here. I do wake up each morning hoping for some mild illness that would give me the slightest excuse to take a day off. The only thing keeping me here is the fact there are no jobs out there suited to me, and on the half chance that I might actually get the training course they promised.
Things to look forward to this weekend;
Wednesday I am meeting my mate at Bar George whom I haven’t seen in 20 odd years, which will be good to catch up on what we’ve accomplished so far with our lives.
On Friday the latest Tomb Raider game is released and I have ordered the 360 version. Luckily enough, my stunningly beautiful life partner is out with the girls that night, so I should be able to have a pleasant evening playing with Lara.
I was hoping that we could have a family movie night on Saturday, with popcorn and Hotdogs and sweets and watch my latest DVD purchase:
The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
However, we might not have all the children here.
Of course we may be out purchasing a Bunny Rabbit or two (more likely two, so they can keep each other company, however, they will have to be same sex bunnies).
That’s about it as far as I can remember; I must also move the spare TV from Lewis’ room to ours.
Things to look forward to this weekend;
Wednesday I am meeting my mate at Bar George whom I haven’t seen in 20 odd years, which will be good to catch up on what we’ve accomplished so far with our lives.
On Friday the latest Tomb Raider game is released and I have ordered the 360 version. Luckily enough, my stunningly beautiful life partner is out with the girls that night, so I should be able to have a pleasant evening playing with Lara.
I was hoping that we could have a family movie night on Saturday, with popcorn and Hotdogs and sweets and watch my latest DVD purchase:
The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
However, we might not have all the children here.
Of course we may be out purchasing a Bunny Rabbit or two (more likely two, so they can keep each other company, however, they will have to be same sex bunnies).
That’s about it as far as I can remember; I must also move the spare TV from Lewis’ room to ours.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Rabbits, Spiders, Snakes and Rats
God knows where it has come from but my sensual good lady wife wants to get the children a Rabbit.
I actually don’t mind, but I know, just know, who will be left to look after it for 99% of the time, The Wife.
She does too much around the house as it is, without another pet to look after.
Plus how often are the children actually going to “do” anything with the damn thing? It will have to stay outside, and being in the
So maybe once a weekend, between May and August it will be taken out a stroked and chased around the back garden…
Is it worth it I ask myself?
Now if everyone went for one of my ideas that would be different. I suggested either Giant Spider (I love spiders), Snake or Rat. I would LOVE a spider for Fathers day, a nice big tarantula.
However, they want a Rabbit.
I suggest the kids read this:
http://www.fuzzy-rabbit.com/faq.htm
And I quote from the above source:
“Should I get my child a rabbit?
The short answer is no. Rabbits hate being picked up and cuddled. Most children will want to hug the rabbit and may end up being scratched and bitten. Bunnies don't like losing contact with the ground. They can't run away from predators if you are holding them and they will fight to get put back on the ground. After a while children lose interest in the rabbit, and it ends up in a small cage in the backyard with virtually no human interaction. Rabbits have such a subtle way of communicating that it can be irritating for children who just want to play with the rabbit.”
The Rhythm is Going to Get You!
Things were fine for the first 10 mins, and then the three lads started talking football (all three were huge Man U fans), which of course I haven’t a clue about. I couldn’t even tell you who is in the Premiership. Therefore, I just concentrated on the “Guest Ales” and let them crack on. There was some respite whilst we ate the EXCELLENT food, but then they spent 30 mins (that’s thirty whole minutes) talking about the Old Trafford pitch??? 30 minutes talking about grass eh!
Well that was me, I went and sat with the Shelia’s in the corner. From that point on it starts to get blurry. Since I hadn’t been able to join in the Football conversation at the bar, I had concentrated on drinking pints of bitter, which meant by the time I sat down with the girls I was very merry. By this time, some fella on a keyboard was singing in the corner, which was a perfect opportunity to get up and dance. Luckily, the girls got up with me. That was me then, I just danced and danced all night. The highlight was when he did Mustang Sally…. For those of you who don’t know, Mustang Sally has a hold on me, as soon as I hear it, I have to dance, and the dancing usually ends up with me taking half my clothes off, I don’t know what it is, but that song really get’s under my skin. Maxine joined me on the floor and we gyrated and sexed our way through the song to the open jaws of the crowd, whom I had even forgotten was there….
When the pub shut we moved on to the piano bar and Kim refused to walk as she doesn’t do walking, she even drives to the corner shop from her house which must be all of 30 meters away. Anyhoo I was adamant that she wasn’t getting a Taxi, so I lifted her on my back and ran all the way to the next Bar… (Don’t ask me why?)
Friday, March 31, 2006
Rugby Fixtures this Weekend.
Thank god for SKY+
How many will you watch?
Date Fixture Channel Competition
Fri 31 Newcastle v Connacht (7.30pm) SS2 7pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Chiefs v Highlanders (8.35am) SS3 8.30am Super 14
Sat 01 Leicester v Bath (12.30pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Toulouse v Leinster (3pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Bradford v Hull BBC1 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Munster v Perpignan (5.30pm) SS1 5.15pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Wigan v Wakefield BBC2 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sun 02 Biarritz v Sale Sharks (5pm) SS2 4.30pm Heineken Cup
How many will you watch?
Date Fixture Channel Competition
Fri 31 Newcastle v Connacht (7.30pm) SS2 7pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Chiefs v Highlanders (8.35am) SS3 8.30am Super 14
Sat 01 Leicester v Bath (12.30pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Toulouse v Leinster (3pm) SS2 12pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Bradford v Hull BBC1 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sat 01 Munster v Perpignan (5.30pm) SS1 5.15pm Heineken Cup
Sat 01 Wigan v Wakefield BBC2 2.30pm Challenge Cup
Sun 02 Biarritz v Sale Sharks (5pm) SS2 4.30pm Heineken Cup
Coooonts !!!!!!!!
Another year’s pay review has come and gone, and once again no bonus.
Bastard coooonts.
The only thing we get is a 2.1% pay rise, and at my measly salary that’s only £500 a year, which works out at £41.50 extra per month.
Bastard coooonts the lot of them.
I find out on Monday if my £5,000 training course has been approved, which would be something I suppose. However, I would rather have half the money in cash, which means both of us are happy. They save £2500 and I get some spending.
Bastard coooonts.
Bastard coooonts.
The only thing we get is a 2.1% pay rise, and at my measly salary that’s only £500 a year, which works out at £41.50 extra per month.
Bastard coooonts the lot of them.
I find out on Monday if my £5,000 training course has been approved, which would be something I suppose. However, I would rather have half the money in cash, which means both of us are happy. They save £2500 and I get some spending.
Bastard coooonts.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Stag Weekend.
A Good Soldier.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4856074.stm
Why all this uproar and commotion over ID cards. I personally think it’s a good idea, maybe it’s because I am a good soldier and do as I’m told. Maybe it’s because I am a mostly law abiding citizen, that doesn’t intend to be a burglar, rapist or murderer and therefore don’t mind the Government having my DNA on record.
I really can’t see all the fuss, what are people afraid of? It’s not big brother, it’s just makes sense, if it cut’s down NHS fraud, which is something like £32 billion a year, surely that money saved can be spent on health and education…
Come on people, if you’ve got nothing to hide then step up and get your finger prints taken.
If you don’t like it, there’s a plane every morning to Russia, Iraq or Afghanistan… You commie bastards…
Why all this uproar and commotion over ID cards. I personally think it’s a good idea, maybe it’s because I am a good soldier and do as I’m told. Maybe it’s because I am a mostly law abiding citizen, that doesn’t intend to be a burglar, rapist or murderer and therefore don’t mind the Government having my DNA on record.
I really can’t see all the fuss, what are people afraid of? It’s not big brother, it’s just makes sense, if it cut’s down NHS fraud, which is something like £32 billion a year, surely that money saved can be spent on health and education…
Come on people, if you’ve got nothing to hide then step up and get your finger prints taken.
If you don’t like it, there’s a plane every morning to Russia, Iraq or Afghanistan… You commie bastards…
Boring
If I wore these glasses all day at work, there would be alarm bells ringing.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4856050.stm
They are all a bunch of boring geeky accountant nerds (at least most of them are)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4856050.stm
They are all a bunch of boring geeky accountant nerds (at least most of them are)
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
What the hell have I got to say?
Nothing!
I’ve had stuff to do at work recently, just spreadsheets, but it’s been nice to see the days fly by. Apart from that there is nothing to say.
I had a most enjoyable quiet night out with the wife on Monday; we had a quiet night in last night. We are watching “Red Eye” tonight and I’m watching “Doom” tomorrow night.
Saturday we are out with a load of people.
That is basically it.
There is a rumour that we will find out our bonus figures this Friday or lack of bonus figures as it turned out this time last year… cooonts.
That’s it really.
I was going to comment on these two articles, but I can’t be arsed.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4853548.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4853318.stm
Have a great rest of the weekend.
I’ve had stuff to do at work recently, just spreadsheets, but it’s been nice to see the days fly by. Apart from that there is nothing to say.
I had a most enjoyable quiet night out with the wife on Monday; we had a quiet night in last night. We are watching “Red Eye” tonight and I’m watching “Doom” tomorrow night.
Saturday we are out with a load of people.
That is basically it.
There is a rumour that we will find out our bonus figures this Friday or lack of bonus figures as it turned out this time last year… cooonts.
That’s it really.
I was going to comment on these two articles, but I can’t be arsed.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4853548.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4853318.stm
Have a great rest of the weekend.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Thanks, but no thanks
It's my dads birthday this week, luckily (and very rarely for my family) he actually has a hobby which makes it reasonably easy to buy a present for him. He's a big angler, so it's either tackle or more likely a book or DVD. Seeing as how the shops on the Isle of Man are crap I thought I'd check out Amazon.co.uk to see what they had on offer...
with all the recent trouble about browsing in work and e-mail shenanigans I thought there could be some risk but what the hell heh. No sooner has the page loaded when there's loud laughter from behind me (nosey bastards), top of my "Amazon Recommends" list was this little gem The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I'm guessing this is a whole book dedicated on how to say bend over?
How Amazon managed to pick that considering all I've ever ordered from them is techy books and gadgets I've got no bloody idea but can I get rid of it? This tinternet is a dangerous place and I still haven't bought my dad anything.
with all the recent trouble about browsing in work and e-mail shenanigans I thought there could be some risk but what the hell heh. No sooner has the page loaded when there's loud laughter from behind me (nosey bastards), top of my "Amazon Recommends" list was this little gem The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I'm guessing this is a whole book dedicated on how to say bend over?
How Amazon managed to pick that considering all I've ever ordered from them is techy books and gadgets I've got no bloody idea but can I get rid of it? This tinternet is a dangerous place and I still haven't bought my dad anything.
Mum’s Day
It was a funny old weekend; I went to bed on Saturday Night complaining to my incredibly sexy wife that I felt as if the weekend had been a dead loss and that I hadn’t done anything. The only highlight up to that point was watching the incredibly thrilling Sale Shark’s vs. London Irish game, what a cracker to say the least.
However, all that changed on Mummy’s day. I got up early and waited for the kids to get up. When they finally decided to leave their pits, we began the breakfast feast for Princess. The tray was festooned with a Bacon & Mushroom toasty, OJ, Tea, Flowers, Cards and gifts.
The children then fawned over Mum for the next hour or so, which was nice for her. We then got ready and picked up my Mum before heading off to the restaurant for a three-course feast. Daniel was impeccably well behaved and also ate everything on his plate. My roast dinner didn’t have a roast potato like everyone else, which I mentioned in passing to a waitress, she then reappeared a couple of mins later with a bowl full of them… Result!
Needless to say after three courses including about 7 large roasties I was stuffed….
We also finished the night off with a couple of bottles of Bubbly.
So all in all Sunday made the weekend.
I hope all you Mum’s out there got exactly what you deserve.
However, all that changed on Mummy’s day. I got up early and waited for the kids to get up. When they finally decided to leave their pits, we began the breakfast feast for Princess. The tray was festooned with a Bacon & Mushroom toasty, OJ, Tea, Flowers, Cards and gifts.
The children then fawned over Mum for the next hour or so, which was nice for her. We then got ready and picked up my Mum before heading off to the restaurant for a three-course feast. Daniel was impeccably well behaved and also ate everything on his plate. My roast dinner didn’t have a roast potato like everyone else, which I mentioned in passing to a waitress, she then reappeared a couple of mins later with a bowl full of them… Result!
Needless to say after three courses including about 7 large roasties I was stuffed….
We also finished the night off with a couple of bottles of Bubbly.
So all in all Sunday made the weekend.
I hope all you Mum’s out there got exactly what you deserve.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Bugger
Let me start by stating I’m trying REALLY hard not to spend money today. I have just received an email from Sky, offering me first choice on the new SKY HD service. This is a limited service to start with and that it is on a first come first serve basis.
I can get Sky HD before you general Public type people can get it because I signed up as an interested party months and months ago.
The only problem is money…..
It’s £299 for the new box. That for those who don’t know me, is exactly £299 more than I have available to spend and coincidently exactly £299 more than I have in our savings account.
But if anyone has a spare £299 and wants to put it to a worthy cause, please contact me immediately.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Colloquialisms
I was chatting on MSN this morning and found myself using the phrase "he could always kip down" meaning "he could go to sleep".
Now, in my tenure in Canada I have adapted. Being of high intellect, I am able to speak Canadianese. It's like English but with far fewer words and no slang (apart from adding 'eh' to everything).
But Shirley (being a woman) struggles. An example:
Our car was getting fixed, so Shirley rang a friend and asked if she could "bum a lift". There are so many reasons a Canadian wouldn't understand this not least of which is that Shirley has a manx/yorkshire accent.
So, not unexpectedly, her friend didn't understand.
At which point, Shirley's brilliant strategy for dealing with the vocab. limited Canadians kicks in. She just speaks slower and louder.
"CAN - I - BUM - A - LIFT"
It's hysterical.
Before they die, everyone should see the look of total confusion on a Canucks face with Shirley shouting the following:
"WIND - YOUR - NECK - IN" (i.e. calmn down)
"SHE'S - POTS - FOR - RAGS" (i.e. she's mentally deranged)
"CHIPS - AND - MUSHY - PEAS - PLEASE" (no known translation)
Sometimes, she finishes her bizarre phrase as though it will become self explanatory. For example, if someones pant leg didn't meet their shoe (thereby revealing sock):
"Put jam on shoes" says Shirley
"Ugh?" replies the Canadian
"(sigh) Put some jam on your shoes and invite your trousers down for tea" she says, somehow explaining all.
"Ugh?" repeats the Canadian
But I will give her credit. She decided early on to remain true to her heritage and remains uncompromised. Me? I'm a total sell out. That's it for now, I gotta put out the trash, eh!
Now, in my tenure in Canada I have adapted. Being of high intellect, I am able to speak Canadianese. It's like English but with far fewer words and no slang (apart from adding 'eh' to everything).
But Shirley (being a woman) struggles. An example:
Our car was getting fixed, so Shirley rang a friend and asked if she could "bum a lift". There are so many reasons a Canadian wouldn't understand this not least of which is that Shirley has a manx/yorkshire accent.
So, not unexpectedly, her friend didn't understand.
At which point, Shirley's brilliant strategy for dealing with the vocab. limited Canadians kicks in. She just speaks slower and louder.
"CAN - I - BUM - A - LIFT"
It's hysterical.
Before they die, everyone should see the look of total confusion on a Canucks face with Shirley shouting the following:
"WIND - YOUR - NECK - IN" (i.e. calmn down)
"SHE'S - POTS - FOR - RAGS" (i.e. she's mentally deranged)
"CHIPS - AND - MUSHY - PEAS - PLEASE" (no known translation)
Sometimes, she finishes her bizarre phrase as though it will become self explanatory. For example, if someones pant leg didn't meet their shoe (thereby revealing sock):
"Put jam on shoes" says Shirley
"Ugh?" replies the Canadian
"(sigh) Put some jam on your shoes and invite your trousers down for tea" she says, somehow explaining all.
"Ugh?" repeats the Canadian
But I will give her credit. She decided early on to remain true to her heritage and remains uncompromised. Me? I'm a total sell out. That's it for now, I gotta put out the trash, eh!
Great Night Out
Well the call went out and all the lads responded. So for once, the wife stayed in and I went out. For some reason it was actually heaving with people in the Pub, but we had a great time. We drank beer, and talked up the old times as if they were the good old days. We spent hours taking the piss out of each other, which is a bloke’s favourite past time. We talked of Ferengi’s, Halitosis, Hairy Backs and Tomb Stones. It was a hoot.
I also found out to my disbelief that I am in fact a Communist at heart… Who would have thought?
I also showed the wife how to come home; you should come home” Drunk & Sleepy”, not as she does, “Drunk & Horny”.
It turns out whilst I was out, she was on the phone to her cousin (who lives virtually at the bottom of the road) for 2.5 hours??? Two and half hours on the phone WTF?? What do you talk about for that long? Chicks Eh!
Great Night indeed and I look for to the Official Congrats to Steve & Yvonne drinks soon.
I also found out to my disbelief that I am in fact a Communist at heart… Who would have thought?
I also showed the wife how to come home; you should come home” Drunk & Sleepy”, not as she does, “Drunk & Horny”.
It turns out whilst I was out, she was on the phone to her cousin (who lives virtually at the bottom of the road) for 2.5 hours??? Two and half hours on the phone WTF?? What do you talk about for that long? Chicks Eh!
Great Night indeed and I look for to the Official Congrats to Steve & Yvonne drinks soon.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
A Glorious Day!
It’s as sunny as a sunny thing on Sunny Day today on the Jewel in the Irish Sea (aka The Rock).
I’m in a good mood as well, must have something to do with the Sunshine.
I’m out with the lads tonight, just for a few drinks and a chat. It should be a laugh.
I’ve also been reading other people’s blogs this morning (nothing new there then), but it does surprise me how good at writing some of them are, or at least how well written they are and the thoughts they get across. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of Blogs out there (or out here as it were).
Diary Blogs: I had chips and Red Wine last night and watched TV.
The Other Type: I can’t really think of a single word to describe them, but they leave you thinking about what they said. They are not telling you what they have done in the last 24 hours, but are telling you either a little about themselves or a little about the way they think.
Obviously this blog is most ramblings and more of a Diary blog, apart from when Mikey has his idle musing, or Paul goes off on one of his Rants…
That’s it really, I off to do a bit of work, once I’ve made a cup of tea and finished reading Skysports Rugby and the AV Forum.
Have a nice midweek day.
I’m in a good mood as well, must have something to do with the Sunshine.
I’m out with the lads tonight, just for a few drinks and a chat. It should be a laugh.
I’ve also been reading other people’s blogs this morning (nothing new there then), but it does surprise me how good at writing some of them are, or at least how well written they are and the thoughts they get across. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of Blogs out there (or out here as it were).
Diary Blogs: I had chips and Red Wine last night and watched TV.
The Other Type: I can’t really think of a single word to describe them, but they leave you thinking about what they said. They are not telling you what they have done in the last 24 hours, but are telling you either a little about themselves or a little about the way they think.
Obviously this blog is most ramblings and more of a Diary blog, apart from when Mikey has his idle musing, or Paul goes off on one of his Rants…
That’s it really, I off to do a bit of work, once I’ve made a cup of tea and finished reading Skysports Rugby and the AV Forum.
Have a nice midweek day.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Blast from the Past
As I came out of the Gym at lunch time, some fella was just walking past. We both briefly looked at each other and then carried on our separate ways.
It wasn’t till I was around the corner that it sunk in who it was. It was an old friend that I haven’t seen since I was a Primary School, some 28 years ago (I’m trying not to think how old that statement makes me feel).
Anyway, luckily living on the Rock, there is nothing sacred, and 15 mins later I had it confirmed that he was living back on the Island, where he worked and his email address.
So we are going out for a drink next week to catch up on old times… I think I’ll bring Ady along, as after 30 mins of catching up, we’ll have nothing to say.
So for those out there who remember Mr John Melia, who was once listed as one of the Top Ten Most Eligible Bachelors in London, we are going for a drink if you wish to tag along.
He also made me promise not to tell Barry where he was… So hush hush Bro.
To sleep, perchance to Dream
Or as Keats puts it:
O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,--
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.
Could I sleep last night? Could I bollocks… I tried turning off the light at 11:45pm, but by 1.30am I was still looking at the clock and trying to find a comfortable position. So bollocks this, I thought, and I popped downstairs to watch TV.
I watched the Gadget show first, and entered their competition to win £4000 worth of cool gadgets. Then I watched some Babecast XXX, and a little TV Girls Live. Actually I watched “Planet Earth”, but that doesn’t sound as Heterosexual as the naked chicks programs.
Anyhoo, I eventually wandered back up to bed at 3.30am and struggled to find sleep. I think it was around 4.00am the last time I looked at the clock. That is, till the alarm went off at 7.30am.
I hate sleep… it’s an elusive mistress.
O soft embalmer of the still midnight,
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign,
Our gloom-pleas'd eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine:
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close
In midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes,
Or wait the "Amen," ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passed day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes,--
Save me from curious Conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards,
And seal the hushed Casket of my Soul.
Could I sleep last night? Could I bollocks… I tried turning off the light at 11:45pm, but by 1.30am I was still looking at the clock and trying to find a comfortable position. So bollocks this, I thought, and I popped downstairs to watch TV.
I watched the Gadget show first, and entered their competition to win £4000 worth of cool gadgets. Then I watched some Babecast XXX, and a little TV Girls Live. Actually I watched “Planet Earth”, but that doesn’t sound as Heterosexual as the naked chicks programs.
Anyhoo, I eventually wandered back up to bed at 3.30am and struggled to find sleep. I think it was around 4.00am the last time I looked at the clock. That is, till the alarm went off at 7.30am.
I hate sleep… it’s an elusive mistress.
That's not snow...
In response to the snowy pics posted on this very blog a few days back, I thought I'd show you what snow is really like. This was taken last night.
We don't measure it in centimetres, we measure in feet.
We don't measure it in centimetres, we measure in feet.
Real Age
My actual age is 37.7
My 'real age' is 36.7
Basically, I eat sod all fruit and veg and ride a bicycle without a helmet. Sue me.
And I need to lose a bit of weight. Oh, and drink more alcohol!
My 'real age' is 36.7
Basically, I eat sod all fruit and veg and ride a bicycle without a helmet. Sue me.
And I need to lose a bit of weight. Oh, and drink more alcohol!
Monday, March 20, 2006
My “Real Age”
I have just done this online test (http://test.realage.co.uk/) to see how old I really am, after being called, “Old & Haggard” by my nearest and dearest.
Congratulations! You've completed the test!
Your age is: 39.1
Your 'real age' is: 37.9, but you could be younger!
Difference: -1.2
Your Personalized Recommendations
What can you do to start growing younger? Read the personal recommendations and benefits below to see how simple choices can affect your rate of aging.
YOU SLEEP A LITTLE LESS THAN AVERAGE. IF YOU DON'T FEEL WELL RESTED, TRY TO GET A LITTLE MORE SLEEP.
Sleep is an important way in which the body regulates itself. Although you may be getting the right amount of sleep, getting too little can be stressful to your body. You might try going to sleep a little earlier and sticking to this same regular sleep schedule every day.
FLOSS EVERY DAY.
Flossing is the most important thing you can do to prevent periodontal disease and needless aging.
REDUCE YOUR ALCOHOL INTAKE.
For most people, moderate alcohol consumption (1/2 - 1 units a day) slows the aging process. Drinking more than that makes your 'real age' older.
FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH BENEFITS INCREASE YOUR VEGETABLE INTAKE.
Ideally, you should be eating 5-6 servings of vegetables every day. A diet high in vegetables is not only a diet high in vitamins and nutrients, but also fibre. Maximize the anti-aging properties of antioxidants by increasing your vegetable intake.
IF POSSIBLE, ADD FISH OR OTHER SOURCES OF OMEGA-3 FATTY ACIDS TO YOUR DIET SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK.
Besides being a good source of protein and vitamins, fish contains omega-3 fatty acids, which reduce triglyceride levels in the blood and slow aging of the arteries. Be sure to eat at least 2 servings of non-fried fish per week for optimal health benefits.
A Woman Who Reads!
One morning a husband returns to his lake cabin after several
hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors
out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book, enjoying the
peace and quiet.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.
Why oh Why Would I Want to?
Go Out that is.
My wife is always complaining that I never go out and give her a night to herself. She is good enough, to go out with the girls at least once a week to allow me some alone time, but I never reciprocate and allow her the same luxury.
But why would I want to go out.
At home, I have an extremely comfortable sofa, my house is very warm and welcoming. I have a nice 37” HD TV, Broadband, Xbox 360, Sky +, DVD’s galore and a fridge full of beer and wine.
It seems to me that there is no reason to go out? I’ve been out and done that, but you can’t beat home, a real home and that’s what I have.
However, there is one reason, Mates (Friends, Pals, Buddies, Chums, Comrades, Besties).
You can’t invest enough time in your friends. They are there (if they are not, then they are not really mates) when you need them. When times are bad or girlfriends are as crazy as a bag of cats, it’s mates that keep you sane. Girlfriends come and go, but mates are there for the long haul.
So I have decided to make more of an effort and get out with the Lads every couple of weeks. Email is not enough any more, neither is interaction via the medium of Blog.
I need real life, sit down, beer in one hand and talk bollocks for 4 hours, sort of interaction.
So the call has gone out and I am awaiting a response.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The Great Height Conspiracy
Have you ever noticed that we are all, in fact, pretty much the same height?
Although we often describe somebody as 'short' or 'tall' there's not really much difference. A short man would be, say, 5'4 whereas a tall man would be 6'1. That's only a 10% difference. Hardly a drop in the ocean, it's not as if tall people are triple the height of short people.
In fact, visitors from outer-space might consider us all to be the same size. They might be gobsmacked (or the equivalent alien jargon) by our entire culture which is centred around height. They'd say "but you're all pretty much the same height, we'd need very high precision measuring devices to tell the difference" or "gak spp'j cwk taaaak".
You get my point.
Of course there are anomalies. Some examples follow:
1. Really tall black people
2. Children
3. People lying down
And, on a side note, although there are extra-large and extra-small sizes, there is no extra-medium. Now that is pure discrimination.
I think you'll all agree, free porn rules!
Thankyou.
Although we often describe somebody as 'short' or 'tall' there's not really much difference. A short man would be, say, 5'4 whereas a tall man would be 6'1. That's only a 10% difference. Hardly a drop in the ocean, it's not as if tall people are triple the height of short people.
In fact, visitors from outer-space might consider us all to be the same size. They might be gobsmacked (or the equivalent alien jargon) by our entire culture which is centred around height. They'd say "but you're all pretty much the same height, we'd need very high precision measuring devices to tell the difference" or "gak spp'j cwk taaaak".
You get my point.
Of course there are anomalies. Some examples follow:
1. Really tall black people
2. Children
3. People lying down
And, on a side note, although there are extra-large and extra-small sizes, there is no extra-medium. Now that is pure discrimination.
I think you'll all agree, free porn rules!
Thankyou.
Friday, March 17, 2006
The Weekend Cometh.
Highlight of the week was being told I looked “Old and Haggard”… Which is a right confidence builder. Still I picked my self up and told myself not to listen to that person, after all what did she know? We’ve only been together 6 years…
Today is Friday and I’ve spent all morning watching the Rugby 7’s from the Commonwealth Games, live on the BBC website. Which is definitely better than working? Not that I have any work to do, well I actually do have work to do, but I can’t do it as I’m watching the Rugby 7’s from the Commonwealth Games, live on the BBC website.
Nothing special planned for the weekend, just another slow one.
Apart from the last weekend of the Six Nations.
That’s it really; I hope Ady had a good weekend in Amsterdam. I hope Paulie B has a great weekend with his family. I hope Mike and his troop are busy packing in preparation for the imminent return to the Rock from the Outback.
I hope all of your wishes bar one comes true.
Later Days
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Hunting Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Americans are Dumb
And I can back it up.
I was in Wendy's yesterday. You don't have that in Grand Britain. However, you may have heard the news story where a woman found a severed finger in her chilli and tried to sue them. Turns out it was a hoax.
But Wendy's sales took a huge nose dive due entirely to this incident.
Which got me wondering: did your average North American believe that it was now Wendy's corporate policy to put emancipated digits in their mexican-style minced beef?
Consider the scene:
Randy: "Let's grab us some chow at Wendy's"
Brock: "Hey, no way dude. Dontcha know they is putting fingers in all their food now?"
Randy: "Hell no! Let's go punch a cow instead"
Brock: "Cool!"
etc.
Whereas, back home, someone working at McDonalds reportedly ejaculated into the food. Did that stop us eating at the Golden M?
Of course not. How absurd!
Firstly: how many times can someone jerk off in a day? It's not as if he can even cover 1% of the daily output of said franchise. And secondly, just don't order anything with mayo on it.
Sorted.
I was in Wendy's yesterday. You don't have that in Grand Britain. However, you may have heard the news story where a woman found a severed finger in her chilli and tried to sue them. Turns out it was a hoax.
But Wendy's sales took a huge nose dive due entirely to this incident.
Which got me wondering: did your average North American believe that it was now Wendy's corporate policy to put emancipated digits in their mexican-style minced beef?
Consider the scene:
Randy: "Let's grab us some chow at Wendy's"
Brock: "Hey, no way dude. Dontcha know they is putting fingers in all their food now?"
Randy: "Hell no! Let's go punch a cow instead"
Brock: "Cool!"
etc.
Whereas, back home, someone working at McDonalds reportedly ejaculated into the food. Did that stop us eating at the Golden M?
Of course not. How absurd!
Firstly: how many times can someone jerk off in a day? It's not as if he can even cover 1% of the daily output of said franchise. And secondly, just don't order anything with mayo on it.
Sorted.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
What’s Going On?
Not a lot at the moment, I started the week full of gusto thinking I would knuckle down and do loads at work. Then I realised that I only had a couple of things pencilled in, and that they didn’t have to be done till September.
So my bubble burst and I have sat at my desk, dejected for the last 3 days. My only highlight of the week is betting £3 each day on the Cheltenham Races. So far I have won £6.21 from a £2.80 bet.
My bets for today, a grand total of £3, all of which are 30p each way.
1400 Mr Nosie (although most people go for Denman)
1435 Darkness (although most people go for Commercial Flyer)
1515 Fota Island (although most people go for Kauto Star)
1600 Fair Question
1640 Liberthine
In other news, the Manx DHSS are out to get me! That’s official. I can’t go into why I make this statement, but needless to say it is true. Coonts.
All of the family birthdays are out of the way till August.
It’s Pay Review month, so in the next 2 weeks I’ll find out my pay rise and bonus. I didn’t get one last year, and have brought it up at every opportunity given. I hope I have worn them down, into giving me one! (ou er misses)
That it really, I’ve be playing Halo tonight around 9.00pm, anyone out there can join in, send me a Friend invite. Kingster IOM is my Gamertag
There are another 3 people with author rights to this blog, but they are conspicuous by their absence. I’m sure our Canadian Manxie has some thoughts or stories to tell us.
That’s it, how are you all doing?
Jaffa Cakes: Biscuit or Cake?
The source of one of the most complex conundrums ever to challenge mankind:
Is it a cake or is it a biscuit?
These small circular sponges topped with chocolate and squidgy orange stuff have been the subject of much debate over the years. Even the British government has become embroiled in this web of snack-related intrigue. At present, the Jaffa Cake is classified as a cake but the British government is attempting to get it reclassified as a biscuit. This would mean it would come under a higher tax bracket, as biscuits are not as perishable as cakes, or something technical like that.
It is not clear how much more expensive the Jaffa Cake would become should this proposal go through Parliament, but it's possible they could move from the realms of 'everyday favourite' to become more a much more exclusive item. In which case, they could end up being treated similarly to fine wines, so that in the future, small groups of Jaffa Cake connoisseurs might be found in darkened cellars discussing texture, nose, and full-bodied flavour.
Is it a cake or is it a biscuit?
These small circular sponges topped with chocolate and squidgy orange stuff have been the subject of much debate over the years. Even the British government has become embroiled in this web of snack-related intrigue. At present, the Jaffa Cake is classified as a cake but the British government is attempting to get it reclassified as a biscuit. This would mean it would come under a higher tax bracket, as biscuits are not as perishable as cakes, or something technical like that.
It is not clear how much more expensive the Jaffa Cake would become should this proposal go through Parliament, but it's possible they could move from the realms of 'everyday favourite' to become more a much more exclusive item. In which case, they could end up being treated similarly to fine wines, so that in the future, small groups of Jaffa Cake connoisseurs might be found in darkened cellars discussing texture, nose, and full-bodied flavour.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Lemmings
I was walking through the street at lunch time and I had a quick look in Game. They have brought out Lemmings for the PSP. I used to really love Lemmings way back on the Mega Drive. I spent hours on it as I love puzzle games.
I was sorely tempted to buy it, but technically the PSP is my son’s so I would have full access to it.
Then reading this review on the Tin Ter Net suggested that my nostalgia may be addling my brain.
And so here is the FREE online version of the original game.
http://www.elizium.nu/scripts/lemmings/
Enjoy
The Weekend that Was
Since our cooker had been on the blink (where on earth does that saying come from?), I didn’t have a chance to cook my eye-catching wife a meal for her birthday on Monday. As it was eventually fixed Thursday and Friday was the first night without all the kids, I made up for it then, and let her cook me a meal. A most romantic evening it turned out, although the two bottles of white wine didn’t do me any favours in the morning.
Saturday we all hung round waiting for the birthday boy to turn up from his Dads. He was only in the house 2 mins, before he was off to one of his clubs. So the actual birthday was something of a damp squid…..
Sunday it was an awful day weather wise, which actually played into our hands. We decided to go bowling and didn’t book a lane, but because of all the snow, half the people didn’t turn up for the Junior League that was on. This meant we were able to get a lane after all. A quick pub lunch followed, and then the birthday boy shot off back to his dad’s…. Poor Mum.
That was it…
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Let us see what have I done at work today?
Well last night I downloaded the latest Game Demo from Xbox Live (The Outfit), but it wouldn’t work, anyhoo, so I surfed around my favourite Forum and found the answer to make it work.
Then the MD’s PA brought her son’s Nintendogs game in, as she could not get it working. Therefore, I surfed my favourite forum and found the answer. I then spent the next 30 mins training a virtual dog, called Charlie, his name and how to sit.
I then read more of my favourite forum, regarding 37WLT58 HD LCD TV, SKY HD and a couple of more threads. I quick peek at a PSP forum, and the odd glance at Donna’s blog to see if she had updated. I rang the wife as well.
Which brings me up to 11.34, hardly worth starting any work now, as I’m off to the Gym at 12.30.
As for this afternoon, I have one job. I have to take a picture of the MD’s desk as it’s “unsuitable” and he wants a new one…
Roll on the weekend..
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Done it!
Since my feet were soaking from walking to work this morning, I finally went out and bought a new pair of Shoes. Not exactly the finest Italian Leather, nor are they some designer label, but they do exactly what they say on the box (actually they don’t give you a box, they just throw them in a bag).
Anyhoo for a bargain of £6.99 I now have dry feet again…. Bring on the rain.
Other news.
Since starting work in a Chemist and being in constant contact with the ill and unhealthy, my strikingly beautiful and sexy wife has felt nothing but poorly. Still I hope she is well enough to meet the girls tonight, a glass of red Wine should help her immune system.
Other news.
I was going to say something about this Story. But where do I start without being labeled a bigot, chauvinist or worse a rapist. However, it states that man should get written consent (virtually saying that) before bedding a wench. If she is too drunk and consent’s at the time but then in the morning when she wakes up and is so embarrassed/ashamed of what she has done (even if it was consensual at the time) she can charge the man with rape….
Don’t get me wrong, I would not want any woman raped, and if they are they should have the full backing of the law and of course the rapist should have his bit’s bitten off by a rabid dog.
But how does this new law work? How do you determine, when no doubt you are in a state as well, that the woman is saying yes and is all over you, that come morning and the tequila is wearing off that she wont change her mind…..
I just don’t think this law is the right way forward.
Thank GOD I am married and have it on tap and don’t have to worry about all this single stuff.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
There’s a Hole in My Shoe that is letting in Water
I know I go on and on about it, but my feet a soaking wet… I really must bite the bullet and buy some new shoes… for crying out loud it’s only £12.
I hate buying shoes…
Monday, March 06, 2006
Snow, Beer & Hot Food
I had a fantastic weekend, starting on Friday when we just all sat round the TV, eating and talking (myself, the wife and the 3 kids). Nothing special it just felt really “family”, which I am a big sucker for.
Although I couldn’t sleep and was up at 5.50, there was a big bonus to start the day, as Ady has already stated it SNOWED, not a couple of centimeters but inches of pure white powdered FUN. Initially the kids wouldn’t go out and help me build snowmen, but eventually they gave in. We had a great time, and although there were a few (actually lots) of tears at various points in the snowball fights, I can honestly say it was the best morning ever.
I also managed to watch a fair bit of Rugby, and then once the children were all dropped off at various relatives we had my wife’s birthday night out to enjoy. A couple of drinks at a very relaxing bar, and then on for an Indian, was the order of the night. Not really knowing my way around an Indian Menu, I just picked the first thing that I came across; as it was everyone was just sharing the meals.
Then it was off to the local Disco, which I have been informed is now called a Club. Anyhoo at said Dicso Club, Steve & I were straight up on the floor and showing the young pups how to move. It wasn’t long before a hen party were up and trying to get our attention.
Basically it was a great night and a Big Up to all of those that turned up, especially Paulie B & S as it was their first night out with us lot (I hope they’ll join us again) and for Timmy D for making the effort in his Pink Shirt. Good to see you again fella.
Sunday was very relaxing.
On an aside I’ve just had my Work Staff Appraisal and here are the comments from my Senior Manager.
“A solid appraisal and reflects the excellent (often undetected) work Paul performs.”
I actually thought I sat around all day reading website’s and blog’s?? Who knew I was such a benefit to the Company. I might ask for a pay rise.
Who am de Man?
I was reading an article on the web about one of the Producers of the film “Crash” suing the Academy Awards people, and at the every end there was a quote from a Film Critic stating he had heard more people talking about voting for “Crash” than the bookies favourite “Brokeback Mountain”.
So I put a £4 on Crash @ 4-1, (all I had left on my Internet betting account) and I WON…..
Who said you can’t make money on the Internet.
PS. Happy Birthday Honey.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Snow - what is it good for?
Bringing the community together, that's what.
Was awoken by my girlfriends kids this morning (at ay em ridiculous) with the hushed glee that there was snow everywhere. And yep - a picture perfect scene of white frosting that clung to the trees and virginated everything in sight (only previously seen in movies). So we get bundled up to tackle the cold (the secret is in the layers) and we go out to build snowmen (the snow was too light - so didn't stick well) have snowball fights and sledding up and down the roads.
And so the families in the houses up and down the road slowly emerged in a colourful display of knitware, and enjoyed the shared occasion. Not since the Queens Coronation anniversary have so much of the community shared the community spirit. Snowball wars settled age old arguements about fence size and old and young bonded together as they never will again.
Aaaah. Bless.
So the Island was snowed in again. But this time it was a weekend and so people didn't need that excuse to stay off work - instead, for a scant few hours, we all pelted each other with snow and laughed it off afterwards.
Was awoken by my girlfriends kids this morning (at ay em ridiculous) with the hushed glee that there was snow everywhere. And yep - a picture perfect scene of white frosting that clung to the trees and virginated everything in sight (only previously seen in movies). So we get bundled up to tackle the cold (the secret is in the layers) and we go out to build snowmen (the snow was too light - so didn't stick well) have snowball fights and sledding up and down the roads.
And so the families in the houses up and down the road slowly emerged in a colourful display of knitware, and enjoyed the shared occasion. Not since the Queens Coronation anniversary have so much of the community shared the community spirit. Snowball wars settled age old arguements about fence size and old and young bonded together as they never will again.
Aaaah. Bless.
So the Island was snowed in again. But this time it was a weekend and so people didn't need that excuse to stay off work - instead, for a scant few hours, we all pelted each other with snow and laughed it off afterwards.
Friday, March 03, 2006
I want one of those
Every boy’s childhood dream a remote control Shark… I kid you not!
Now if they can put Lasers on their “frickin heads”, we’re laughing.
What we are not laughing at, is standing in a public urinal trying desperately to open the Button Flies on your new jeans…. What a spack I felt. I just couldn’t the fuckers open and after a couple of mins I gave up and just pissed myself. Actually I didn’t, I went to a cubicle and had to take my belt off first. Fucking cooonting jeans.
Other good news is that I fixed my Laptop last night and so saved all my data, alas it now means I can’t try and buy a new one. Bugger.
What else is there??
We are out tomorrow Night to celebrate my stunningly foxy wives’ birthday, and Steve “I haven’t a pot to piss in” Ward’s. After changing venue 6 or 7 times I haven’t a clue were we will eventually end up. As long as my wife is on one arm, and a pint in the other I’ll be a happy man.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Perspective
It’s all about perspective. On the Isle of Man today it is snowing. A light drizzle, that’s has been going for most of the night. The Isle of Man has now come to stand still. There is bedlam on the roads, anarchy in the streets, a subtle (what a weird way to spell this sounding sword, why isn’t it spelt suttle? What that all about) mix of Mad Max 2 and Ice Age.
People that live 4 miles away from work (a vast distant in Manx terms) have refused to even chance coming to work because of the hazardous conditions. They are appalled that we would even suggest driving when there is almost an inch on snow on the roads….
This is the current Manx Weather state
Crazy.
Yet on the other side of the planet, is one of our homesick brethren, who pines for greener fields, has another perspective.
It’s -23°C there, with feet deep snow, and life goes on as normal. Everyone continues there daily 2 hour commute and children merrily go to school.
This is the current Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Weather
Of course that does not distract from the fact the place is a shit hole…
Come home soon yessir fella.
Bugger
My laptop blew up last night. BANG! Actually it just died and refused to come back on.
Which could have a silver lining; it could be time to buy a new one. Except for bastard money. How come there’s not enough money to go round. Why on earth don’t they just print more? And why doesn’t the Government give everyone £1000 at the start of the year, a sort of prize for passing go? Coonts.
Any why can’t I be arsed to do any work? I had my staff appraisal last Thursday which got off to a good start, “So Paul, tell me exactly; What do you do?”…
Well if you are going to be sarky, you can shove your job up your arse, you cooonting fuck bastard twat.
Is what I screamed inside my head; in reality I externally verbalised some bullshit that seemed to appease him.
But they gave me a shit load of “projects” to do on the understanding that they would in return pay for my MSCA.
Did I mention my laptop blew up… coonts.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
A Classic Oldie
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
Fucking Lent
I decided to give up Tea for lent, as its one thing that I regularly have. In fact, at work, I have around 10 cups a day; this is mostly to give me something to do.
Well it is 11.20 and we’ve just had work pasties, and I would have killed for a nice brew to wash it down with.
Still another 39 days to go or so.
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